[Frustr8ed]

Having been a porn addict myself, I just don't understand him turning you down and then getting off to porn an hour later. Especially after just having a heart to heart. Stay on him about getting help. While he does have an addiction, the more important point to drill into his head is his neglect for you.

I agree with OTYA that having a child changes the options. It's not the childs fault that the parents are having issues and the child needs them both. One thing you could do until this is resolved is to change the living arrangements a bit where you aren't sleeping in the same room.

[Munchkin]

Hey guys.. i'm slacking a bit with the replies on here!

Thank you OTYA and Frustr8ed for your replies. I do agree with you both. As far as i'm concerned, i CHOSE to have a child with this man. And to me, that is more of a commitment than getting married (IMO).

Some good news though, he called me up the other day, asked me to meet up with him. I did, and found out we were going to his GP. He wanted me to come with him to show that he was serious about getting help. He spoke to the GP, which i know was embarrassing for him. Told him that he thought he was addicted to porn, it was ruining his relationship, and other aspects of his life. The dr referred him to a counsellor. He can chose to have group sessions or one on one. I don't know how much this will help but i can tell you, i have never been so shocked in my life. I never thought he'd admit he had a problem.
He has also got rid of his laptop, i'm not naive enough to think that that will stop him from looking at some sort of porn if he really wants to. But he is proving to me that he is trying to stop.

I have moved back in. Things seem a bit better. But we haven't had sex. I'm still too angry if that makes sense.

I'll keep you guys posted.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's a brave move on his behalf, time will tell but let go of some of that anger because if he's serious, then he is going to need your support, after all he's doing this for his "family"..

If he doesn't go... fair call there on what you decide.

I'm happy for you in as much as you GOT A MAN TO LISTEN, lol ( hope you laughed) got to help you get over the anger now don't we.

Thanks very much for keeping us posted, it's important to us to know how you all are..

CW

[Guest]

Some good news though, he called me up the other day, asked me to meet up with him. I did, and found out we were going to his GP. He wanted me to come with him to show that he was serious about getting help. He spoke to the GP, which i know was embarrassing for him. Told him that he thought he was addicted to porn, it was ruining his relationship, and other aspects of his life. The dr referred him to a counsellor. He can chose to have group sessions or one on one. I don't know how much this will help but i can tell you, i have never been so shocked in my life. I never thought he'd admit he had a problem.
He has also got rid of his laptop, i'm not naive enough to think that that will stop him from looking at some sort of porn if he really wants to. But he is proving to me that he is trying to stop.

I have moved back in. Things seem a bit better. But we haven't had sex. I'm still too angry if that makes sense.

I'll keep you guys posted.

That is groundbreaking.

Good luck to you both.

If he shares with you any details from his sessions, would you be so kind as to share tips with the rest of the forum? (with his permission of course)

I think it would be valuable insight as this topic comes up often.

[Munchkin]

Hey guys.. I am ashamed by my lack of dedication to this site! I haven't been on for AGES!! and i do apologise for that.

But, as promised, i am back to give you guys an update.

Things are going well.. really well in fact. My fiance has not looked at porn (that i know of anyway!) and i have taken your advice and let go of some of the anger. We are having sex alot more now.. not that that is the most important thing but i can't tell you how nice it feels knowing that i am not going to get rejected if i try it on with him.

He has yet to receive his appointment for therapy.. Bloody NHS!! But as soon as he starts going i will try and share as much as i can with you guys. It's the least i can do for all the advice and support i have been given from you all.

Every day things seem to be getting better and better. Things feel the way they used to when we first got together.

Who knows if it will last but my fingers are crossed!!

[Fiance01]

I think, you should sit down with him and tell him everything that is bothering you. I will also tell him how all this is affecting your relationship with him. Do everything that it takes to make sure he listens to you and he sees that is becoming a big problem.

[Frustr8ed]

That's great news. Keep in mind that it's not an on/off switch that he just happened to turn off. He will have to work hard at it and will need as much support from you as he can get. Best Wishes.

[WildChild]

Good on you! He really does care and wants to repair things. Encourage him to go when he does get the appt (in the US it can take months sometimes too) and rather than dumping on him now, I would use positive reinforcement. Notice and show appreciation for things he does. Tell him how much you enjoy his attention and touch, how much he turns you on. Men need to feel desired too.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks for posting back and giving such positive outcomes that's great.

I agree with Wildchild.. Men do have needs as well, they just don't like showing it, keep loving each other and it will keep going in the right direction and actually sex "is" highly important, it reduces stress, it makes a person feel wanted and it keeps everyone feeling on a small high each time afterwards with a loving feeling inside.

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

Good news on this subject, what a refreshing change! I am so happy for you munchkin. I think walking out when you did may have been enough for him to see that stupid images on a computer are not worth ruining his real life with you. Hopefully it sticks!