[kaylar]

Being Dumped


Although it is a real ego deflator, most Other Women
are Monica's...an easy screw/blow job.

Husband has a life...it consists of Wife/Family/Business
and the Other Woman is a 'hobby'.

The Other Woman has no life.
She is the plaything of Husband.

He comes and goes as he pleases with whatever
excuse he can use.
Other Woman can't make too many demands on him.

He enjoys his 'double life'.

The reason men cheat is often that his wife has
made him feel inferior.

Maybe his wife makes more money, is more important
is more popular, and the usual, she won't swallow
his cum.

Maybe his wife has become 'too old' for him. He loves
her, but she no longer has a sexy body or a sparkling
young face, and he lusts after a young body.

Whatever his reason for betraying his wife, it is most
often NOT that he fell in love with the O.W.

Many men pick women then could never love to be
their Mistress. You'll find the upper class gentlemen
swimming in the steno pool.

A man will opt down for his Mistress, looking only
for an easy lay. She's no one he would ever want
to be caught dead with in front of his friends as a
actual mate, but she's just fine in that little skirt
and see thru blouse, to show off to his pals.

She is there to satisfy his lusts. That is why she
is there. Not for love and long term, not for her
sparkling personality, but for what she does for
him in a bedroom.

As time passes and she starts to grow on him,
and grow older, he goes back to the steno pool
to look at this year's models.

He decides he wants a new experience.

Dumping the Mistress is the first order of business.

There are men who will tell the Mistress it is over,
they found someone else. These are rare.

There are men who will let the Mistress down easy.
Slowly removing himself from her ambit until the
last supper.

Then there are those who just walk away. They
never had a committment, and would be most
grateful if the mistress would evaporate.

If the Mistress tries to contact him, he puts up
buffers in the way. He doesn't want to see her.
He doesn't feel he owes her anything.

"I was always married, she knew it. She knew it
was a temporary fling."

Of course he never told her that.
Husband often tells Mistress how much he loves
her until she believes it. Of course, he never
loved her. He loved how he felt screwing her.
He loved how he felt when she pampered him.

Mr.C loved Hottie to give him foot baths and
pedicures. If he'd suggested that to Mrs. C,
he'd be picking up his teeth.

N. liked his Mistresses to get on their knees
and suck him off and swallow his cum.
Mrs. N wasn't about to do that in life or death.
John liked to take his mistress to hot clubs
and clamp a hand over her breast and walk
around like that.
He couldn't think of doing that with Mrs.John.

But, he's tired now.
Mistress bores him.
He wants someone younger.
Newer.

So he 'fires' Mistress as if she was a part time
office sweeper, and goes his way.

And never for one second does he consider that
he might of hurt her.

If told, he smiles, his ego bursting.
Yes!
He still has it!

[kaylar]

Survival


So Nate doesn't come around. Cathy is getting worried.
She expected him at six, it is seven. She can't call the
office, his cell phone is off. And she's thinking he is
lying dead in a gully.

She gets his home phone number, and the phone is
answered by a young voice.

"Is Nate Lastname there?"

"Who is this?" Snaps the voice.

"A friend..." Cathy says softly.

"Listen, is this Cathy?"

"What? Um..."

"Leave my father alone. He doesn't want to see
you any more!"

Cathy is standing in her living room holding a dead
phone.

Firstly, no one 'knew' about them.
So how did the voice...(assumption his child)
know who she was?
And that she would call?

Ten minutes later, Cathy puts down the phone,
in a complete case of shock.

She can't call any of her friends.

"I told you not to get involved with a married man!"

Would be their answer.

Cathy thinks of;
driving to his house to see if he is alright
having a friend call
calling back
but does nothing.
All night she tosses and turns.

In the morning she calls his office. The Secretary
says he's busy. She calls back. Same thing. She
calls again, asks if the Secretary gave him the
message that she called.

"He told me to tell you to stop harassing him."

Cathy goes nuts.
She cries, she screams, she is going through insanity.

She drives to the workplace and waits two hours for
him to come out. As he goes to his car, she pounces.

