[sourpuss]

Sounds like you've been really honest with yourself. That's great. Kudos to you for trying to think of his feelings and his situation, that says a lot about you. But at the end of the day, he's the one that messed up and you don't owe him anything. He's not going to commit suicide, he's just saying that to get the reaction that he did. If this other woman was important enough to cheat on his wife with, then she can support him until he finds a job.

You've accepted what has happened and been honest with your heart and mind. You've moved on, you don't owe him anything at this point. If you want him out, then tell him. The longer he's there and living off you, the more he's going to think that he can change your mind.