[lizzardb63]

At this point, I am too far in to make it a small/private wedding. I am not going out and buying the most expensive things. I am bargain shopping and am getting only the necessities for a wedding. I think I'll regret more than I won't have the night I've always dreamt of, because you can't do that over. My mom already bought my dress (part of the $4000 wedding gift of money). It's just we had 2 plans of paying for it...and both fell through. Now, I have to figure out what to do and how to handle this. It just sucks when you've figured your budget and it all gets changed. Puts you in a tough spot.

[lizzardb63]

The average wedding costs $27,000 which we will be WELL under!!

[lizzardb63]

Also- it's not the ceremony that's so expensive (that's actually free)...it's the reception hall (food and drinks), photographer, and DJ. Its all SO PRICEY!

[rosekitten]

Just because the average is 27k doesn't mean much. I spent $100 on mine. /shrug The joy of getting married was what was important to me, not the show.

[caterpillar79]

Just because the average is 27k doesn't mean much. I spent $100 on mine. /shrug The joy of getting married was what was important to me, not the show.

Rosekitten, the OP is not asking for our lectures. She has her reasons - it's what she likes, it's what was planned. Her reasons are her business, unless she doesn't mind disclosing.

She came here asking us to help her figure out how to save the plan and still make it work because for some mishap, the things that should help pay for it didn't come through. I do understand where you're coming from, but that's you, not her.

I hope you do understand. And I do so tell you this politely, as a valuable contributor of this site. xx

[caterpillar79]

Also- it's not the ceremony that's so expensive (that's actually free)...it's the reception hall (food and drinks), photographer, and DJ. Its all SO PRICEY!

Liz, is it possible to get the RSVP cut off earlier so that you can estimate better as to how many guests you'll have to cater to?

[ccraig42]

For our wedding, we bought 6 10" round cakes from Sam's Club and it was around $90...we just added the silk flowers to it to tie it into the wedding. We still had like 2 cakes leftover too and we had about 100 people show up. Just a thought. I don't know if there's a Sam's close to you or not and then there's the issue of membership. Maybe someone you know has one?

[KMonte85]

My advice if you want to cut costs significantly (these are some things that I have done to reduce my spending significantly for my own wedding this May):

Invites - don't go fancy here, the cheaper the better. Nobody cares what your invites look like anyway, they just want the information off the card and then will toss it. Look into the tri-fold invites, where the RSVP card is attached and perforated and is mailed back as a post card (then you don't pay for a 2nd envelope, all the extra printing and paper, etc). Or look into making them yourself with a kit. If you're spending more than $0.75 per invite, you're spending too much.

Decorations - do them yourself with inexpensive materials, no glass, no fancy candles or fresh flowers. Think paper, craft supplies, bulk items, go out after christmas and buy up the leftover lights and decorations at a fraction of the cost to use for decorating - and get creative. Don't do big elaborate centerpieces at the dinner tables. Do NOT rent any decorations, you pay through the nose for an atmosphere nobody other than you really cares about. Do NOT decorate the ceremony site, particularly if you are in a chuch, they will usually have decorations you can use.

Flowers - Don't go fresh. They make silk flowers as lovely as any fresh flowers available for a fraction of the cost. Do not go through a florist, they'll tell you they're reasonable, but when you look at the prices for wholesale silk flowers, you'll see they're lying to you. Don't think it's cheesy to do silk. Think about all the weddings you've ever been to... do you remember the boquets and boutineers in detal? Probably not, because no one cares.

Transportation - no limo, you'll be paying $200ish/hour (usually a 3 hr minimum) for nothing other than to have a fancy take off from the ceremony - not worth it. Get a schoolbus if you have a big wedding party, or just travel in your own vehicles where ever you go.

Photographer - find a newbie to the business, someone just starting out - maybe a college kid with a photog major. Call around to local colleges for photographers, do some online research since many photogs starting out create websites with their portfolios. Maybe ask a friend who you know takes great pictures and has a good camera, or rent him or her one. Anyone with a good camera and a good eye is a great option, you don't need some fancy established photographer with all the bells and whistles that you'll pay for.