"Nate!"

"Hi Cathy. I meant to call you...."

"What's going on?"

"Look it's over. My wife and I have reconciled. I'd
appreciate it if you left me alone."

"Left you alone! What? You love me!"

"No I don't, and never did." He says going to open his
car door. She throws herself against it.

"Either you move away or I'll call security."

She looks into his face.
She doesn't recognise him.

Two days ago, she sucked him off, swallowed his
cum, and he said, "I love you."

Two days ago, they were happy, planning where
they would honeymoon when he was free.

How could this man tell her he'd call security.

"Talk to me, Nate, what did I do?"

"You didn't do anything. It's over. It ran its
course, it was fun while it lasted, and it's over."

He gets into his car, drives out. She follows.
After a few miles, he makes an odd turn and stops
in front of a police station.

Her cell rings.

"If you don't stop following me, I'm going in and
report that you're stalking me."

"How can you talk to me like this?"

"Cathy, let go. It's over. Try to find some dignity."

He hangs up. She sits. He drives away.

Somehow Cathy gets home, but she's crying so
hard, she's blind. Her life is over.
Her Man is gone.

Two years later, reflecting on the three horrible
months of torture ensuing after the breakup
Cathy has made the synthesis.

"I was just a good time. When I started to take
his love talk seriously, when I started to believe
he'd leave his wife for me, and we'd be married,
I think that was the end. He didn't want me, he
wanted a fantasy. As soon as I made it real..."

Nate has been unfaithful to his wife at fairly regular
intervals. His wife 'rides it out', because during his
affairs he is extremely good to her.

Everything Carole owns she got during an affair...
'Guilt Offerings' she calls them.

The summer house, in her name, was Joyce.
The Benz was Nancy.
The fur coat was Annabelle.
Cathy is going to be that trip to Aspen.

Nate treats Carole like a goddess. People are to
call her Mrs.Lastname. He will fire a maid who
uses her name. He introduces her to people as
if she is a Queen. Anyone whom he believes slights
his wife, he cuts dead.

Cathy was one in a long line of gals.

In old days, Plantation Masters would rape
slave women. Even older days, English aristocracy
had the right of the first night.

In all ancient societies there was a class of hetari.
A kind of *****/mistress. In modern societies there
is the other woman.

It took Cathy three months of hysteria, of pain and
humiliation to come to the understanding of who she
was in Nate's life.

She lived through it.

Unlike a wife who has the right to hysteria if her
husband betrays her, the Mistress has no rights.
Unlike a wife who can get the commiseration of her
family and friends, all the Mistress gets is "I told you
so."

Mistresses suffer all the pain of being dumped without
any 'legal' recourse.

Cathy's first problem was thinking that Nate was being
prevented from seeing her.

Nate had decided not to see her. He had no doubt
told his child that this stupid woman was harrassing
him and that if she calls, the script was written.
Nate had given his Secretary the same story.

So not only has Cathy been dumped, but she's a stalker.

Cathy's second problem was to differentiate bed talk
from truth.
To admit that all the 'I love yous' were lies.
It was very hard for her to accept this, but she went
back to each time he had said it as a kind of 'payment'
for her favours.

It took Cathy a long time to finally realise that Nate
was acting out fantasies on her body. That far from
loving her he was humiliating her.

Cathy became very angry and had many thoughts
of criminal intent. Fortunately, she got involved with
a Woman's Group, and worked her way through it
with others who had almost identical experiences.

Hearing another woman describe something she had
thought was limited to her and Nate opened Cathy's
eyes.

But it took three months for her to stop crying herself
to sleep.

[kaylar]

The Really Hard Part


Affairs have very similiar patterns.

It begins when the Husband puts himself into pre-adultery
mode. This is when he goes out looking for something to
just 'happen'.

He looks for something to 'happen' in places removed from
his usual haunts because he is at the 'hiding' stage.

So he'll go to a far crummier place than he'd usually enter
because he is looking for the type of girl he can get into
bed now.

He might meet a few of them, and might err in his selection
in that One won't have sex with him on the first 'date', but
most often by the second 'date' he's in bed.

