[Fallen1]

Before I get too deep into this, I want to make it clear that I think the porn discussion is interesting - but not that important. Interesting because of it's unique position in relationships (physically harmless, but offensive). Not important because there are so many more serious issues (abuse, neglect, etc, etc) in relationships.

I agree here.

I myself read and have participated in some of the discussions because it is a topic of interest to me. I want to understand it, I want to understand it's part in a mans life. Maybe understanding it is a big part of it (porn) being a problem. We females, well most of us, just don't understand it "importance" to a man, and as it has been said - what you don't understand scares you.

[rcoreyus]

I agree here.

I myself read and have participated in some of the discussions because it is a topic of interest to me. I want to understand it, I want to understand it's part in a mans life. Maybe understanding it is a big part of it (porn) being a problem. We females, well most of us, just don't understand it "importance" to a man, and as it has been said - what you don't understand scares you.

Here is maybe one way to look at it: Some women use vibrators to masturbate. Some men use porn. Both can be fine and healthy. But either could cause someone to ignore their SO, and then it is a problem.

[Fallen1]

Here is maybe one way to look at it: Some women use vibrators to masturbate. Some men use porn. Both can be fine and healthy. But either could cause someone to ignore their SO, and then it is a problem.

True, but a vibrator is just a vibrator, an object. Porn on the other hand involves using other people for excitement - yes I understand that it's just film and/or pictures and the actual person is not in front of you.

It's just hard for some women, me included, to understand the need for men to look at other women when we are right in front of them. I don't have this unavoidable need to look at other men .... shrug.

[rcoreyus]

True, but a vibrator is just a vibrator, an object. Porn on the other hand involves using other people for excitement - yes I understand that it's just film and/or pictures and the actual person is not in front of you.

It's just hard for some women, me included, to understand the need for men to look at other women when we are right in front of them. I don't have this unavoidable need to look at other men .... shrug.

Just discussing, not complaining: Would it make a difference if the porn was animated - if it didn't involve real people? Would it make a difference if the sex toy looked like a real penis? Would written porn stories be different from movies?

[Fallen1]

Just discussing, not complaining: Would it make a difference if the porn was animated - if it didn't involve real people? Would it make a difference if the sex toy looked like a real penis? Would written porn stories be different from movies?

Animated porn .... yeah I can see where that would be easier to handle because it is not looking at an actual person.

Sex toy looking like a penis .... doesn't matter. Even if it looks like one there's not a man attached to it. It's just an object.

Written porn stories .... it's written text, again your not looking at an actual person.

[mr.mansview]

True, but a vibrator is just a vibrator, an object. Porn on the other hand involves using other people for excitement - yes I understand that it's just film and/or pictures and the actual person is not in front of you.

men toIt's just hard for some women, me included, to understand the need for look at other women when we are right in front of them. I don't have this unavoidable need to look at other men .... shrug.

not every man needs to look at porn..i like to look at a beautiful women as much as the next guy, but where is the mystery in porn..once everything is stripped away, what is left..a girl in a tight t-shirt and short shorts is far sexier in the long run than a naked lady..after a few minutes of looking at her, what's left to see?( p.s.) this theory of mine does not include one's SO, where the end purpose is to get her naked..

[Fallen1]

not every man needs to look at porn..i like to look at a beautiful women as much as the next guy, but where is the mystery in porn..once everything is stripped away, what is left..a girl in a tight t-shirt and short shorts is far sexier in the long run than a naked lady..after a few minutes of looking at her, what's left to see?( p.s.) this theory of mine does not include one's SO, where the end purpose is to get her naked..

I'm with you there dr. To me a man in jeans and a white tee is much sexier to look at than a naked man, there's something about the element of mystery.

[rcoreyus]

Animated porn .... yeah I can see where that would be easier to handle because it is not looking at an actual person.

Sex toy looking like a penis .... doesn't matter. Even if it looks like one there's not a man attached to it. It's just an object.

Written porn stories .... it's written text, again your not looking at an actual person.

That is really interesting. I would not have thought that animated vs. real would matter. I have never thought of the actors in movies (of any kind), to be "real". They are just pretending - so drawn, computer generated, or acted, to me it is all made up.

Somewhere in all this is why (most) men and women view porn so differently.

[Fallen1]

That is really interesting. I would not have thought that animated vs. real would matter. I have never thought of the actors in movies (of any kind), to be "real". They are just pretending - so drawn, computer generated, or acted, to me it is all made up.

Somewhere in all this is why (most) men and women view porn so differently.

I can't say all the women that have a problem with it would feel this way but it does make sense to me.

Animated - my husband/boyfriend can't look at her and wish I looked that way, can't compare me to the animated her, can't wish he were having sex with the animated her rather than me, etc. etc.

Real - my husband/boyfriend can look at her and wish I looked more like her, can compare me to her, wish he were having sex with her and not me. And who knows it could even go as far as him looking at it so much that he begins to think that he would prefer that kind of person over me and leave. I don't think these thoughts necessarily have to do with being insecure either.

There are just so many things that go through a females mind ... I know, I'm one of them.

Thanks R .... this is a subject that I want to understand and I've have really enjoyed discussing this with you.

[rcoreyus]

I can't say all the women that have a problem with it would feel this way but it does make sense to me.

Animated - my husband/boyfriend can't look at her and wish I looked that way, can't compare me to the animated her, can't wish he were having sex with the animated her rather than me, etc. etc.

Real - my husband/boyfriend can look at her and wish I looked more like her, can compare me to her, wish he were having sex with her and not me. And who knows it could even go as far as him looking at it so much that he begins to think that he would prefer that kind of person over me and leave. I don't think these thoughts necessarily have to do with being insecure either.

There are just so many things that go through a females mind ... I know, I'm one of them.

Thanks R .... this is a subject that I want to understand and I've have really enjoyed discussing this with you.

I am enjoying the discussion as well. Of course I can't speak for any men other than myself, but to me actors / actresses (in any sort of movie) are fake anyway. What you see on the outside is makeup, what you see on the inside is silicone. Might as well be anamitronic dolls.

I enjoy movies, but they have never seemed real to me - no difference between live action and cartoons. Also , as computer graphics gets better, the difference starts to blur. I understand that some of the muscles in "300" were computer graphics. Beowulf is computer graphics - but based on live actors. I think over the next 20 years the distinction will completely vanish. Movies will be a combination of real people, computer modified people, and pure graphics.

So - drifting away from porn (maybe we need a new thread), do you enjoy live action, and cartoon movies equally, assuming equally good plots, "acting", etc. I do, but I may be unusual.