[kaylar]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"]

from me."

Then you've walked into something with your eyes

[kaylar]

You Didn't Know He Was Married?


If you live in one place and he is a travelor,
away for X months of a year on business,
then your assumption he doesn't have another
woman somewhere else is not as pathetic as
if you both live in the same place.

The fact he travels from New York to Los Angeles
every other week and spends a week or two,
might not be all that suspicious at the outset.
But that he never suggests you come along,
that should send up flares.

There is no excuse why you can not travel
with him.

After all, he does sleep at some point, he
does have a room at some hotel where he
showers and changes his clothing, and just
like any man who leaves the house to go to
work at eight a.m. and returns at six p.m.
so too would be his schedule when he's
in another city.

Hence, the same time you spend together
when he's in New York going to the office
is the same time you would have to spend
together if you were staying at a hotel
in L.A. while he did his business.

So the woman in New York who is involved
with such a man is a fool if she continues
the relationship.

She must know, in her mind, that the reason
he doesn't take her with him on his travels
is because he has someone else at the other
end of the journey.

So if you are in such a relationship, it is
pretty likely if you aren't married to him,
that you are the Other Woman.

[kaylar]

You Really Really Didn't Know?


Joan and Bill resided in Orlando. He claimed he lived
with his sick mother.

The relationship between Joan and Bill was that he'd
come to her flat from five to seven each week day.

Joan made him dinner, they ate, usually had sex, then
he had to go to his sick mother.

Weekends were rare. Occasional Saturdays,
Some Sunday mornings.

This relationship went on for some time.

Then, one day, she saw Bill with a woman
about his age with four children.

Later, when she confronted him and he said something
about the woman being his 'sister'.

Joan wanted to believe him.

Bill began to weave stories about how his sister
had left an abusive husband with her children
and had recently come to live with him and his
mother.

Joan forced herself to believe him. But deep down
she knew. She knew.
She began to spy on Bill.

One day, she followed Bill and his 'sister and her children'
to the zoo where she heard the children call him 'Daddy.'

The next time she saw him, she confronted him, with
the 'Daddy' thing. He was very angry that she had
spied on him, and went on and on, attacking her, ending
up with an angry that 'the kids want to pretend, in public,
that he was their father.'

The story goes on, but the key feature is that Joan didn't
want to know he was married.

She took the 'live with mother' crap, and the
'sister' crap because deep down she knew he
was married, but believed if she didn't admit it,
it would not be true.

The story comes to the usual dramatic end, but
the point of interest, is why she lied to herself.

Why didn't she go to his house to see his 'mother?'
At least phone?

In the early stages of the affair, when the stories
were new, she ought have tested them. But she
didn't.

She didn't, because deep down she knew that he
was lying but deluded herself. If she didn't know
for a fact he was married, then he wasn't married.

So she allowed herself to be used.

[kaylar]

Married...but!


Linda meets Sol. He's sad, lonely, and married.
But his marriage has been over for sometime.

He hasn't divorced his wife because;

a) children
b) property
c) her precarious mental condition
d) other reason

He is so loving and romantic, Linda is swept off
her feet. No man has ever tried so hard to please
her.

The affair begins.

"Give me time to get a divorce," he begs.

Oh he loves her!

He tells Linda how much he loves her, esp.when
she goes down on him and swallows.

He loves her! Linda is sure because he always
remembers her birthday, their 'annivesary' ,
Xmas....

Sometimes he complains about his wife and how
he wished he didn't have to go home.

Sometimes he talks about how much he loves
his kids and doesn't want them to grow up
without a father.

Linda believes every word out of his mouth.

Time passes.

The divorce seems no closer, and when she
says something about breaking up with him,
he cries like a baby, or says he'd kill himself,
some dramatics of mega proportions.

Time passes.

Divorce is no longer mentioned. It has become
a taboo subject.

"Stop nagging me!"
"I'm doing my best!"

Time continues to pass.

[kaylar]

A few little tips.....


Actors play roles.
*****s play roles.
Unfaithful husbands play roles.

Most philanderers love what they are doing.
They love having a wife and a girlfriend.
They adore being such 'manly' men!

They will do anything to seduce the Other Woman
and keep her hanging on. The wife, well, he already
has her. As long as he has her, he'll have the Other
Woman. The day wife decides to leave, he will dump
the other woman.

Cheaters will do anything, just like any *****, to
insure that the Other Woman stays in her place.

And his main weapons are lies/tricks/promises.

[kaylar]

How did it begin?


