[CHANDLERS WISH]

WT am I talking about?

So, for 3 nights in a row he stayed out till 8-9-10 in the morning. I knew somthing had to be up ..i drillrd it outta him...then he finnally admitted that

he slept with his ex and was doing crack coke drinking..day in night

.

3 more months go by and he has another breakdown....this time he goes to the city for 4 days and dosent come home. he was staying with him mom....but the very first night his lady friend comes over and him and her get high off crack coke weed loratabe herowin and beer....he gets (edit) up he sleeps with her.

she brought me drungs and he dosent remeber ....

So over 6 months, 3 months intervals he slept with someone else, on the last occasion, she bought him drugs, he doesn't remember, so that's two occasions you know about ..

If she bought him drugs, she more than likely used them / uses as well... If he had 3 days/nights with his ex, binging on drugs, alcohol, more than likely she used/uses as well..

So when "she" can't remember, who else does " she sleep with? "

You just said you have sex every night (now), so he has a sex drive regardless of drugs, so I am saying how do you know that one of those girls didn't have an STD? And how do you know that you don't have one? Some of them don't show for some time...

As this seems to be all you focused on in your reply to me, I hope that he hasn't hit you....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

and so the 40 toys that he buys and uses with his hand he knows will work and when you want so badly that intimacy he knows he won't go up so says you "won't like it" and moves away..

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/31077-what-can-i-say-do.html#post236374

CW goes to get another coffee.........obviously tired....... that portion obviously was to another poster, you know we can do that, still have it fresh in our mind of our last post, going on to the next, it's called 15,000 posts later...

Problem solved there.....

[JuliaBarill]

no no he had sex for like 3 days with his ex.........there was a 3 month gap i ment when he was with me..then her for 3 nights then back to me for 3 then cheated on me again ..when he wass druged up.

[JadedQueen]

LMAO CW well said!

BASICALLY Julia...
REGARDLESS of the timeline..... the point I think CW is trying to make is.... he's obviously not been very diligent in practicing safe sex AND... the women he cheated on you with aren't practicing safe sex so no matter how many months it was between infidelities.... the fact still remains that he slept with you AFTER sleeping with
1. other women
2. Other women that do drugs and probably sleep around and/or may inject their drug of choice
BOTTOM LINE.... Go to the doctor and have yourself checked for sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, Hepititus, Herpes, and while you are there have them check to see if you have a cold. SERIOUSLY.... get a full physical because if he has brough a disease home to you, letting it go untreated can have serious concequences. It can cause damage that would make it impossible to have a baby later on, HIV and Hepititus can't be cured yet, there is medication but it's a lot of medication and eventually hepititus will destroy your liver (and you aren't eligiable for a transplant if you have hepititus).

[CHANDLERS WISH]

LMAO CW well said!

BASICALLY Julia...
REGARDLESS of the timeline..... the point I think CW is trying to make is.... he's obviously not been very diligent in practicing safe sex AND... the women he cheated on you with aren't practicing safe sex so no matter how many months it was between infidelities.... the fact still remains that he slept with you AFTER sleeping with
1. other women
2. Other women that do drugs and probably sleep around and/or may inject their drug of choice

thanks....

And for clarifiying...

Julia, what she said....

And please, please, please, really read her ending....

And, again, 3rd time lucky, I hope he hasn't ever hit you...


CW

[WildChild]

Bottom line.
YOU can't change him.
Only he can change himself and that won't happen until HE sees a reason to.
In fact you may prolong the process by helping to prop him up and keep him going.
You may well be fighting a losing battle, this is a family thing, it sounds like they are all substance abusers.

CW, Jaded and others have pointed out, you need to take care of yourself. He's not going to. If you want to tie his broken down cart to your horse, that's your choice but there isn't any way it's going to pull straight or easy.

You don't have to dump him but focus on yourself, get more training and education, keep your job, keep your finances separate. DO NOT have a child with this man. DO NOT have unprotected sex with him. Do you know what hepC does to someone? It's not pretty and its painfull and very expensive and when they die the are 70 lbs and delirious.

Keep your life moving forward. It won't be easy if you insist on dragging this ball and chain around. You will need to be strong.

What are the laws in your area? Are there seizure laws? In my city if the police come in and find illegal activity, such as drugs, they can seize the property in entirety. If your area has this law you could lose everything you have. If he were staying in your parents house, they could lose their home because they knowingly allowed criminal activity. Educate yourself on the possiblities in this situation.

[WildChild]

Why do you stay?
What is good in the relationship?

[jns]

Why do you stay?
What is good in the relationship?

What indeed?

[JuliaBarill]

things have took a dramatic turn guys,,,,, i dont know whats gotten into him but...hes says he feels lost without me...whats going on.....and everyone thank you for your suppport

[WildChild]

Its usually called manipulation.