[mashakes]

my husband and i have been fighting about this for months now and I don't know what to do. he complains that i don't expose my body to him enough, that when we got married i promised my body to him. Our sex life is good but he is fighting about the fact that I don't model my naked body for him. it is just something that does not naturally for me. I feel that if he wants to see my body then why does'nt he do it in bed when we are having sex instead of me prancing around naked. because it is someting he wants why can he not put the light on when I am naked in bed and have his fill. This has become a major issue and i just cant understand it. we have been married for 12 years and have 2 kids. Am I wrong for sayiny to him that this is just not in my nature?

[ocularone]

Logistically speaking it doesn't even sound like it would work out the way he has it in his mind? I'm not really certain i understand where he is coming from either. Does he want you to cook breakfast or fold laundry in your birthday suit? You have 2 children at home so it doesn't seem possible to just let it all hang out. Also it doesn't sound like you have any problem with your husband viewing your body or you being naked in front of him, there is just a time and place for such a thing. Maybe you could invite him to shower with you in the mornings? Sorry i can't be of much help..i especially don't understand why this has become such a major issue to him if you are both being sexually satisfied

[Ashlee T.]

There are some people that no matter what they have they want more. They will always find something to complain about...and then feel very powerful when they see you conforming. Maybe he's one of these people.

My ex used to complain if I peed with the bathroom door shut. I should be more "comfortable" with him. So, I started peeing with door open. Then he complained because I wore thongs...and he thought I'd look sexier in a pair of white regular panties. So I bought regular panties. Then he complained because I shaved down there, and he thought I would look more "womanly" if I let my hair grow natural down there. So I let my hair grow..ICK.... I could seriously go on and on.

I guess because his complaint seems a little out there, I'm wondering if perhaps he's just looking for reasons to complain and see if you'll conform. Do you typically conform?

[PandaPaws]

How does he expect you to walk around naked with 2 kids around the house?? I agree on the shower thing, there's some naked time for you

[Allie602]

I think your compromise about keeping the lights on while you are having sex is a good one. Taking a shower together is a great idea. Making this a major bone of contention in an otherwise good relationship seems a bit much. Thats why I think there may be other issues that are bothering him and he is not able to tell you.

I would sit him down to discuss this issue but establish some ground rules before you start: only one person can talk at a time, the other has to listen, really hear what the other person is saying about their feelings, agree not to blame each other or get angry. If things get heated, take a break and then come back and continue.

It's not about sex it's love and intimacy and each person needs to be sensitive to needs and limitations of the other. If one person is required to act out fantasies regardless of how they feel then it's just sex then the actee may feel used by the other. At any rate, try to be patient and open with him if there is more to the story you may be able to find out if you listen attentively. Ask him if there is anything that his is concerned about.

Try to resolve this once and for all, you give a little and he does too. After the agreement, he should not bring it up again. Another thing you may want to do is to write down all of the good things you and your hubby do that makes each feel loved. Also write down things that you are not getting but would make you both feel loved. Sometimes cataloging the good things in the relationship brings things back to reality. And finding out how your partner feels love will help you to understand them better and try to do things that mean love to them.

If you think of anything else you can do that would be comfortable for you but would involve limited nudity? One thing that you have to make clear to him, you have a right to do what you are comfortable doing, but you are willing to compromise and he must respect your wishes.

You will read allot of post about men not getting the frequency of sex they would like is this and issue with you two? BD mentioned that sometimes one partner does not appreciate what they have and concentrate on what they don't have. It may be helpful to point out to him about the satisfaction you are having with your sex lives at this point. It bears keeping in mind that many times sex spirals down if conflicts are not resolved especially when demands are involved. The person being pressured may want less sex to avoid conflict. So it is important to get this resolved once and for all, when it is no mention of complaints need be mentioned again.

I am certain there are things you would like in your marriage but you are willing to let it go and be grateful for what you have. If everything else is good with your sex lives then I think he may be taking what you both have for granted.

[jns]

mashakes, did he get to see more of you at a previous time in your relationship, such as before marriage or maybe for a while after getting married? You may have to remind your husband that with two kids, you cannot do things the same way.

[SaharaJim]

So your husband wants to "see" more of your body ; naked, ....He finds you attractive, desirable, sexy....and this is a "bad" thing how exactly? OK you have limits with children and family...you can't take pleasure in teasing him with a "flash" of an intitmate body part when no one else is paying attention? Fun to drive him "crazy" with desire? I just don't see this as a "bad thing" BUT RATHER AS AN OPPORTUNITY to tease and tempt your significant other.