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Bachelor Party/Strip Club

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  • Bachelor Party/Strip Club

    My fiance and I got into an argument regarding his bachelor party and going to the strip club. My side was that I didn't want any of the strippers to touch him, as in put their boobs in his face, etc. I feel that, that is a private part and that should only happen to him in the bedroom with me, not with some random woman. I guess I do not see it as being any different then him going to the bar or a party and having another woman put her boobs in his face. I feel is cheating.

    His argument is that if he doesn't go to the strip club, the guys will say he is (edit) whipped. I understand that this is "what guys do" on their bachelor party, but I just can't get over that feeling that it would be like cheating. I am not going and gaving some guys thing on me, because only HIS should be I guess...on me, lol... therefore I don't. Why doesn't he understand, and how can I feel better about this? I feel so frustrated and a little hurt...
    Last edited by LanaBear; 09-30-2011, 09:48 AM. Reason: No bypassing profanity filter.

  • No, it's not "what guys do" at their bachelor party. Sure, some do.. and it gets glorified in movies and whatnot... but there are about a million other options that guys can do too, and still have fun and be guys. Of all my friends that have gotten married, not one of them had a bachelor or bachelorette party with strippers. They did things like trap-shooting, boating, bar-hopping, go karting, camping, weekends exploring a big city, etc... not one boob or coinpurse in anyone's face and everyone had a great time with no hurt feelings. It is completely reasonable.

    Is your fiance really suggesting that his friends not thinking he's P** whipped is more important than his future wife feeling like she's been cheated on? I would bring that to his attention, because as a future husband he is already making quite a mistake in his train of thought.

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    • I would see this as a trust issue, and you can use this as a building block for that. let him go and enjoy himself with his friends. Has there been something in the past that leads you to believe he is going to act on a stripper lap dancing or possible getting her boobs to close to him. I dont judge others or their relationships because everyone is different and how they look at things, but i think by not letting him go could cause some trust stress issues further down the relationship, unless like i said, something similar has already happened to ruin this already.

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      • I've been to strip clubs before and they put their boobs right in your face and some even put their vaginas in your face. I don't like the idea of that. Early in our relationship we went with some friends to a strip club for (edit) and giggles and this is before we got really serious and he went and sat by the stage. I thought I'd be okay with it, but once I saw that strippers whoo haa in his face, I totally lost it. Ever since then I am not comfortable with the thought of him at a strip club. I am okay if he goes and just watches, but I have problems with the thought of a girl having her boobs in his face or something else. I just don't sit well with the idea. Maybe I am just being insecure, but I can't fight this feeling.
        Last edited by LanaBear; 09-30-2011, 09:49 AM. Reason: Profanity.

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        • I have to respectfully disagree with you, sheria. I don't think it is an issue of trust so much as an issue of respect. Using myself as an example, I would be pretty livid if my fiance demanded to go to a stripclub for his bachelor party. Not because I don't trust him. He has never done anything shady in the past and I trust him absolutely, or I wouldn't be marrying him. But I think it is insult, or a sign of disrespect, towards me. What a shiesty way it would be for my future husband to celebrate our upcoming nuptials. What a shiesty way to start the path towards marriage.

          And how disrespectful is it for a soon-to-be husband to not listen to his future wife when she asks him not to go to a stripclub because "his friends will think he's whipped" Where does his loyalty and his priorities lie? She was honest with him when she said she feels the things that go on in a stripclub are cheating, since they would be if they happened anywhere else. He doesn't seem to take that very seriously, or at least he doesn't seem to care as much about what his wife thinks than he does about what his friends think.

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          • I understand you totally, and that is why i said i wouldnt judge your feelings on this. We all have our own securities and insecurities, and for all types of reasons. I dont think your being insecure on this, i think maybe u should share this with him and let him know how you feel and that you want him to go and you trust him, but you want him to know that he will except your boundries with that you are requesting instead of telling him as "this is my rules" i think he would respect that and especially you for meeting in the middle so to speak.

