[lizzardb63]

The only thing that I am doubtful about is that he said he wouldn't do it again. He also said he wouldn't look at teen porn anymore...and he did. If he did it once, he will most likely do it again, especially if he has a history of hiding things from you.

[jr]

A man's perspective:

1. He cheated on you.

2. You talking to him about various issues over time hasn't worked....period.

3. You both need counseling individually and/or together to work on the obvious challenges that you face.

[rcoreyus]

Does he do sexy web-chats with you? Have you ever tried?

I wouldn't be too concerned about the porn, but the interaction with other real women is something to worry about.

[Danyell]

we used to do the web chat thing together before the porn got out of hand. We did sex cam once while he was gone. about the same time as he was with the other women. (the other women... never thought i would say something like that )
We have a counselling appointment next Wednesday. I pray it guides us in the right direction. I pray he'll go! Thank you all for your thoughts.

[WildChild]

Praying won't get him there. Tell him you now know what his word is worth, if he doesn't show you will be seriously re-evaluating the relationship and making your own arrangements.

[tooconfused4words]

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
Theodore M. Hesburgh

He is not a good father...nor is any man like him. Making the mother of his children miserable makes him a bad father.

[Danyell]

We had another long talk. He said he would go to counselling with me. He said several things that made me feel he understands what he did now and he will do anything to make this work. Time will tell if I am an idiot blinded by love or if maybe he actually gets it this time.

[lizzardb63]

Good luck Danyell!

[stressed]

Web-camming is probably an alternative form of porn to him, which like BD said, escalated because you allowed porn. The more he watched the more he wanted so now he finds it hard to stop.
Ideas:

- Counseling
- Cut off internet connection for a couple of months.
- Check daily whether he watched or not and tell him about it, he'll eventually get tired of getting 'caught' and feel embarrassed.

Otherwise you'll go crazy.
(btw, the third option worked for me).

[jr]

Remember....

(We) men need the dots put real close together in order to see the line, we need a short "leash" and a "clear" line drawn in the sand. We can't read your mind and we get defensive/clam up quickly/get real stubborn if we feel we're being attacked.....even by the woman we love.

So keep the leash short, the dots close and the line drawn as to where he stands....daily...and he'll get it if he wants to.

Keep your chin up, hold your head up high...this is not about you. It's about HIM and US (you and him together, not you alone).

I wish you much patience, understanding and success at resolving the issues you face.