[Olympia]

=WildChild;
What would have to change to make this good?[/

I have asked the very same question, WC...
It keeps returning to what is causing him to seek outside of our marriage. THE TRUTH!!

I Communicate and am a good Listener,
understanding or trying to understand most topics,
I am more sexual,
more exploratory than he is,
but not pushy.
I cannot understand, and he either does not know or is holding back..

Being married for 25 years, i would like that to grow. I have not nor ever wanted the easy way out. But this is pushing me towards that door. It may have been smacking me in the face, but something or someone has to give.

[rhiannon34]

The only thing I can really think of here is that he has some type of intimacy problem or other emotional problem, which keeps him from wanting to be close to you. The only real solution to that is therapy.

[Olympia]

Pretzel......

I hope my comments weren't being misunderstood.

I may have been looking for the cause as being me. (elaborating a bit) ...*Sigh*....
And thank you for understanding the friend/vm, thing...... friend !

[pretzel]

Welcome,

And if I may add, you are not the cause of this.

[stressed]

This situation is far too one-sided to last.

He has repeatedly cheated on you --> you accepted it.

He masturbates/watches porn but doesn't allow you to masturbate, or use toys, or turn to cybersex.

He doesn't seem willing to have sex with you, but this can be caused by a thousand different reasons that you cannot just guess. He has to tell you. But he doesn't.

If I were you and didn't want a divorce, I'd have an affair. You are not his possession and you are missing out an important aspect of life.

[Olympia]

W.C..
Reading again what you wrote, (how you wrote it).....Made alot of sense. Sometimes i tend to jumble together thoughts and go off on a bit of a tangent. I think i am a much better listener, than a communicator...
I wish that we had a common ground on an entirely different topic. Something lighter and humorous...Eh..? Many thanks, W.C. You are the Bee's Knee's..!