[DSemcho]

Not all guys do bachelor parties, my husband didn't..... And he didn't care what the guys said about him.

[LanaBear]

Not all guys do bachelor parties, my husband didn't..... And he didn't care what the guys said about him.

Mine neither, well, technically, I guess they did, but they went camping for the weekend. Him and 10 of his friends. Hubby isn't a strip club kind of guy, thankfully.

[sheriac5]

I guess i missed the part at the beginning where lizardb63 said that her fiance was going to get freaky at his bachelor party with his free pass and have all kinds of breast in his face and having sex with the strippers and getting his last hoorah before his wedding. I think someone is watching too many shows portraying bachelor parties as a sex party, does it happen of course, to what percentage, i have no clue, i didnt poll this question. All i know is my husband, brother, his friends, my friends, relatives, cousins have all had bachelor parties with many strippers attending the majority of them, either they are all great secret keepers or nothing serious happend at them, ive been to many many bachelorette parties with male strippers and have yet to see the bride, sucking off or having his ding dong hitting her face, or him diving in her with his dingleing.

I agree 100 %. A Bachelor/Bachelorett party is not an automatic "free pass" to overlook your commitment to your s/o for one last hoorah before you get married.

[jns]

A bachelor party is not required, but in some areas it can be almost required. If you tell him he can go, tell him that he has to honestly tell you what went on. Then read between the lines. Maybe, before he goes, tell him that you will have girls night out with a male stripper and that things will go as far or farther with the stripper as they did for him. It's probably better for him to go to the woods with his buddies and terrorize the animals (with their drinking and carrying on, of course). And make sure that they go far enough in so they can't bring a stripper. Maybe you can promise him a private show if he promises to behave. But his buddies will bring out the most outrageous behavior in him.

[Guest]

I agree with at least one of the previous posters... I think it's more about R-E-S-P-E-C-T then anything else.

Respecting you, respecting your opinion, respecting your relationship and the foundation on which it's built, etc.

I may be a stick in the mud or whatever and not yet 'successful' in marriage, as my only ended in divorce, but my 'bachelor party' consisted of me and some close male friends, some in my wedding party, some not, having a nice meal at a nice restaurant with a couple of drinks and an evening of great conversation.

It was an opportunity to catch up with some old friends, get some insight from buddies that had been married, and reminisce about old times we shared in years gone by.

Tell your fiance' to wake up, grow up and start respecting you.

[Hopeless Dork]

So what... just because you are about to pledge your COMMITEMENT and love to ONE person... the night before it you should be allowed to completely disrespect all the loyalty and trust builty to get to the point of that pledge? Pfft. Rediciculous, the whole concept of a last hoorah is lame. That last hoorah should be had before the person proposes, not the night before they sign the papers.

But alas, it is what it is. I find more fault with your man being so concerned with what his friends think than what my happen at his party. Seriously? Worried his friends will think hes TOO INTO YOU to go to a strip club? He's about to MARRY you... but oh golly will the friends be miffed and make a fuss if he actually in love with you to the point of not wanting to see other chicks.

Truth is the bachalor party is NOT for the bachelor. Its for his married friends that never get an excuse to go to a strip club, its for his single lonely friends that feel loserish going to the strip clubs alone-- THEY want this party, THEY will demand there be naked chicks under the guise of it being for him... but if it was for him and what he wanted then they wouldn't care what they did.

Nope bachelor parties are for the other guys. And that being said, the groom usually must comply. At LEAST he's being honest. Lots of guys tell their fiance the fellas are taking them on a hiking trip for the weekend (which is actually a trip to vegas). So at least he isn't trying to pull a fast one. Let him have his night. Don't even think about it or get yourself in tizzy over it. Instead talk to him about how he would feel if you were to give men lap dances when you and your friends go out to the clubs for your bachelorette party. Would he mind it if you grinded on strange mens laps and rubbed your boobs on their faces etc. If he has a problem with that he should understand and respect why you wouldn't want HIm to get lap dances from other chicks.

But it will ultimately be up to him how he behaves. His friends shouldn't have that much power over him at this stage in the game. Seriously. But some men need that male approval.

If you get worried and cry and freak out, you are only going to make yourself miserable. Instead commit yourself to going out with YOUR friends the same night and fill your head with distractions, fun and your own eye candy and don't even think about his night.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

All I know is if he felt that way about something I was doing, I wouldn't do it. No matter what my friends say, but maybe that's the difference between men and women. Women don't read into something when you say you want to do something else, where guys will give each other if they think you're "whipped."

Isn't that what full commitment is about though? If it bothers the other person, then you don't do it and you are man enough to show the other guys how relationships really work, with respect.

The problem I have, is that you guys have been to one before and it doesn't bother you as long as he is watching only. It's pretty hard to give someone "half" an apple and say you can't bite into the rest..

Regardless if "they" think it's the thing to do or not at a bucks night, if it's something he wants to do, personally? Then I would find that offensive because it's sending me a message of let me look, closely one last time...Perhaps ask him if he wants to do it and use that arguement.

[lizzardb63]

This is all so confusing to me. I just feel like I am not his everything if he wants to go see other naked women, and have their breasts in his face...

[Ashlee T.]

I guess i missed the part at the beginning where lizardb63 said that her fiance was going to get freaky at his bachelor party with his free pass and have all kinds of breast in his face and having sex with the strippers and getting his last hoorah before his wedding. I think someone is watching too many shows portraying bachelor parties as a sex party, does it happen of course, to what percentage, i have no clue, i didnt poll this question. All i know is my husband, brother, his friends, my friends, relatives, cousins have all had bachelor parties with many strippers attending the majority of them, either they are all great secret keepers or nothing serious happend at them, ive been to many many bachelorette parties with male strippers and have yet to see the bride, sucking off or having his ding dong hitting her face, or him diving in her with his dingleing.

Easy tiger...it's fine to have your opinion, but you're bordering on being rude and disrespectful of others opinions here. You see nothing wrong with bachelors going to strip clubs. That's fine. The OP DOES see something wrong with it. That does not make her insecure. And I believe what Fallen said, in which you quoted, was nowhere NEAR as extreme as how you responded. For some it's not a matter of jealousy or insecurity, but respect and loyalty to the one you're about to commit the rest of your life to. The point is, if the person IN the situation feels disrespected by it, and would go up in flames if their partner did the same thing in return.......it should not be done. It's not a good practice to get into the mindset of "my friends will make fun of me" coming before the way your behavior makes your spouse feel.

For me it's always been the issue of "You are PAYING another woman to see her naked body, to have her grind it on you, shove it in your face, arouse you". I see it much the same as having a physical affair. You may not be emotionally involved, but you're still cheating.

To each their own. But the OP's fiance should care more about what his fiance needs/wants than that. Is it the end all be all? No of course not. But it sure is a bad taste in your mouth to start off your marriage with.

[lizzardb63]

BD, you said it perfectly...