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  • heatherswar
    Member
    • Jul 2010
    • 93

    I'm not thinking as drastic as surgery. I just wanted some reassurance that after we decide to start a family that the female body as a whole would still be sexy and attractive, and possibly even think wow what an incredible woman who can go through all that for us as a family. I think I am just getting nervous about the thought of being parents in general, but to not be attractive to the man I am so in love with is a horror to me. That I would be almost alone so to speak, he would still have his amazing body and here I am, after giving birth and in pain, tired looking, and still chubby with the after birth belly. I think I over think and over analyze, literally, EVERY situation that comes my way. Lol.

    Comment

    • Mes T
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 2678

      Heh. Well, this certainly sounds like one of them. How 'bout ya go with the flow with this one and worry about it after you actually give birth.

      Comment

      • heatherswar
        Member
        • Jul 2010
        • 93

        He is somewhat aware of my fears with becoming pregnant and how it is going to happen to my body during and after pregnancy, and he is really great about the insecurities that I have with this. We actually have a really good diet and we both are very into our physical health. When we were talking about wanting to have a baby and I addressed my concerns he said the cutest and sweetest thing to me, "We both just have to be very good with our diet and we can get you into a pilates class for pregnant woman! Don't worry babe, you won't have anything to worry about!" I just loved how he was able to be so caring and put me at ease about my concerns. I just have hidden deep down the idea that men might think oddly about mothers. Lol. I'll try to go with the flow as Mes_T says. I'll do my best : )

        Comment

        • Texinator
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2009
          • 5556

          It's more dependent on the man than on the woman. A good man is going to find the mother of his child just as or even more attractive. He'll understand that pregnancy and childbirth will change her body some but that these changes don't take away from the worth of her body. A superficial man, on the other hand...

          Comment

          • Mes T
            Veteran Member
            • Oct 2009
            • 2678

            Hey pilates is a great idea.

            I've seen moms who don't look any different before and after having kids. A lot of moms DO change, but I think that has more to do with mentality, like, "Ohh I'm a mom now, I don't have time now to take care of myself in any way because of all the time needed for my children."

            If you take care of yourself just like you do now, your body won't have any excuses to look too different.

            Comment

            • jns
              Assistant Admin
              • Mar 2010
              • 8398

              Originally posted by WildChild
              I nursed my kids for over three years each.
              Nursing, especially nursing several years, will help in weight control while still nursing since the nutrition for the milk has to come from the mother's body. It will also keep her immune system in high gear. Of course there are many other pluses and a few minuses to nursing.
              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
              ...
              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

              Comment

              • mr.mansview
                Veteran Member
                • Aug 2007
                • 1173

                if he's a real man he will
                a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

                Comment

                • hizenberg
                  Senior Member
                  • Aug 2010
                  • 120

                  Think of each little stretch mark and/or scar as a medal of the pregnancy,labour,and being a mum.Trust me, i have 1 child and yeah ther are days i think of how much i took my old body for granted as it was flawless (as in no stretch marks,) in my eyes now, but as i take time to look at my beautiful little angel i can not imagine a life without her,the way she looks up to me and i see the love she has for me i'd take a million more stretch marks for her. Unfortunatley some women cant have kids naturalley ,i think you should see it as a blessing you can.
                  Having a child has made me more grounded,i still have my moments but that changes when i hear the words 'mummy'and i see her smiling face. i think your man will love you all the more if he is a mature and loving guy.

                  Comment

                  • Little.Chuck
                    Veteran Member
                    • May 2010
                    • 1392

                    You shouldnt worry about your body, If you want a baby, go for it. You have the rest of your life afterwards to lose any extra weight. I think the main fear for me would be looking bad down there. The weight gain not so much. I can excercise. I wouldnt turn to surgery to fix me though. I think I would stick with good old BioOil. My fears wouldnt stop me from having a baby if I wanted one.

                    Comment

                    • Texinator
                      Veteran Member
                      • Sep 2009
                      • 5556

                      A vagina doesn't grow teeth and horns after a baby has passed through there, you know.

                      Comment

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