[LoVeLyShAnNoN]

hello everyone...i have a situation that i need some help on and i need help fast. ok i have been married for 4 years with a man and we have a two year old daughter. I work in a casino and my husband does not work, he stays home with our child. We have been having fights alot and we have differences but i love him alot. Heres the situation....I have been working in this casino for about a year and ever since the first day i have had my eyes set on this gorgeous guy that works there as well. for the longest time all we did was say hi to eachother and about 2 months ago we really started to talk. i put my self out there and i made it obvious that i liked him. He caught it and more and more eachday we would talk. well about a few days ago he asked me if i lived with anyone...where i lived and all the small talk. so i told him i lived with my aunt and blah blah blah. So then he tells me he would like to get together with me on thursday because thats both our days off. I was so excited and anxious and im supposed to go this thursday. I really am so attracted to this guy and i am really wanting to go. I dont know what to do... i feel like telling my husband that i have to work that day just so i could go be with this guy. its killing me.......i want a change in my life and i want to see if i could start something new with this guy. Oh and to let you all know i am 22 and this guy is 24 and i feel like i need to go out and have fun with my life..but im stuck cuz i am married. tell me what to do....my mind is set to cheat on him with this guy.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well lovely, you put this poor unsuspecting co-worker in a terrible, unenviable position. When a man choses to have an affair with another mans wife, they know thats risky business -- many avoid that. You have lied to him, and he has decided to ask you out under false pretenses. He may not have done so if he knew you were married, what hope do you have with this new guys starting things out this way even if you were planning on leaving your husband.

I think you are mixed up and feel tied down and that is something many people go through, there are 4 roads that you can choose as far as I can see to come to terms with it all.

1. Come clean to your husband that you are unhappy BEFORE cheating, that way there is even a remote possibility of him being able to fix things with you. You married him, he deserves the chance to try to make you happy before off and doing something that may put a break in the glass that is unrepairable.

2. Come clean to your husband that you are wanting a seperation/ etc... and coming clean to this new guy that you are married and try to see if this works out for you with the new guy knowing you are gambling on your husband being there for you if it doesn't work out -- he may or may not be.

3. Lie to both of them, walk around nervous and suspicious. Guarding your cell phone, talking in whispers , feeling the weight of the world on your back. The guilt, and the ultimate choice that will have to be made down the road if you decide you can no longer go on living two different lives.

4. Just stop it with the new guy, you don't have to explain to him anything if you don't go on this date with him... just forget him and try to work things out with your man. You don't need to break his heart because you didn't act on your thoughts . Try to dig deep inside yourself and find the feelings you felt for him once, ask him for help in this and try to rekindle the spark and fun that made you fall in love with him.

[HALFNOTHING]

oh sweetheart, you love your husband but yet you like other guy? you should clarify which of them who do you really love? consider your child and your husband.. maybe you are only attracted to him because this man has something that you're husband haven't..

Think with your heart and mind..

[LoVeLyShAnNoN]

its so hard though i see this guy everyday and it kills me. a part of me wants the two different lives but like you said....it will have too much pressure on me and i will be a walking lie. to him and my husband.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You can't start a relationship built on a lie and you already have..

Even if you went through with this and you liked this guy more and more the truth will come out and as such, he will walk.

I imagine he knows nothing of the child either?

Your probably un-happy because you work at the Casino, there are people drinking, laughing and it's a different world. At home, your husband is probably tired from caring for your child and so that life is boring to you.

You say you love your husband, but obviously you are not "in-love with him" or have lost that spark.

Maybe it's time to see if you can re-build something into your marriage. You should never walk away from something unless you know 100% for sure that is what you want.

Your husband trusts you no doubt and probably thinks he is doing the right thing being a stay at home dad.

Have you considered options there? Maybe he really needs a life himself, maybe he doesn't like just doing chores and looking after your child, perhaps he really needs the fun in life as well.

Have a real deep think, it's so easy to get caught in lust and then it goes pfttt and then you have nothing at all.

You will lose both ways in this situation...

CW

[HALFNOTHING]

yeah.. i like your point mom.. it hits the road.. really..

he must check it..

[HALFNOTHING]

she i mean..

[starjoy08]

I can kinda understand. You are young and want more out of life then just work and being a parent. But you are married and you do have a kid together. If you really want to do something with this guy, then liein to him is the worst thing you can do. Try to think why you got married and if you really want to be married. Think about why you like this guy, is it just the looks or is there something else? Honestly it sounds like you know the right thing to do but you don't like it. I guess, I would recommend thinking about the future and try to in vision what your daughter would think, if you tell her this story!! You have a hard decision but good luck!!

[WildChild]

Why are you doing this?
What is the purpose?
What do you think is likely to happen when your husband finds out? When this guy finds out?

[Joy]

sounds like you are looking for romance and home life is all too real with problems, bills, child, responsiblity.... ect. Its too easy to just go have fun with someone else care free and problem free.

In the end you would just recreate with the new guy what you have with your husband.

Don't you think your husband deserves to have this fun care free with you? This is just like the husband that steps out and takes the mistress on all the fun trips while the wife is left at home to take all the responsiblity and raise the kids.

you have a few problems in your marriage you need to face head on.... it will either resolve or disolve. In the end you with either have a stronger marriage or be free to pursue a new life.

If you really like this guy don't start it with a lie..... good luck