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  • stressed
    Veteran Member
    • Jun 2009
    • 1914

    But, you see, now you are the one becoming defensive. To an anonymous stranger. Who wants to help you.

    If he got tired of certain behaviors of yours that doesn't make him "right/wrong". It just makes you two "incompatible".

    I personally wouldn't blame either family for the situation you both got yourselves into by getting married without having lived together first. You both express unhappiness and anger management issues. You clearly have a rebellious attitude and he seems to have a conservative one, just like you described it.

    May I ask why you don't have a job/aren't studying? Have you studied? Have you ever lived alone and been independent?

    Something doesn't fit in this picture for me.

    Comment

    • unsuregirl
      Member
      • Jan 2011
      • 76

      Originally posted by stressed
      But, you see, now you are the one becoming defensive. To an anonymous stranger. Who wants to help you.

      If he got tired of certain behaviors of yours that doesn't make him "right/wrong". It just makes you two "incompatible".

      I personally wouldn't blame either family for the situation you both got yourselves into by getting married without having lived together first. You both express unhappiness and anger management issues. You clearly have a rebellious attitude and he seems to have a conservative one, just like you described it.

      May I ask why you don't have a job/aren't studying? Have you studied? Have you ever lived alone and been independent?

      Something doesn't fit in this picture for me.
      I have completed my studies. I was working before the marriage and sicne I had to relocate after the marriage to be with him, I took a break from work and I have been looking for a new job in this same city.
      I have lived previuosly with room mates but not alone. But I do like living alone. I do not get bored in the house or I do not open up my box of complaints that I accumulate over the day as soon as my husband enters through the door.
      What else could I tell you so that you can put the sotry together?

      Comment

      • stressed
        Veteran Member
        • Jun 2009
        • 1914

        Originally posted by unsuregirl
        What else could I tell you so that you can put the sotry together?
        Where your anger derives from?

        Comment

        • unsuregirl
          Member
          • Jan 2011
          • 76

          Originally posted by stressed
          Where your anger derives from?
          Are you implying that my above statement is an expression of anger?

          Comment

          • stressed
            Veteran Member
            • Jun 2009
            • 1914

            There is, in your question. And in all of your posts.

            Comment

            • unsuregirl
              Member
              • Jan 2011
              • 76

              If thats not what you implied then I can't point out anything that it derives from. I feel anger in certain situations. In this case, it was the fact that I was sexually frustrated because even a woman can get frustrated if she has to carry on without sexual pleasures for two months when each day the man she wants it from is lying beside herself in bed. Its not just men who get sexually frustrated.

              Comment

              • unsuregirl
                Member
                • Jan 2011
                • 76

                Originally posted by stressed
                There is, in your question. And in all of your posts.
                And if you interpreted the above statement as an expression of anger, you were wrong. probably , just as people say, writing is not the safest way to talk. My question was a genuine one, asking what else I could answer so that you could help me as you claimed that you are trying to do. Kindly, do not make assumptions. I am not even angry at my husband anymore. Why would I be angry at you.

                Comment

                • stressed
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 1914

                  I was sexually frustrated with my ex fiance for 4.5 years. I never hit him or deprived him of sleep. I am a year older than you.

                  My point is, a sexually frustrated woman who otherwise respects, loves and adores her husband doesn't do what you did. There has to be more to it than sexual issues.

                  Comment

                  • unsuregirl
                    Member
                    • Jan 2011
                    • 76

                    Originally posted by stressed
                    I was sexually frustrated with my ex fiance for 4.5 years. I never hit him or deprived him of sleep. I am a year older than you.

                    My point is, a sexually frustrated woman who otherwise respects, loves and adores her husband doesn't do what you did. There has to be more to it than sexual issues.
                    Hmmm....I think I will again have to repeat the same thing...I already know and have mentioned that my pestering has been wrong. If I thought I was right all the way, why would I even write on an open forum and start my post saying that I am confused about my situation. When I started writing, I was confused about my fault and as I got to read some profound posts, my confusion cleared and I know where I was at fault. Now what does it prove anyway? In the end what I have got is a slap on my face and many other instances of physical abuse of mild levels and a husband who thinks he did the best thing in his life by doing the above thing.
                    I don't think I have any inhibitions in accpeting my fault but do I have to accept them to each individual who tries to help me? I could do that but whats the point? Tell me something more that can help me in this situation.

                    Comment

                    • stressed
                      Veteran Member
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 1914

                      It proves (in addition to the honeymoon incident) that during certain instances your anger goes beyond control, or you exhibit signs of behavior of a person who wants what she wants, when she wants it, and she will do anything to have it (and not always in a good way).

                      Maybe I'm unable to get though to you, so I'm just going to give up and leave the rest to our other members.

                      Comment

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