Dinner - ask the reception hall (or read the info you may already have) about their dinner options. If possible, have the hall use disposable tableware as most places charge extra for china and silverware as they need to be washed. Go for the buffet dinner style if it is available as it is much less expensive than family style or single serve. Have one meat option, no choices as each choice adds a dollar or two per guest at least. Do not to appetizers or an after dinner snack.

Bar - no open bar or only soda. If you feel you MUST, then cut off the open bar/free beer once dinner is over, since thats when most guests are going to hit the bar the most anyway. No sense having people get drunk on your dime. They are supposed to be there for you and your hubby, not to party. And ff they really care about having a few brews, they'll fork out the cash for it themselves.

Guests - re-evaluate your list. Are you really that close to 275-300 people that they MUST be there? If you've got a large reception site, you probably will have a 200 person or so minimum, but if you can cut back that many people to meet their minimum, you'll save hundreds if not thousands of dollars. 300 people for dinner at $15/plate is $4500 out the window right there. Cut that back to 200, you'll save yourself $1500 dollars. Go over your current guest list and review it with these 3 groups in mind: Must have at dinner (family and very close friends), Reception only invite (distant relatives and friends), and Nah they don't need to be there (Acquantances, business associates, anyone you haven't talked to in person or on the phone in the last year, friends of friends)

Favors - don't give favors to guests. Nobody cares about them or keeps them anyway. If you feel you MUST do something (but do keep in mind how miniscule this detail is), find a charity that you and your hubby want to support and send them a cash donation. Donate whatever you are comfortable doing, and make a note on the tables as the reception that in leu of favors, you have made a donation to ______ cause.

DJ - Since your wedding is so far away still, you may be able to get out of any contract you have with them scott free. Typically, after 6 months you're stuck, but sometimes (especially if you call and explain the situation) the DJ company will give you back your all or most of the deposit and you can get out of the contract and you can probably find someone (friend or friend of friend) with a good amount of stereo equipment and hundreds of iTunes to DJ for you for $50 or so. Music is music. If you absolutely can't get out of your agreement with the DJ, then call them up and ask them if they have any options to decrease the cost? Maybe they have 2 people DJ usually and they'll reduce the price if you only have 1 person there. Maybe if they have less lights and equipment, they'll reduce the price, etc... see what they're willing to do. Most will work with you if you bluff and tell them you can't afford to pay the rest of their fees so you have to cancel if you can't work something out - they want money, even if it's less than originally agreed to.


I might have more ideas too, but this is what I've got off the top of my head.

[lizzardb63]

Thank you Caterpillar. I am not in the situation of just starting out, there was a plan in place and it fell through unfortunately. Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and can't just "start over" my plans. Things have been paid for, reserved, and deposits are down (and most say no refund). I think I am going to look into taking out of my 401K from my previous job. That would free up about $4000 for myself... then there are my tax returns, which last year I got around $3000- so that is $7000...then if my fiance contributes his tax returns we'll be okay...but I am just so scared to rely on anything, because so far all our plans have fallen through

[rosekitten]

Rosekitten, the OP is not asking for our lectures. She has her reasons - it's what she likes, it's what was planned. Her reasons are her business, unless she doesn't mind disclosing.

She came here asking us to help her figure out how to save the plan and still make it work because for some mishap, the things that should help pay for it didn't come through. I do understand where you're coming from, but that's you, not her.

I hope you do understand. And I do so tell you this politely, as a valuable contributor of this site. xx

Oh, I understand that. It just seemed like she was trying to justify the expense (weather to us or herself, I don't know), so I thought it was important to point out that just because there is an average, doesn't mean one has to base their expenses off of it. I honestly can't imagine paying 9k for a wedding, but she also said a bulk of the expenses were already paid for, and I followed that with suggestions for how to get around some of the costs.