[LoNelyBaBe]

Hi everyone I'm new on here.. I just cant get any sleep - tell u why? I am 18 and started living with my bf 6 months ago , he is quite older than I am ( to the point where u can say ewww) anyway I love him so much.. but tonight he was watchin tv layin on the couch and I was trying to give him a nice long kiss.. he didn't seem that into it. and he said something in the order of even if i love steak when i eat it everyday i get tired of it... he's a jerk- cuz I AM HURT---what should I do ??

[WildChild]

LonelyBabe, I moved this, it was off topic where you had posted it and would be hijacking the thread.
Sounds like he isn't as interested in sex and affection as you are?

[Guest]

He's got a point. He may be worried about too much of a good thing.

[WildChild]

He's got a point. He may be worried about too much of a good thing.

So if a woman doesn't want it and puts the man off, she's just wrong but if the man puts her off, he "has a point" ? How does that work?

[LoNelyBaBe]

He's been having *PROBLEMS* in bed and .. I think he is acting like this because he is not satisfied with himself.. He sometimes tells me I'M not enough for you.. and stuff like that.. I dont think he is the JERK- he made himself look like.. because he is the sweetest and caring guy.. He is very emotional - at times .. and I been wondering could it be him VS. Himself - thats making him not want to get it on

[WildChild]

It could be. Communication is always important. Talk to him about it in a calm and rational way. Let him know that some cuddling and kissing doesn't have to lead to sex but can be enjoyable on it's own?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

even if i love steak when i eat it everyday i get tired of it..

I think there are better ways to explain to a partner that you don't "need" or "want" affection/sex everyday.

If someone told me "they were tired of sleeping with me" ,as that is how that comes across, I would be hurt as well.

Nothing to do with "points", or "roles", the question here is, this was his statement, I was hurt, what do I do?

The answer is, "considering he is older than you, way older than you", he should know better in how to communicate with you, with something that bothers you, or both of you.

"I'm not in the mood hun". "Tired tonight sweet".. I am sure you would have accepted much better without being so hurt over the words.

I think that when people reference things to "getting tired of it", it reflects you as a person. Tired of sleeping with you.

You need to explain that to him and let him see how his words affected you, he may not have meant it the way he was trying to explain it at all, but needs to know that it hurt your feelings.

Which basically WC has stated above.

You might find from talking (communicating)that you would like to be intimate alot more than he does. You have to decide if that is okay and if there is a compromise that your both happy with.

CW

[LoNelyBaBe]

I talk with him about everything that I am bothered with. I did talk to him a couple mins ago I said I was hurt and.. he said he didnt mean it like that.. he just..bla bla.. well I did slap him around.. and he actually let me do it.. I guess we're even.. I kind of dont blame him.. I am very active.. He's old.. I think I tire him . I just told him that if he does that again.. I probably wont be kissing him anymore .. well we had a make-up session so.. I think I'm good...

[Chantalemma]

I talk with him about everything that I am bothered with. I did talk to him a couple mins ago I said I was hurt and.. he said he didnt mean it like that.. he just..bla bla.. well I did slap him around.. and he actually let me do it.. I guess we're even.. I kind of dont blame him.. I am very active.. He's old.. I think I tire him . I just told him that if he does that again.. I probably wont be kissing him anymore .. well we had a make-up session so.. I think I'm good...

Glad to hear that! They are trully the best! Make up sessions!

[Guest]

He's got a point. He may be worried about too much of a good thing.

Valid point or not, reffering to affection as slab of dead (yet savory!) meat one becomes tired of is pretty insensitive. But I doubt he meant it as insensitive as it came across.

I am sure it was more a case of he was tired in general than tired of you...some guys are embarrased about being tired or not in the mood for sex since that is such a manly man thing to be on all the time and having energy so he probably just said oh I don't want it to get boring doing it all the time rather than the 'good grief i need to catch my breath' he probably meant

If you have more energy than him, let him know its okay that he kisses you passionatly it doesn't have to lead to sex... etc... that even if he tires easy, it doesn't take much energy to snuggle...

And for most women, even if they are horny and in the mood -- if their SO doesn't want sex, the lady be more than happy with some good old fashion affection/intimacy over the cold shoulder and being compared to a stale t-bone.

Wow.

I didn't write any of that except the first sentence. And if people could have had the option of reading the rest of my original words, that first sentence wouldn't have seemed so "insensitive." Because indeed...he was using the analogy to cover up an insecurity of his own. And he has a very understanding partner.

Interesting that you leave the part in you find offensive, but take the part out that wouldn't seem so biting.

Unreal.