Having intended to commit adultery the female is simply
breathing.

That's the first thing an Other Woman has to confront.
It is not her. It was any breathing female.
He will never admit this, save to his lawyer or psychiatrist,
but he simply wanted a screw that he didn't have to pay
for.
The fact he can get more screws he doesn't have to pay
for elevates the one night stand into the mistress.

Where one meets the Husband and under what circumstances
sets the tone.

Why was he in Fatty's Bar? Or Donald's Dive?
What was he doing at that Party, alone?

The second thing that one has to realise is as soon as the
word Love is used, it should be followed by a Divorce of
his wife.

If he does not attend a lawyer's office within two weeks
of his use of the word 'Love', he DOES NOT mean it.
He is using the word in its most benign form.

Hence, he doesn't love you.
If he did, he would divorce his wife and marry you.
Even if you were unable to marry him now, he would
divorce her anyway, if he loved you, because he would
not want to be with her.

The third thing an O.W. must never lose sight of is that
he has absolutely no commitment to her or any child.
He can walk away.
She will have to pursue with litigation.

If he does not take out an insurance policy or create
a trust fund, or do anything to protect the child he
claims to love just in case he dies tonight, he has no
commitment to that child.

Words are cheap.

Don't listen to what he says, watch what he does.

The same man who babbles about love in bed is the same
one who will demand you take a DNA test to 'prove' it is
his.

Never cry over a departing Husband.
When, (not if) he dumps you, don't make more of a
fool of yourself than you already have.

[kaylar]

Hated


Besides his family hating and scorning the Other Woman,
(and everyone who knows about it adding their two cents),
sits the hysterically funny or (hysterically pathetic) 'version'
the Other Woman has of the Relationship.

The most glaring error O.W. make is that they don't realise
they are unaware of the whole story. They only know what
lies the husband told them.

Now a man who would be unfaithful to his wife is dishonest.
He is a cheater. So how can anyone believe a word out
of his mouth?

Other women do.
They are the only people stupid enough to believe him.

He can paint his wife as a succubus and his children
as wolverines, and the O.W. doesn't know that these
are lies.

He can say how they have him 'trapped', and the
pitiful O.W. doesn't see him taking them on vacation,
and enjoying every minute.

Friends of the wife who hear the O.W.'s side often
laugh out loud, because it's made of lies.

But the O.W. clings to her fantasy, because it is
all she has. She wants so badly to believe everything
he told her, that despite all evidence to the contrary,
she vehemently defends her position.

Most people know that there are two sides, sometimes
three to every story. Not the Other Woman. Everything
Hubby told her is solid truth.

She doesn't know how he ridicules her with his pals.
Describing everything that happens in the bedroom.

She doesn't know that while he's having his fantasy
with her, he's living in Reality with his wife.

Many Husbands, even when divorced, maintain the
fiction of being married to insure that the O.W. never
gets her hooks into him.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF GEORGE

Faye entered the ladies room at University to see
George's wife Tina...and nearly fainted.

George had told Faye that his wife Tina was
traveling abroad, not at this very University getting
her Masters.

George also did not tell Faye that his wife Tina
had divorced him two years ago because he couldn't
keep his pants on.

Faye tried to cover her shock, and Tina, more
aware of George's sex life than Faye would ever
know, did not mention the divorce.

Tina knew from the look on Faye's face, that she
was one of many of the George Girls.

A few months later, George, as was his habit,
dumped Faye for Connie.

To fixn him Faye confronted George's wife Tina
to reveal the sordid affair and tell her about Connie.

Tina listened, then replied;

"I divorced him two years before you nearly had your
heart attack seeing me in the loo. He wasn't married
when he was having his affair with you, and he's
not married now. But I'll bet that he's told Connie I'm
still his wife."

Poor Faye.

When she went to tell Connie, George intervened,
and the story got twisted as Faye and Connie
fighting over him.

As George didn't know whether Connie would believe
Faye or not, he dumped her too.

Connie blames Faye for ruining her relationship with
George. And they've been at war ever since.

