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Is porn cheating?

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  • Is porn cheating?

    I have caught my husband 4 times now, looking at porn. What bothers me, is some of the porn is morpha looking chicks with hugh boobs, and a mans penis. What is going on here? If anyone even talks about gay guys my husband totally freaks out. Totally against it! Thinks it is sick.
    So why would he look at this type of sight?
    Then I find my hand lotion left next to the key board. He denys everything. But it is right there on the computor.....
    There has been several time that we go without sex for 6 months. He wont even try to touch me. I just dont think I turn him on anymore. He love women with huge breast. And I am only a 36B. I am not fat, only 5'2. Whats wrong with me? I have tried talking to him, but he will not talk about it, he is embarrassed.
    What do I do?

  • try and talk to him again and say that you are in a marrige if you cant talk to me about this what can we talk about your huband should trust you

    Comment


    • There is nothing wrong with you,
      there is definitely something wrong with him.
      watching porn is cheating in my opinion.
      don't blame your look for his mistake.
      you are perfect.
      keep talking to him and that how much that hurts you,
      if he thinks that you are not attractive any more
      this is a serious problem,
      you guys need either some profissional help or
      you need to get out of this marriage.

      appreciate yourself more.



      Comment


      • psycological tip

        well,I'm married as well and in my opinion this is just a stage for him and since men feel trapped after they got married this is the only way they have to feel themselves wild and very young again.
        I've got a psychological tip you could try if you want, even you could have 2 different reactions from him )
        first try this then if you want write me back)
        • visit a porn web page when he is around and see his reaction
        • tell him that you just wanna know him better day by day and since he's obviously really interested in porn you've decided to get into it more often to have one more thing to share with him.
        • do it for a week and see his behavior and reaction
        if he gets mad or angry it means that:
        • it was a scream of freedom;very often men like doing things that their wives hate since it's a perfect way to have their own space, they don't feel good when they share everything with their wives because it's a way to lose freedom.
        • they know that they are not the only ones who run his lives.
        if he sits with you in order to surf on the net:
        • means that he does wanna share different sex experience with YOU "his wife" and in that case you should try different things that you (obviously) approve .
        regards from Chile
        (sorry for the mistakes)
        :pRegards From Chile!

        Comment


        • my fiance watches porn

          I hate to say it but I have looked through my fiance's email and found porn. I found myself getting angry about it. I don't really find anything wrong with him looking at porn, but I feel like he is doing it behind my back because he never mentioned it to me. I would like to ask him about it but I don't want him to know that I was snooping through his e-mail. I also would not mind watching it with him. Should I tell him that I know he watches it? And should I feel angry?

          Comment


          • Yes , it is cheating and you need to let him know that . If he has no interested in you for 6 mns. thats bad . He stoled from you , the very thing that makes the marriage a marriage . Inatimcy is a gift only a husband and wife should ch er TOGETHER period ! End of digustion !
            I am in a marriage of 32 years and I let it go on way to long . I finally had anough last Dec. We are still trying to work things out . But I have heard all the excuses that there are . He said I put on weight , my weight 125 , 5'2" , 41 / 25 / 37 . Not bad for a 50 year old ,two grown kids , rised on my own , he liked 2nd shift never home always working , plus a cancer survivor of 20 years .
            I don't want it . I am too tired . Did he ever stop and think to ask why I don't want it ? No , he was only thinking of himself . I did not want it because I knew he was comparing me to them . Always thinking I wasn't good enough . Always wanting sex and never making love to me . Made me feel like a ***** . Please do yourself a favor and do something NOW . I would not want anyone going through what I did .
            The reason they don't want to be with you is because of the porn . It takes alot away from the guys . You really should study up on porn addiction . It will help you understand alot better than I could explain . It will help you out emotional too. It is not your fault ! Please remember that ! If you do love him and he loves you the 2 of yous should be able to work through this and come out stronger . If he is not willing to give up the porn he isn't wroth your pain you will go through the rest of your life . You are wroth all the admiration respect and love because you are you period ! None of his BS should tell you different !!!!!!!!!

            Comment


            • YES IT IS CHEATING. I have read that there are also men out there who believe it's cheating and yes he is comparing you to them. That is actually what an ******* h#**! of a man once said on a mens forum I visited to learn more about why men watch porn. Some men claimed it was a release but most said they compared their wives to the porn stars. I'm sorry but you have to talk to him and tell him he needs to stop. my only concern is that he might continue doing it behind your back. I have the same problem. I told my husband he needs to stop. He said he doesn't do it any more but I think he still does it behind my back. I'm sorry men can be such jerks. I wish they were like us woman. I don't even consider looking at a different man let alone watching his naked body have sex while masturbating to it. You know men that masturbate when they are not watching porn have to visualize a something that's sexy to them, looking at another woman even on dvd and wanting to F#!** her is wrong. No matter what a man says, that is what he is desiring while watching porn.-It is disgusting.

