[Joy]

Has your fiance had his stag party yet? If he has were there strippers involved or the "of course there were no strippers" but infact there were? I guess more details would help - Has he ever left you wondering over the course of your relationship if other women were on the hook?

I'm not judging you - I've been drunk I've crossed the line before but in all reality I still knew doesn't matter how wasted i was. It"s just when your drunk your reasoning is a little more oh well about the conscequences.

If there are really no underlying problems and this was just a mistake then i think it will serve you well in the future if your husband is ever tempted to fool around - if he fails you will be able to understand how it could happen.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hun don't get married.

See if you are in love, nothing, nothing will make you do that, no alchohol, nothing...

Something is missing... simple..

[Mes T]

That's true about being wasted, you still know full well what you're doing.

And couldn't agree more with CW. Aaaas always.

[pretzel]

My opinion,

There are things in our lives that need to be "banked" for future use. We do things that we normally would not do under normal circumstances. Sometimes those things are positive sometimes not. This is obviously not a positive.

I'm not sold on the idea that it's a "last hurrah" and that all things are acceptable. They're not. I do know that alcohol and being caught up in the moment can occur. That shouldn't be an excuse. But it happens.

The fact that the OP is torn as to what happened tells me anyway, that this was way outside her normal behavior. I'd be inclined to "bank" this as doing something stupid and remember how you feel.

[Guest]

Hun don't get married.

See if you are in love, nothing, nothing will make you do that, no alchohol, nothing...

Something is missing... simple..

Agreed.

Alcohol doesn't change who you are...it lowers your inhibitions...and increases the likelihood to do things you'd consider or have considered doing.

If the likelihood that you would cheat already exists, that indicates that you aren't ready for marriage.

Good luck.

[rcoreyus]

Alcohol does lower inhibitions and causes people to do things they want to do, but would otherwise be wise enough to not do. For a lot of people there are many things they want but know that they should not have.

[stressed]

Actually, in a few cases, alcohol can make a person do things s/he otherwise wouldn't do at all. I've seen cases where people drink so much they don't remember what they did and they do or say things they honestly regret. The thing is, that these people should know that alcohol can lead them into such behaviour and they should either not drink at all or try to limit their drinking.

Somebody once told me (an alcoholic actually, but very intelligent person otherwise): "I don't trust people who don't drink" (i.e. they don't drink because they will bring out their true selves). I used to agree with this statement until I saw the examples I mentioned above. Alcohol doesn't always make us say things we have thought before but keep ourselves from saying, but it can also bring us in a state where our thoughts are distorted and we can say things we've never thought of before.

Still, cheating is not forgiven just because of alcohol. If we know that we can't control ourselves when drunk, then we shouldn't have drunk in the first place.

[rcoreyus]

One of the things that separates men from beasts is the wall between desire and action. Alcohol lowers that wall.

[Hopeless Dork]

Alchohol may lower inhibition, it may amplify a personality trait.... but I don't think it creates a persona that isn't there all along under the surface.

I've always believed a drunk man speaks a sober mind. Alcohol is liquid courage, it allows people to say and do everything they overanalyze or are too shy to do otherwise.

I don't think a faithful, loyal, 'in love' person could drink this magic potion of alchohol and all of a sudden a personality that didn't ever exsist shows up and has sex with random people.

Blame it on the al al al al al alchohol all anyone wants... I think many people use alchohol as a crutch to say and do things that 'aren't them' and fal back on the 'oops i was drunk' excuse. Sure, people that drink don't make rational decisions... which is why keys should be taken BEFORE a person is drunk as once a person is drunk they aren't as responsible as they are sober.

But I would personally never buy alchohol as an excuse for an affair. Either a person wants to or doesn't. If they drink then do it... it would say to me they wanted to all along and just needed the little boost of liquor to facilitate doing so with less guilt.

[rcoreyus]

I don't think alcohol is ever an excuse - you chose to drink knowing the consequences. I do think it can make you do things you would not otherwise do. In this case, sex is fun - if there were no consequences I think a lot of people would have sex with random strangers. What alcohol does is cause you to think less about the consequences.