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            • All I know is if he felt that way about something I was doing, I wouldn't do it. No matter what my friends say, but maybe that's the difference between men and women. Women don't read into something when you say you want to do something else, where guys will give each other if they think you're "whipped."

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              • Why does he have to tell his friends that his fiancee won't let him go? Why can't he just tell them HE doesn't want to and would much rather do __(insert activity here)__?

                Just seems like a cop out, a weak excuse.

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                • He said because they would KNOW it was because of me (which is probably true).

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                  • Originally posted by KMonte85 View Post
                    I have to respectfully disagree with you, sheria. I don't think it is an issue of trust so much as an issue of respect. Using myself as an example, I would be pretty livid if my fiance demanded to go to a stripclub for his bachelor party. Not because I don't trust him. He has never done anything shady in the past and I trust him absolutely, or I wouldn't be marrying him. But I think it is insult, or a sign of disrespect, towards me. What a shiesty way it would be for my future husband to celebrate our upcoming nuptials. What a shiesty way to start the path towards marriage.

                    And how disrespectful is it for a soon-to-be husband to not listen to his future wife when she asks him not to go to a stripclub because "his friends will think he's whipped" Where does his loyalty and his priorities lie? She was honest with him when she said she feels the things that go on in a stripclub are cheating, since they would be if they happened anywhere else. He doesn't seem to take that very seriously, or at least he doesn't seem to care as much about what his wife thinks than he does about what his friends think.
                    I agree 100 %. A Bachelor/Bachelorett party is not an automatic "free pass" to overlook your commitment to your s/o for one last hoorah before you get married.
                    There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

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                    • Not all guys do bachelor parties, my husband didn't..... And he didn't care what the guys said about him.

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                      • Originally posted by DSemcho View Post
                        Not all guys do bachelor parties, my husband didn't..... And he didn't care what the guys said about him.
                        Mine neither, well, technically, I guess they did, but they went camping for the weekend. Him and 10 of his friends. Hubby isn't a strip club kind of guy, thankfully.

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                        • I guess i missed the part at the beginning where lizardb63 said that her fiance was going to get freaky at his bachelor party with his free pass and have all kinds of breast in his face and having sex with the strippers and getting his last hoorah before his wedding. I think someone is watching too many shows portraying bachelor parties as a sex party, does it happen of course, to what percentage, i have no clue, i didnt poll this question. All i know is my husband, brother, his friends, my friends, relatives, cousins have all had bachelor parties with many strippers attending the majority of them, either they are all great secret keepers or nothing serious happend at them, ive been to many many bachelorette parties with male strippers and have yet to see the bride, sucking off or having his ding dong hitting her face, or him diving in her with his dingleing.
                          Originally posted by Fallen1 View Post
                          I agree 100 %. A Bachelor/Bachelorett party is not an automatic "free pass" to overlook your commitment to your s/o for one last hoorah before you get married.

                          Comment


                          • A bachelor party is not required, but in some areas it can be almost required. If you tell him he can go, tell him that he has to honestly tell you what went on. Then read between the lines. Maybe, before he goes, tell him that you will have girls night out with a male stripper and that things will go as far or farther with the stripper as they did for him. It's probably better for him to go to the woods with his buddies and terrorize the animals (with their drinking and carrying on, of course). And make sure that they go far enough in so they can't bring a stripper. Maybe you can promise him a private show if he promises to behave. But his buddies will bring out the most outrageous behavior in him.
                            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                            ...
                            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                            Comment


                            • I agree with at least one of the previous posters... I think it's more about R-E-S-P-E-C-T then anything else.

                              Respecting you, respecting your opinion, respecting your relationship and the foundation on which it's built, etc.

                              I may be a stick in the mud or whatever and not yet 'successful' in marriage, as my only ended in divorce, but my 'bachelor party' consisted of me and some close male friends, some in my wedding party, some not, having a nice meal at a nice restaurant with a couple of drinks and an evening of great conversation.

                              It was an opportunity to catch up with some old friends, get some insight from buddies that had been married, and reminisce about old times we shared in years gone by.

                              Tell your fiance' to wake up, grow up and start respecting you.

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