[melissa_rbts]

Is it too late for you to re-think that?

Nope, We were thinking we'd better get a move on.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't think you are picking on him and I greatly appreciate your saying what you think. I'm not worried about this. I just get this depressed feeling every time a think about it. I want to give him and give this some time. And it turns out he was right about that pill thing. I'm sure I know he didn't want to be a professional doctor. He just never rests until he gets what he likes. Be it trying to get license ranging from motorbikes to light aircraft or learning to speak French and Spanish when he's never set foot in either country.

I feel I did some cheating on my part. I did promise him I'd quit and I didn't.

Hey sweet.

So you have a perfectionist. He has to be right all the time right?

You have someone whom needs to excel in life right?

The Doctor thing didn't happen but now he wants to learn languages for instance and know it inside out.

I wonder in his family never thought he was worthy and he is still competing for their acceptance? Do you know much about his up-bringing?

I had a boyfriend at 16. Your man reminds me of him, only he was worse

One thing that comes to mind here is, control. It appears to me, that he hit you because you made a promise, didn't keep it, dis-respected him (in his mind), went against him, ( in his mind) and he's showing you, who the boss is. Does that make sense?

This still stems down to all that everyone has stated. He "chose" to hit you to get his point across. I think that his point was what I have written above.. I could almost see ahead here, when your married " You are my wife, you will do as your told"...

I so hope I am wrong in that regard.

The only way you will know, is to disagree with "something" he says he prefers and see how he acts on it...

I don't expect him to hit you, but I do expect him to be authoritarian over it and almost to the point of insisting you do what he says..

If that is what happens, you really may be in love, love the idea of someone showing you "love" guiding you, making you feel they are superior, know better, therefore, you honor him.. But, trust me when I tell you that it is not that, it's control.. The "type" of person that person is, is someone who will blind you in love, in control.

CW

[angel wings]

The thing is he did it to you, when he had absolutely no right to.....and it is controlling.......and im sorry but he had no right to snap you out of anything, you have the right to make your own decisions whether he agrees with them or not......i have seen this before, my sister had a bf who did exactly the same sort of stuff and everytime she was hurt more physically and of course emotionally and the same with my mother........im not saying he is going to do it to you again and i hope for your sake he doesnt, but the thing is he had no right to hit you in the first place.

[melissa_rbts]

Hey sweet.

So you have a perfectionist. He has to be right all the time right?

CW

I have a man who wants to be doing something all the time, constantly learning.. He's not Mr. always right though.

You have someone whom needs to excel in life right?

Isn't that the point?

I wonder in his family never thought he was worthy and he is still competing for their acceptance? Do you know much about his up-bringing?

Unlikely. He's got a mother and a father and 2 sisters. They're close really. Always calling each other. And they are really nice people.

Anyway, like I said before, no, he's never exhibited a "control streak" like that before. That's why I was rather worried when he slapped me that day. I was like What in the World just Happened??? We've had our disagreements in the past. About his "preferences" and mine. When that happened we talked (He hardly ever raises his voice and I reciprocate). He's always been like that except for that one unimaginable, irretrievable moment. He is back to normal now. Normal as he's been for almost 10 years. I'm not worried anymore, assured that was one time.

Your boyfriend-at-16... what exactly do you mean worse?