Meanwhile George moved on to Carole.

Carole was hot and heavy with George, then ran
into George's wife Tina.

(George continually describes Tina as his wife.
Divorced over three years at Carole Season,
George is still claiming he is married to Tina.)

Carole makes a complete fool of herself.

Tina, very annoyed and being accosted by
tramps she didn't even want to look ate her,
much less talk to her, angrily contacts George,
demanding he keeps his pigs in their sty.

George took Tina's call as the wonderful
opportunity to dump Carole.

"I've reconciled with Tina." He lied smoothly.

Carole is hysterical, her life is over, and she tries
everything to get George back.

George quickly hooks up with Big Sally, who beats
the crap out of Carole.

In Court, for the first time, Carole learns that
George was divorced from Tina close on four years
ago. She also learns that she, Carole, had attacked
Big Sally with a knife and Big Sally defended herself.

With George lying for Big Sally, Carole has a few missing
teeth for her trouble.

But she still believes George loved her.

[kaylar]

Queen Of Denial


No group of women are more deluded than Other Women.

They sacrifice every generous thought society
might hold of them for affairs with another woman's
husband.

They know the man they are screwing is married.
Maybe not at first, but it doesn't take forever to
realise why he can't spend Xmas with ...or she
can't call his house.

They know, eventually, if not initially, they know
their lover is married, and they don't care.

They don't care, which is why society holds them
in such contempt. For how can a woman deliberately
seek to hurt another woman?

Other Women don't care about the wife because
they are deluded into thinking that another woman's
husband actually 'loves' them.

Another Woman's husband.
Current husband.
Not an ex-husband.
A current husband.

They actually believe this man loves them, not
his wife.

And because they are so deluded, then
don't care about the hurt they cause, or
that they may be destroying a family.

The Other Woman only cares about herself.

The Husband, who knows that any woman who
would jump into bed with him is no better than
a ***** has no respect for her.

He will say what he likes, because he knows
she is stupid. He knows she will believe what
ever he tells her.

Husband owes the Other Woman nothing, and that is
what she is going to get.

That she believes his lies, adds to the allure.
He needs someone to demean.
She's it.

Because she can not reconcile the fact she
is his good time with the passionate lies
he has told her, in the face of clear proof to
the contrary, she still ups for the lies.

She is so fixated and madly in love with this
man it is pathetic.

Nothing will dissuade her.

He can treat her anyway he wants, because
he said he loved her, it's okay.
He can dump her like garbage.
Because two weeks ago he said he loved her
she still believes he does.

She still believes he is coming back to her.
Why?

How can any woman with a whole brain
for herself believe anything that a philandering
spouse says?

Because she wants to.

[kaylar]

Queen Of Denial 2


To get a gal into bed a man has to be pretty
convincing. Unless he's met someone who
is down for a screw, many women are looking
for 'relationships.'

To screw a woman who asks no questions
is not the kick. No more than paying a
prostitute builds a man's ego.

What he wants is a 'love slave.' He wants
a woman who will worship him.

His wife, who knows him, who is his equal
can never be a love slave. To demean her
is to demean himself and his children.

He needs someone who will boost his ego.
And this takes work.

Men put as much effort into getting a
Mistress as they did in Courtship.

Just as he did whatever the woman of his
dreams demanded to get her to marry him,
he does the same 'courtship dance' with
his Mistress.

The point of the 'affair' is not really meaningless
sex. The point is worship. The point is an ego
charge. The point is to make him feel superior.

To get the Other Woman to fall in love with him
he will do anything. It doesn't matter. He knows
what he wants. It is a game.

He will dazzle her, he will make her believe he loves
her. When he succeeds, the Other Woman forgets
that she's a fling. Forgets that he can walk out
at any time without a look back.

The Other Woman binds herself to him by her
pointless love.

And nothing anyone can say or do will deflect it.

No matter how much evidence is presented that
he is using her...it never penetrates her shield.

[kaylar]

Nothing


Being an Other Woman is jumping from
a plane without a parachute.
Wife has a parachute.

No matter how badly she suffers when
he betrays her, or at divorce time...she
has a parachute.

