[Stillness]

In both instances, my husband never denied those were things he needed to do. That's why he never argues with me on it.

That changes my opinion a little. His attitude is different from mine. I would give in way easier to my wife's pleas, but if she threatened to take something away from me I'd probably never do it just on principle. It would probably damage our relationship too.

This one time we bought a fancy in-sink dishwasher (it's pretty cool). I delayed installing it for a long time so we didn't have a functioning sink in our kitchen. After I put it in she told me that she had considered leaving until I installed it. This hurt me a lot. After that I found myself fantasizing about her leaving me. I started wishing I had taken longer just to see how it would be. This was years ago and I've never really been able to shake the feeling. Be careful.

I wouldn't be opposed to added a bride if that spiced things up

[rcoreyus]

I think its a very bad idea to ever use sex or intimacy as a bargaining tool. It is something that should be freely given to the person you love - something that you should enjoy giving as much as he enjoys receiving (even for things where the physical pleasure is one-sided).

Medical issues are tricky - and I've had this issue with my wife. For something that isn't lethal, like a toenail infection, I think you just need to let him decide when the pain / aggravation are worth the time and expense of a doctor's visit. If it is potentially life threatening, then all you can do is ask - but it really is his decision.

[jns]

If a doctor can fix his fungus, can you? Google [nail fungus treatment] and look for home remedies. Vinegar seems to be commonly used.

[Fox08]

dont make it a habit as it may backfire

[DreamP346]

If a doctor can fix his fungus, can you? Google [nail fungus treatment] and look for home remedies. Vinegar seems to be commonly used.

already tried. This has been going on for over 3 years.

So I asked him again, seriously why he won't go to the doctor and it there was something he was afraid of. He admits he needs to get it taken care of. I've stopped the withholding thing, but I'm not optimistic about him following through on what he said he would do. I'm going to see if reminding him everyday will work. Its still like treating him like a child!

[rcoreyus]

If it isn't bothering him enough for to go to a doctor, why is it so important to you? (question not meant to be hostile - sorry if it sounds like that, really I'm just curious).

[DreamP346]

If it isn't bothering him enough for to go to a doctor, why is it so important to you? (question not meant to be hostile - sorry if it sounds like that, really I'm just curious).

First, I find it utterly disgusting. His toes look like its rotting and I hate that I have to share my bed with that fungus. Second, I don't know what type of long of term consequence this could have. And he is not OK with it. He did go to see a doctor about it two years ago. He is not following through because he doesn't like the treatment options.

[Stillness]

He is not following through because he doesn't like the treatment options.

This is a valid concern. I know of someone that got damage to one of their major organs (can't remember which, kidneys maybe) on some foot fungus medication. Some of those medications can have nasty side effects. What doesn't he like about it?

[DreamP346]

This is a valid concern. I know of someone that got damage to one of their major organs (can't remember which, kidneys maybe) on some foot fungus medication. Some of those medications can have nasty side effects. What doesn't he like about it?

Have the toe nail removed. It's actually not a big deal, they grow back but he is saying he finally said he is worried he won't be ready for ski season. Common, that's four months away and this is not something that just happened.

[ItsASecret]

Long term effects are it spreads to other parts of the skin or other toes, and it can become so inflamed under the nail that he will be unable to walk. If that happens he will also have no chance of skiing. Also, if he has diabetes his risk for more complications goes up.

If he has to have the toenail removed it will grow back, though very slowly, and maybe not in time for ski season but honestly would he be very upset if he had to miss a month or two into ski season in order to have a toenail back in proper shape?