[Chantalemma]

We can ll judge but we are not in her shoes. I can just imagine how hard this is. I am hoping you pull threw this. My father cheated on my mother for 4 years we kept tellign her and she would never beleive it. I am assuming this is the first time. Hoping it is. I seriously do not know what I would do if I were in your shoes. It is hard, you love him, have or goign to be 3 kids.... He lies and betrays you....! I would go for counselling. Please go and get help for you and for your kids.! Good luck!

[missymiss]

we are going to try counsling i just feel like i will never be able to let this go. yes this is the first time but it is also the first time in our marriage where things were going really good for us everything was finally turning out good and i was happy i am just scared that if i ever do feel happy again it will be short lived because i will always be wondering if he is doing something

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes you will. There is nothing that can change that..

Take care of yourself, you haven't got long to go...

Understand that you have a concern but that you are worth your weight in gold.

And, as you go through councelling show that, that you are worth it...

Maybe, he will see it and realise.

CW

[missymiss]

thank you for that i am feeling much better about the situation he is really trying to show me how much he loves me and i know he does i just think he made a very stupid mistake i told him he is going to have to work really hard to regain my trust in him and he said he is willing to show me i can even if it takes forever

[lizzy_09]

no but he does want to try counsling he said he is willing to do anything to keep me

Well, that's good to hear.

i just cant stop thinking that if he loved me so much how could he go be with her and then come home to me acting like nothing is wrong?

You'll sooner discover the reason why he did that once you go for couples counseling.

thanks to everyone for your support i dont know how i am gonna get through this but hearing what other people have to say is helping me.

Keep us posted of your progress.

[missymiss]

well we decided to take a brake until i had the baby to see how i felt after i had him. well i found out when i came back that he continued the affair and had that girl in my house in my bed. she also had the nerve to use my brush. the only reason i found out is because that dumb husband of mine didnt think to go through the house and look for things she might have left. i found used condoms and her clothes. she even hid a note for me to find in some of my old purses and now he is telling me that he is really ready to be good this time i dont know if i should believe him or not please help me anyone

[2Bpositive]

o.k. so let's say you do go to couseling. Will that make you not think of what he did? Of course not! Counseling will not erase what happened it will only make you both understand why it happened. I think that this will only lead to resentment on your part.

If you take him back you are gonna have to work real hard to get over this whole situation. Cause every time you two get in a fight, you will throw this back at his face. Will you be able to live that way?
I know how you must feel not being able to get that out of your head and it's normal. right now you need to focus on yourself. I feel so bad for you cause you have 2 other kids plus the one you are carrying. It's a tough decision.


Good luck to you.

[PJhavinfunagain]

I know life is hard being a new mommy and all but personally I say get rid of him. Time to have respect for yourself because he sure does not!

[KMonte85]

he said he is willing to do anything to keep me

So much for that!

yes this is the first time

But obviously not the last time!

he is really trying to show me how much he loves me and i know he does i just think he made a very stupid mistake

Once is a stupid mistake, more than that it is a habit

he continued the affair and had that girl in my house in my bed. she also had the nerve to use my brush. the only reason i found out is because that dumb husband of mine didnt think to go through the house and look for things she might have left. i found used condoms and her clothes. she even hid a note for me to find in some of my old purses and now he is telling me that he is really ready to be good this time

Just to add insult to injury he kept the affair going with that same woman who gave him clamydia - only this time he continued the affair in YOUR HOME!

He told you he was willing to do whatever it takes to regain your love and trust the last time he cheated - well, there goes that concept right out the window! Should you trust him again? Absolutely not. He's made a fool out of you - and it seems this woman is pretty comfortable with the situation if she's leaving her clothes lying around your house and writing you little love notes to find in your belongings. I suggest you seek counselling, in an effort to help you cope with the unravelling of your marriage, and to allow yourself to see that you deserve much more than what you are getting. Let's not mince words - you can try to stay with your husband, but your marriage is essentially over - and don't be surprised if some day he chooses to leave you and marry this broad who has already made herself quite comfortable as the other woman... perhaps you might want to talk to a lawyer as well!

[missymiss]

you know its funny but i decided to give him one more chance and things between us are better than ever. he is emotionally there for me now he does things that i could never have dreamed of before he has really put so much effort into turning things around and making them work. we even started doing bible studies together and it has brought us so much closer. i feel like i can trust him again and it feels really good. thank you all for your advice it has really helped me to get through all this. i am also seeing a counsler so it helps to have someone to talk to about it that wont cause me and him to fight.