She is going to get a lot of his property.
She might get everything.
He can't just walk away and leave her.

He can walk away and leave the Other
Woman. Just like that.

If the O.W. has a child for him, and can
launch a custody suit, his lawyer will help
him move property into his wife and
children's names at light speed.

Mr. C. had a business.
Hottie had a baby.

From the day he left Hottie Mr. C
had his business turned into a
Company.

Each of his rightful children and
Mrs.C got a chunk, and everything,
from the car to the dog was put
into the name of the Company.

When Hottie, (who had screwed a
millionaire) got Mr. C. into Court
he was a salaried employee for
Company.

She got as much money a week time
as Mr.C used to pay for their lunch when
he was slamming her.

She still can't believe that Mr. C never
loved her.

If you talk to Hottie for over ten minutes
she will rehash events that happened a
year ago...grasping on to the lies Mr. C
told her.

Why did he lie to Hottie?
It was how he controlled her.

[kaylar]

Step Away From Lover


One of the things other women need to learn is that
when the husband dumps them, they are to stay far
from him, his wife, his home, his business, his children.

Many ex-mistresses have gone to the hospital or
to jail, or to the cemetary because they did not
understand this.

Many ex-mistresses are so deluded that they continue
to believe DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY that
the husband really 'loves' them.

It is impossible, at least for the first year after the
breakup for an O.W. to realise that;
1) Husband NEVER LOVED her
2) Husband USED her
3) Husband now DESPISES her for trying to break
up his marriage.

(3)is usually impossible to conceive as it is not
truly logical, but having dealt with the issue for
many years, I am no longer stunned by the dripping
hatred the husband has for his ex-mistress. Hatred
so far beyond that his wife ever felt.

Husband blames the Mistress for trying to ruin his
marriage as if she kidnapped him and forced him
to have sex with her.

Forget all the gooey "I love you", forget all the
fun and smiles, he has. All he clings to is that
this ***** pushed herself into his marriage, tried
to break it up, failed and now won't leave him
alone.

There are many cases of women suffering great
hardship which can be traced to the husband.

Whether he gets her fired from her job, evicted
from her premises, whether he physically assaults
her or has another do it...(and the number of new
mistresses who beat the crap out of old mistresses
makes up the majority of ex-mistresses who are
assaulted. It is rarely the wife who does this.)

One morning, Carla opened her door to a strange
woman with two gentlemen beside her.
The two gentlemen grabbed her arms and the
strange woman began hitting her repeatedly
in the face with a heavy duty flashlight encased
in rubber.

They then stripped her naked and left her on her
doorstep.

Carla could not identify the woman or the attackers.
She spent two weeks in the hospital.

Husband and wife had, at the time of the assault,
been in a police station getting various licences
which took most of the day.

They were seen by dozens of police officers.

Who was the attacker?
The New O.W. and her brothers.

Carla never fully recovered from the beating.
And there was no way she could connect it
to the husband.

That the week before the beating she had gone
to the husband's work place to demand money
was the reason.

All Husband had to do was tell the idiot he was
currently slamming, and the idiot who loved him
so much was willing to do this.

[kaylar]

The Power Of Fantasy


When a marriage breaks down, whether a divorce or
simply one spouse leaving; the fact there had been
a 'reality' allows a kind of 'logical' closure.

At some point this man loved this woman and married
her. They lived together. She knew his family, his
thoughts, his truth.

She was part of his life.
They lived together, they bought furniture, food,
argued over little things, had children, there was
a real relationship that everyone knew about.

She was Mrs. Him. She had rights.
Society respected those rights.

Now the marriage has ended.
The divorce has been obtained, or he has
run off because he can't deal with whatever.

She knows that at one point their love was real.
At one point her life, her relationship was real.

The Other Woman has nothing even remotely akin
to that reality.

The Other Woman knows absolutely nothing at all
beyond WHAT HE TELLS HER.

This can never be ignored. It is the centrepiece.
She knows NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT HE TELLS HER.

