[kaylar]

You're right.
In your grandmother's day that is exactly how it went.

I recall when i was very young hearing something, and
asking about it, and was told that 'Uncle Maxie wanted
to join the circus, and they had to talk him out of it."

For years I wondered what he was going to do in the
circus, and why they dug up every old relative from
every corner of the universe to talk uncle maxie out
of joining the circus.

(Laughing my head off as I type).

Of course now I appreciate that he had wanted to
leave his wife for another woman, and because it was
such a unbelievable occurrence, this was how they
translated it.

Uncle Maxie never did join the circus.

[ms.toni]

agree

If any couple man or woman ever say they have never thought about cheating they are lying to themselves and everyone around them. I got married at a tender age of 21. My husband now of ten years was 21 as well at the time. There have been times where I know he has been in situations and could have possibly cheated. My six sense tells me that he did but I have no concrete proof. Afterwards I was on the rampage to get revenge but it made me feel terrible inside because I realized how much I was in love with him. If I can stare into his eyes and get the tingles then I know there is still a lot of feelings there. Now I am not interested in that anymore because any fantacies I have I live them out with him.

[kaylar]

Adultery is not a one size fits all and never was.

There are a lot of reasons for it, some don't
make sense. Some people can not bond.
They just can't.

They change their friends like their shirts
and have no ability to even think...'my wife
is home expecting me..' when some gal wides
out her leg.

Often women don't realise that a man who changes
his friends or who has no friends has a serious problem.

For example;

K has friends he went to school with. Most of his
good friends are of two decades length. Some he
'just met' ten years ago. He has a family, he is
close to them, and when he has a girlfriend, she
is his girlfriend. He's not interested in other women.

When he doesn't have a girlfriend, he plays the
field and has lots of different women. None of
whom are his girlfriends; just dates.

L has no friends. One will see him with someone
and the next week, someone else, and he just
doesn't keep friends. He has little contact with
his family. Like K he will go out with different women
who are just dates. But unlike K, L might have a
wife at home.

When he is out, he forgets about his wife.
He might like her better than his dates,
but the idea that she is to be his one and only
doesn't have any meaning to him.

If one marries K one expects faithfulness and any
adultery would be so out of character and so traumatic
that one would have a whole drama around it.

If one marries L, one can expect a great deal of
meaningless affairs.

Some women have ceased to love their husbands
and couldn't care less what they do, as long as
they don't even think of having sex with them.

They stay in the marriage for property or because
of inertia. Some have their own lives on the side
as well.

So it depends on how adultery strikes you. When,
where, who, how are important.

Some women can forgive, some can't.
Some will leave on a suspicion, others
will stay while he dies of AIDs.

[Dragonfly]

what is the mens forum where this came from? My husband came home with this same article and showed it to me from one of his work seminars.