              Comment


              • What should I do

                Hi I am new at this but I need advice because I am lost. Ok here I go.

                I have been engaged to my future husband for about two months and we have been together for about two years and I love him dearly more then anything in the world. But the problem is he loves porn and he always wants to hide it from me. I don't know why he wants to, I mean we are about to get married and why would he want to hide something from me I know that in relationships everyone has something to hide from the other person. But he loves porn I know for a fact he has stuff on his computer of all kinds of porn. Well this morning I came back from running and he was just satting there watching porn when he knows how I feel about it. To me that is cheating but to him it isn't. When I know that he does it, it makes me feel so bad about myself and makes me hurt inside and he acts like it is nothing big at all. I mean I have seen what he looks at and the women that he looks at looks so much better then me. Should I say something to him or what? I don't know and well I don't know what he feels about me any more.

                What should I do.

                Comment


                • you need to establish whether or not you can go the rest of your life with porn as the third wheel in your marriage. keep in mind that history teaches us that his use of porn will increase and can have dramatic impact on his sexual desire & performance - negative impact.

                  as much as you love him, you need to regard what you can & can't take - and not lightly. it's no more fair to him than it is to you for you to ignore the very real pain porn causes you & slip quietly into a marriage pretending that pain doesn't exist.

                  many divorce lawyers will tell you that porn is the number one wrecker of marriages.

                  decide your boundaries - then communicate them, matter-of-factly. you're not judging or nagging. you're simply highlighting facts for him. this is what you can take; this what you can't.

                  Comment


                  • many divorce lawyers will tell you that porn is the number one wrecker of marriages.


                    oh really, name one? and one that can be quoted directly.

                    i find it funny that most sex therapists, do not see porn has a bad thing.

                    but insecure women and jesus freaks see it has a big problem.

                    Comment


                    • dude.

                      my experience with you is that you ask serious questions like this - then when i answer you start with the insults & silliness.

                      i'm more than happy to engage with you dude - and your insults are not much more than just funny to me - but others on here seem to get really bothered when we argue. bothered to the point of instigating formal complaints.

                      i'll answer your questions gladly & easily, if you really want annswers & you're not just trying to spark a fight.

                      let me know.

                      Comment


                      • Pseudo Therapists AKA Quacks!

                        Originally posted by the dude View Post
                        many divorce lawyers will tell you that porn is the number one wrecker of marriages.


                        oh really, name one? and one that can be quoted directly.

                        i find it funny that most sex therapists, do not see porn has a bad thing.

                        but insecure women and jesus freaks see it has a big problem.
                        Dude,

                        On The contrary, the reason as to why many therapists become therapists is because many of them have emototional issues themselves. Realistically, many of them are emotional wrecks and mentally distraught. They, themselves have never resolved their "mental issues". Many are Bi Polar and suffer from Boderline Personality Disorder, therefore they should not be licensed in the treatment of others. (until they resolve their own mental issues with whatever it takes...Medications, Exercise, etc...) Their reasoning is that if they can learn as much about their patients' problems then they can apply it to their "own failed marriages, their own insecure sexuality issues, their own addictions whether it is PORN,, substance abuse, anger management etc...There are very few successful Psychologists such as Dr.Phil McGraw. He struggled and he overcame many challenges in life. AFTER he overcame his challenges, he treated patients, NOT before or during as many therapists do!
                        When therapists treat patients (when some of them are "not of sound mind" and are suffering from mental issues" will lead to many MAL practice issues, they are perceived as experimenting with patients' emotions!
                        The analogy would be: "we are just rats and mice in a Pavlov Box to these psychologists/therapists!"
                        For example, and I wrote to Wilhelm about this a few weeks ago,(review my previous threads...)
                        My soon to be ex-husband and my Ph.D psychologist in marriage counseling specifically told me that it is imperative that:
                        "I, the wife of a PORN addicted husband needed to engage in PORN with my husband to "save our marriage". This psychologist did other mentally abusive tricks! (read my past threads!)
                        I sued this therapist which exasperated a monetary settlement in my favour.
                        Many "sex therapists" give incorrect advice, and should therefore be sued for Mal Practice. The reason as to why patients do not and will not sue their therapists for Mal practice is because "the PORN addiction, Substance abuse addiction , all addictions therefore become PUBLIC RECORD in Court, and addictive patients would rather lie to put on a faceade and to pacify others than tell the truth. Isn't the whole essence of therapy and how it works HONESTY!
                        Last edited by Gia; 10-19-2007, 04:42 PM.

                        Comment


                        • folks,

                          you're banning all my playmates.

                          i may have to start watching porn again...

                          Comment


                          • whilhem,haha your to funny,but thanks for sticking up for what so many of us believe in and putting that guy in his place.not that im for or against porn thats not the issue here.i just think to catergorize the way he did shoes his lack of intellegence.oh and if you ever need someone to argue with...im here,but i'll win...haha

                            Comment


                            • OK laney, but i only argue about porn.

                              Comment

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