Where did you meet him?
When did he make you know he was married?
When did he make that first date with you?
When were you swept off your feet?

Many men who wish to have affairs put themselves
into the 'pre-adultery' mode.

For example; Take the average married man who is
not looking for an affair.

He leaves home for work at 8 am, he arrives at work,
he works, maybe he eats at his desk. He leaves work
at 5 pm, arrives home and is in for the duration.

Not many places to meet women save at work.
And usually the relationships are friendly business kinds.

Now let's take the guy in pre-adultery.

He leaves home for work, but makes a stop or two at
popular places, looking around to see the 'selections'.

He spends his 'working' day more on the prowl then
on his paid labour and always goes out for lunch at
popular places.

He calls his wife to say he's working late, but leaves
early and hits a few places just to survey the terrain
of clubs.

He comes home a little late, changes and has to go
out again. He goes to these clubs, looking.

He is looking for an affair.
The female is not important.
As long as she's breathing she qualifies.

He knows what he wants.
He can play the role of sensitive, after all he's
married, he's been trained. He has it all down.
The expressions, the tone of voice, the words.

Any woman he attracts is fine. It is 'first water
wash'.

As she might have second thoughts, he doesn't
allow her to think. He wants her to feel dazzled
and overwhelmed. If he doesn't get her to bed
now, he'll make an 'ify' kind of date.

He will do anything to get her into bed. Say anything,
buy anything, do anything, promise anything. He
doesn't care if it's a one night stand, he's going to
screw her.

He is going to screw this stranger because he wants to
be unfaithful to his wife to 'fix' her.

If you are intelligent, you think...

what would a married man be doing at a Singles
Club?
A bar?
A Mixer?
How did he come to be here when he should be home?

If he wanted to drink, he could go to one of
those dark men's places, where guys sit around
their liquour in their own little worlds.

So it wasn't the drink.

If he was unhappy about his marriage, why is
he dancing a storm in a wild place?

Match where he is to what he is, and ask yourself,
what is he doing there?

[kaylar]

Playing You


You meet him at a place as I mentioned above.
He tells you about his miserable marriage.
Maybe does a bit of wife bashing.

You should be out the door before he completes
the second sentence. Why? Because he's in
the club looking for an Other Woman.

You accidentally keep bumping into him at the
Park or a lunch counter or the supermarket.
Gets kind of strange.

You actually hope to see him when you go out.
This is a bad sign.

He's playing you and you don't know it.

Unless you realise it, he will screw you.
And then you will be screwed.

Everyone hates the Other Woman.
They hate her for trying to take another Woman's
man. They hate her for being cheap. Everyone
wants to see her get dropped.

Everyone knows.
His friends know who you are.
And they know exactly what he does with you.

A man can't brag about what he did with his wife.
I mean, that is His Wife. But he can give blow by
blow with his gal.

And you think he loves you.

[kaylar]

Excuses


Let's look at all the reasons he gives why....

Firstly, Divorce is no biggie. This isn't 100 years ago.
Getting a divorce is no problem.
Why hasn't he gotten one?

Secondly, Children. If he cared so much about his
kids, why is he with you? Why isn't he home with
them?

Thirdly, Poor Wife. In most cases the poor wife is
so much better off than he is it's hysterically funny.
If you don't believe this, meet her.

**
A high powered attorney's husband was having an
affair with a gal who worked in a fast food joint.
He had told the gal that his wife had a nervous
breakdown...yada yada boom.

The gal came to me for some advice, and when
she told me the name of her darling's wife I nearly
fell off my chair.

The silly gal believed everything she heard about
a woman who was being groomed to run for political
office, whose husband felt neglected so had turned
to this gal.

I told the gal to go to and see this other attorney.
She returned in tears.

Not only was the wife gorgeous, brilliant, but had
been so nice to her, (Wife no idea of the true
reason why Gal came to her chambers, and gal
didn't tell her).
**
So before you believe anything that your darling
tells you about his wife, you go and check for yourself.

[kaylar]

Lies


If his wife finds out about the affair and divorces him,
the Other Woman should consider that a slap in the face.
Why is it he who 'loves you so much' can not divorce her,
but she who 'needs him so much', (according to him) can
easily find a divorce lawyer?

In cases where his wife divorces him, be prepared for him
to NOT marry you, or Marry and Cheat on you.

Hence, a divorce from the wife's side is signal as how
little you meant to him.

In many cases the cheater wants a woman to cheat with.
To be an adulterer he needs a wife and a mistress.
That means he doesn't want his wife to leave him.

