[stressed]

I'm just reading a post about how a husband changed into a better man after a few years and how he went back to being not so good (a.k.a. a pig).

How many of you have experienced a man who has changed and become a 'better man'? I'm curious about it because 99% of the women say that "men don't change". Is that true? I'm not exactly sure what to think myself. I used to think that people only change for the worse, but I am not sure anymore.


I post this in the Husband/Fiance board because I'm talking about men who are married/engaged/in longterm relationships and not a man you've known for a couple of months.

[WildChild]

People change because they see a need to or value in doing so. If it's easier not to many won't bother. We could get into a big long thing about men being more socialised to believe that whatever they do is OK so they don't bother. But I think that's it.

[stressed]

Excellent point.

[Texinator]

Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and maybe therefore also more self aware and more willing to work on themselves. On the other hand a lot of guys just think everything is fine and if a woman has a problem with their behavior then it's the woman's fault. But it's a generalization of course. Doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions.

[caterpillar79]

Typically, men and women are like what Tex described above. There are a few men who are indeed in touch of their emotions (I found one - and I am keeping him!).

Human nature and gender make-up determine as to whether he will keep improving himself. A lot of personal conviction is at play on this aspect. Most men just don't care about it. Period.

[blowfish]

man changed only if they want to....
i never try to changed my husband he is what he is, i just say what i like and dont like after that its his choise to listen or not....(never push your man)

somehow its improve our relationship (glad it works)

[pretzel]

For me anyway, it was very much a matter of maturity. I'd like to think I'm a much better person now than I was 20 years ago.

Quite honestly, not having sisters really did shelter me as to how to be compassionate and understanding of the uniqueness in living with a woman. There was a lot of adjusting that I needed to make in order to have a successful relationship.

The jury may still be out of whether or not I was successful, but I'd like to think I did my best.

[stressed]

Very nice and interesting replies from all of you.

It seems like a change is indeed possible, yet it's eventually all up to the individual. A lot depends on priorities, willingness and understanding.

[Guest]

Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and maybe therefore also more self aware and more willing to work on themselves. On the other hand a lot of guys just think everything is fine and if a woman has a problem with their behavior then it's the woman's fault. But it's a generalization of course. Doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions.

I disagree.

I'd say women are more willing to make decisions based on their emotions, but that doesn't mean they are more "in touch" with their emotions. It just means they are more "emotional."

I think the willingness of a person to work on themselves has a lot more to do with their own personality and environment, than it has to do with their gender.

In general, people are satisfied with the status quo because they aren't challenged.

[Loveshoes]

I disagree.

I'd say women are more willing to make decisions based on their emotions, but that doesn't mean they are more "in touch" with their emotions. It just means they are more "emotional."

I think the willingness of a person to work on themselves has a lot more to do with their own personality and environment, than it has to do with their gender.

In general, people are satisfied with the status quo because they aren't challenged.

I think OTYA has a point. But I have to say that I do agree that men can change...I think anyone that wants to change and would have a reason that is worth doing so would be willing to make that happen.