Because the Other Woman is not the wife, because
she has no 'hold' on him, because she has plunged
into a relationship that began, is, will be, and end
as fraud, she creates her own reality.

He tells her he is going to be out of town on
business and will call her.

She doesn't know that he and his wife are going
on holiday.

While the wife is on the patio with friends he calls
the Other Woman from the bathroom, and pretends
he's working. He gets hard knowing that the fool
believes him. He enjoys this, and returns to the patio
with a big grin on his face and kisses his wife.

The Other Woman doesn't know he's taking his
wife to a fancy dinner. He's told her that he's
turning in early because he doesn't feel well.

He tells the Other Woman that his wife is a mental
case. The Other Woman doesn't know the Wife is
getting a Masters in Biology.

He tells the Other Woman that he is worried about
his children. His children play so little part in his
life he scarcely remembers their names.

He tells the Other Woman how he loves her.
In fact, he doesn't even like her.

He never discusses what is important to him
with her, she has no idea what he truely thinks
about anything. He tells her what he wants her
to know. When he walks into her house he puts
on his fantasy persona, and plays his role until
it's time to be himself again.

Hence, everything she thinks she 'knows' about
him is a lie. It is a deliberate crafted lie.

When he leaves the Other Woman, she has nothing
to hang on to but lies. Lies that he cares if she lives
or dies.

It never dawns on her that when he dumps her, if
she were to die, he wouldn't even come to the
funeral.

If never dawns on the Other woman, during the months
she dreams of him, that if she were to be injured and
lying in a gully, she couldn't call him for help.

The Other Woman keeps believing the fantasies,
keeps holding on to the belief he will 'come back to her',
never realising that he was never with her.

[kaylar]

Example of Delusion


Imagine you are going to buy a car.
A nice man named Johnny Smith hops up,
tells you all about his car. Tells you where
he lives, how long he had the car, where
he drove, and why he needs to sell it.

The price is good, and Johnny is putting
no pressure on you.

He shows you the papers, and takes you
for a drive around the block, and you like
the car, you like him, and you pay over your
life savings.

He gives you his phone number just in case
anything goes wrong, and you drive away,
quite happy with your bargain.

Two days later the police stop you and
arrest you for driving a stolen car.

Oh no you say happily, that's not true.
You tell them how you bought it from
Johnny, and show them the papers.

They keep insisting it is stolen, and you
dial the number Johnny gave you and
there is no answer.

You go downtown with the Police who
are convinced the car is stolen. But you
know you got it legally.

Johnny's phone keeps ringing without an
answer, tho.

You go home without the car, so sure the
police have made a mistake.

That is because, you, like the Other Woman
don't begin to know the truth.

You were never there when Johnny, (whose real
name is Robbie Robem) paid Ricky Ripoff to steal
the car from the parking garage.

You were never there when Ricky brought the
car to Robbie and was paid.

You weren't there when Freddie Forgey did
up the papers, nor saw how much Robbie paid
him.

You didn't even notice Sammy Slimeboy who
virtually arranged the meeting between you
and 'Johnny.'

All you know about anything is what 'Johnny'
told you.

You go to the address he gave you and find
Mr. & Mrs. Oldpeopleski, who have lived there
since just after WWII, never rented to anyone
and don't know anyone fitting Johnny Smith's
description.

The phone number that Johnny Smith gave you
was never assigned to anyone.

Yet, you try so hard to tell yourself that you
didn't give a con man your life's savings and
that you'll get back the car.

That is the position the Other Woman is in.

She has no guess what the Husband told the Wife.
Only what he tells her he told his wife.

Her entire 'reality' is a pure delusion, made up of
lies and tricks which, like Johnny Smith's ruse,
were done to simply get what he wanted.

Like you, the Other Woman sticks in the delusion
that she knows the 'truth'.

You are sure the car is legitimate. You are sure
it isn't stolen. You don't believe the police. Not
until the last moment, after you've made a complete
fool of yourself, do you begin to appreciate the papers
you hold so proudly are forgeries, and the pretty blue
car you bought is actually white and was duco'd by
Johnny's pal Danny to hide it that bit longer.