Often, when the relationship between the Husband and
the Other Woman has run its course, where he is tired
of her or has found a new Mistress, he breaks off the
relation with a lie about his wife demanding he do so.

He has told the other woman;

"Our (my wife and my) relationship has been over for
a long time."

"I stopped loving her long ago."

"I only stay with her because of...."

Yet, he can dump the O.W. like trash because that same
woman asks him to.

Huh?

Let's start again.

He said he loves you, not her.
He said he wants to leave her.
He said the marriage was over.

Then tells you (or sends a message)
that it is over because ....?

He has decided to give his marriage another try?

Is that the same marriage he told you was over
a long time?

Is it the same marriage to the woman he stopped
loving long ago?

Is it the same marriage he wants to save that he
was telling you he would dissolve?

Must be a different marriage and wife.

Or...

Everything he said to the Other Woman about his
wife and marriage, was a lie.

His was not over...his adultery might have been a
way to catch his wife's attention, pay her back for
her own adultery or for becoming too important.

He does not want to lose his wife, he prefers to
lose his girlfriend...(the same girlfriend he said he
couldn't live without).

Men lie.
They start lying the day they decide to be
unfaithful and keep lying until the wife puts
her foot down.

Many other women begin to realise that she
means nothing to him, she was just a red flag
he was waving in front of his wife...

I want Attention! he is saying.

And uses the other woman to get it from his wife.

And the O.W. thought it was a matter of time
for him to leave his wife?
Poor thing.

[kaylar]

Protecting Yourself


When you meet a man, before you become involved
check out what he has told you yourself.

Find out where he lives, and with whom.
Just happen to drop by on a Sunday Afternoon
and you'll see his actually living conditions.

Do not get involved with a man whose house you
haven't been to uninvited.

This means, any reason he gives you why you
can't have his home number, his address, anything
that can pin him down, throw in the garbage.

Walk away.

Many women get involved with married men
because they are sold a bill of goods.

This bill of goods consists of pure lies about how
he feels. How he 'loves' you or doesn't love his
wife or how the marriage is over....CRAP.

Stay away from married men.
If you think a man is married, stay away.

Never be the Other Woman.
Other Women come second.

They come after the wife and the family.
They are outside frills. Like a cherry on
a desert.

You meet a man, he's married, tell him to
call you when his divorce is final.

Any excuse why he can't divorce his wife is CRAP.

Firstly, he doesn't give rat puke about his children.
How do I know?

Why is he wasting precious moments when he could
be with his beloved children banging his Mistress?

Think about it.

If he was concerned about his children he would
be with them. Not having sex with with you.

He couldn't care less about his kids.

Daddys come home from work as early as possible
to be with their kids. Daddys don't spend the evening
banging their gals so as to arrive home long after the
beloved children have gone to bed.

Any man that tries the 'I love my kids' story, start
walking.

Then there are those who can't leave their wives
because....

If his wife found out about you, she would leave him.
So that whole argument is CRAP.

I can fill this screen with a number of men who
'couldn't leave their wives' blah blah and the
wife finds out about the Other Woman, and files a
divorce so fast his head spins.

He doesn't want the divorce, trust me here. He
does not want his wife to divorce him because then
he'd be free to marry the Other Woman.

The last person in the world he would marry is the
Other Woman. And if she somehow forces him into
marriage, he'll be unfaithful on the honeymoon.

Most recently, a fifteen year marriage ended when
the wife had enough. She wasn't even thinking about
all the gals he'd screwed during the marriage, she was
just sick of his abuse.

So she, the woman he couldn't leave, threw him out.

Did he go to one of his many girlfriends?
Of course Not!
He went to his Mother.
And he dumped every single girlfriend.

He had told Miss Monday he loved her,
told Miss Tuesday he would divorce his wife
and marry her, told Miss Wednesday no woman
ever made him feel as good as she did...
....on to Miss Sunday....whom he couldn't live
without.

So why, when his wife divorced him did he dump
his 'Week?'

He didn't want any of them. They were just ego
builders. That his wife had thrown him out...(and
gotten everything) completely destroyed his ego.

He certainly couldn't prop out his smashed ego with
gals who'd have sex with a married man, and were
so stupid as to go year to year on his lies.

"I want a woman I can respect," he said with
fervour.

So while the Other Woman waits for her beloved
to divorce his wife, because of (fill in the blanks)
she should be preparing to be dumped when this
year's new models come off the assembly line.