[Lovie]

i didn't want to let this go by - i really want to thank you for your kind words here. this was very encouraging.

i will probably always feel a sense of need to make up for the times i lied to my wife & let her leave the house believing i was who i told her i was - only to fire up the computer & make a fool of her, for hours. i can't describe the freedom i experience in not being chained to that cycle any more, but it still causes a great degree of guilt.

and your words are very encouraging. thanks -

You're welcome. Now get crackin' on that freelance article..... chop! chop!

[Serene]

My husband and I have been married for 4 years and we have a very open relationship in the sense of communication. In the 2nd year of our marriage or so I saw him looking at porn sites because he used to work with an older man that sex life in his marriage was over. I asked him why he started looking at porn, he said it's just curiosity. Now, at that time our sex life was not all there. I think it's just their way of getting excitement back in their mojo. I mean I've looked at porn and at some point it turned me on to want to have sex w my hubby and it helped things. So, in a way yes porn is annoying but it's there and men will always look at porn. I think using it to my advantage and not making it a big deal is what helped my hubby forget the porn...

[kellylg21]

my husband and i have been married for 5 years now and i really never cared about him looking at porn or whatever until lately he doesnt have sex with me and then i see it on the computer in the history and he lies to me about it he had to go out of town for 6 weeks and he wouldnt even have sex with me before then but we have a dirty movie that we have never seen before and i went to look for it just curious if it was still there and sure enough it is MIA. so i asked him about it and he says his favorite words"I DONT KNOW"(response for everything i ask him) oh well i am just wondering what is going through his head right now because i hate to say it but if he dont start putting out then ill go somewhere else i have asked him lots of times to have sex with me but he is always tired(and i dont do anything but take care of 3 kids,cook,clean and everything elase around the house....

[Guest]

i have asked him lots of times to have sex with me but he is always tired

this is exactly why it's so dangerous to watch porn. as hotdogg has explained, porn offers an easy, no-work release. sex is work; porn is no work.

i'm sorry you're going through that.

[skkyblue24]

i need help to i am new to this site to we have been engaed for two years we have a child.....well one time his phone was going off and i was calling his name he wasnt answering so i went up stairs and walked in on him in the middle of it he told me to get out ....then i started checking the history on the computer everytime he had the house to himself there would be tons of porn sites on the comp...he dined it telling me it wasnt him i was like ya ok then i just blew it off untill recently i went to do the laundry i come home the door is locked and theres a bucket in front of the door i was like you have to be kidding me so i run to were the comp is and he is pulling up his pants and he didnt finish clicking off all the sites that same day i go out to drop our child off at the grandparents and i knew he had to go to work and i wanted to see him before he left so i rushed home and walked in on him again and he yells at me i was like i dont think so i ****ed off at him ya he slept on the coach for two nights...then yesterday i get off of work early go home the top and bottom lock is on well i open the squeeky door and low and be hold he is on the coach playing with himself watching porn....then he tells me y cant u just let me do it i was like no.....i am ready to take the porn with me and take the the internet connection with me

[christinacr]

Porn is just that-porn, try not to take it personally

I have been married for 9 years, and my husband has always been into porn- or at least I found out he was into internet porn about 4 years ago. He just likes looking at women-he especially is into breasts. Even before we had a baby and were having sex once a week if that, he was into porn. When I did find out by checking the history on our computer I was initially devastated and looked at it like cheating as well. It was very hard for me. He assured me he would stop looking, but he didn't stop. It made me feel very inadequate. It surprised me because he is such a good husband and I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me equally. I finally have come to terms with it. It's his way of escaping. I like to shop, he likes to look at porn. The way I see it- he can look all he wants, he just can't touch. Occasionally I'll make fun of him, and he gets all sheepish. It's funny. I know it's hard, and it may take time, but try not to take it personally. And just because he looks at internet porn, or any type of porn does not mean he will cheat. He's a man, it's not his fault. Try to be patient. Surprise him and take pictures of yourself and put them on the computer for him to look at. I did that once and he loved it!

[hotdogg]

you should never feel like they watch porn because they are not attracted to YOU! men just like to view a sexual act, thats why porn tends to focus mainly on the genital areas.

[Guest]

you should never feel like they watch porn because they are not attracted to YOU! men just like to view a sexual act, thats why porn tends to focus mainly on the genital areas.

why not just look at instructional books at barnes & noble then? those are full of pictures of sex acts.

it's not that they aren't attracted to their partner, necessarily. it's that they want something more - in addition to, in some cases.

many women feel upset by that. i can't say that i blame them.

[BloodDragon]

Personally, I think you're overly sensitive. "I'm so hurt he was jacking off the to the women on the screen. It's so sinful. Oh woe is me."

Not everyone on this website is a Jsus freak and some other people have different morals. Calling someone sinful is a horrible thing to do. God did not put you on the earth to judge or place people in a catergory. Everyone on the internet is sinful. Every single person in the world is sinful and you have no right to tell people what and what not to do because someone who doesn't follow your way of life ****es you off. Calling someone sinful...That's rude.

Back to porn: Chill out. It seems you're more offended with the fact that it ruins you idea of a Christian lifestyle than your marriage. Your husband was not doing anything with the woman on the screen. He was just looking at her and having a good time. Do you honestly think you can go through a marriage without looking at the opposite sex lustfully? Sure, I don't know my head from my *** when it comes to marriage because I'm so against it and it would never get married.

...Then again, I'm not you. I have no idea what goes on through your head. -shrugs- Just how I feel about this.

im in total agreement, being very anti religious (due to the fact that i had an intelligent, supportive up bringing which allowed me to make my own choices blah blah blah) i feel that both sexes should be respectful of each others feelings but at the same time not go over bored when it comes to matters such as this, i bet 80% of women straight away shouted or cried at there man when they found out that he watched porn, what i do not and have never understood is why women always been so emotional about these kinds of situations, cheating in my opinion is when you engage in sexual contact with another being, be it human or not (what ever floats your boat) but i fail to see how looking at some people is cheating or sinful (i wont go into debate about religious beliefs) Do you not allow your bf. husbands etc to get newspapers because of the fact that it has page 3, the definition of pornography is "the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement" which is just about every advertisement i can think of my question to you is, WHY not just talk to your partner about your situation?


i understand that constant porn watching is an issue that needs addressing, but you need to talk about it, have an ADULT conversation with them about it, why they watch it, is it something that porn does for them that you can not, is it just a fetish either way you are both adult and both capable of intelligent thought? if it bothers you TELL your partner. the amount of partners i have lost because we didn't talk about it and just used raw emotion

[BloodDragon]

My husband knows I can have any guy I want so to keep me he does what I say really

I'm sorry but in my opinion that is unbelievably cruel!


i would NEVER use the fact that i am attractive(at the risk of sounding big headed) to get my own way it is manipulative and down right disrespectful

making your spouse think anything other than absolute love and devotion is... I'm lost for words

i understand that i could of totally mis understood what u are trying to say as it just depends how you interpertate (bad spelling) things when they are down on paper, but either way manipulation is a discussions thing and SOOOO many people do it. if you have to make your patner think they could loose you to get your own way, well i do pity you. i have left several people because of this. one of which was in the 2nd week of us going out.