[brunettebabe]

I had showed my husband a journel entry I had wrote about the reasons why I am not very happy with the marriage and he thought I was full of it because he didn't think the reasons were true and that the stuff didn't happen. I guess he is denial.

[Claret]

I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.

Why do you call this love? You could love a puppy and get back more in return than abuse and mistreatment from your spouse. You could love your house but it won't love you back nor will all the furniture that you might keep if you divorced. YOU can love lots of people, men, children, friends BUT you can't make them love you back. At least give yourself the opportunity to have someone love you for who you are. If someone loves you he/she will not mistreat you nor abuse you. What type of independence do you really have right now?

[Guest]

I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.

Is he there now?

[Going upward]

You have to be fed up to leave . Most people won't admit it but its easier said then done when it comes to leaving the one you love. Everyone has their limit and you just haven't reached yours yet. But at least you are beginning to acknowledge that there is a problem and you deserve better . The mere fact that you are questioning yourself is a step in the right direction so you are on your way to making a change. I wish you the best and please know that you can achieve any goal you set forth to obtain. When you become fed up you will know it b/c it won't be a darn thing he or anyone else can say that will make you stay . So continue to think about your freedom from this broken relationship.