[Julie:-)]

I forgot to ask since this is a open relationship is he having sex with anyone else as well?

No, he doesn't want to. But he insisted for more than 10 years for me to do it! I should clarify that this always made me feel that he didn't love me. Why somebody wants the wife to have sex with somebody else instead of being with him?

[Bladyn'smommy16]

I'm not sure why my husband always talked about it too I think it's just some mans fantasies reading a lot of these treads it seems common but a lot don't act on it..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I love my husband to pieces, but I don't know if he loves me, or he just need to feel he owns me and can treat me like a slave.
About my FWB, we are friends, talk about life, our families, laugh, and have good sex, but we are both clear that we love our families, and they are first. I don't need to see him again, but I fill chocked that my husband push me around all the time

!

Let's go back a few steps then maybe we can stop guessing and provide you with some opinions, as JNS has.. Why do you feel that he does not love you?

The fact that you said "best sex ever" suggests you do not have good sex with your husband, is it loving, intimate, wham bam, nothing, what is your relationship like there with your husband.

Apart from this situation, what makes you feel that he feels that he owns you, and treats you like a slave.

It would be great if you could fill in those blanks.

My first thought is as follows :-

It could be a fantasy that your husband has (3 some) and so, the game of what he has laid out to you but then his jealousy comes into play and he can't control his emotions/thoughts only for that to change again later when he gets past that, and his fantasy takes over again.

However, I'd like to answer further if you would provide some of those or all, of those answers.

Welcome to WH.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Cw, I was just giving her my opinions on the subject I'm sorry if it looked like I was just guessing...

[Julie:-)]

Hi, thanks a lot for your comments. My husband is not very sweet, foreplay does not exist in his vocabulary, and just want to be pleased. I tried many times to discuss it, but he gets frustrated and we finish fighting. I think this is one of the reasons why he wanted me to have a FWB. I think this is the only thing I would like my husband to change, and never though it was a big deal, until I tried something different. I wish I could go back in time!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey Blady,

It wasn't directed at all to you, rather asking the OP to provide more information so that more people can provide her with opinions.

After all, you asked questions to her as well

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi, thanks a lot for your comments. My husband is not very sweet, foreplay does not exist in his vocabulary, and just want to be pleased. I tried many times to discuss it, but he gets frustrated and we finish fighting. I think this is one of the reasons why he wanted me to have a FWB. I think this is the only thing I would like my husband to change, and never though it was a big deal, until I tried something different. I wish I could go back in time!

It's very difficult when it is "he" who has instigated the whole thing..

Can you elaborate on "not very sweet" ? Please.

I understand that you are suggesting that he is selfish, a selfish lover and therefore has suggested you go out there and get it from somewhere else, though that is not the way to solve a sexual problem between two committed people. You have to decide if you can live with that for the rest of your life or not, or get into this frustrated mess that you are in.

But, I would like to know what you mean by "he's not sweet" because intimacy is bonding, keeps people in love. Not sweet, suggests there are alot of other things that maybe you are also not satisfied or happy with.

Would you call him old fashioned? Boring ? Non loving with hugs, kisses, gifts, suprises, etc.

[jns]

It sounds like your FWB is doing things your husband is unwilling to do. It sounds like your relationship with your FWB is making your husband feel inadequate in comparison. In general, discussing what was done sexually with another is not a good idea. Even if your husband asked about it.

Stuffing the genie back into the bottle is very hard if not impossible.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

I'm sorry CW I took it wrong

[Julie:-)]

He is loving and caring with our kids, and sometimes with me, but only out of bed. During sex he is very impatient and selfish, and likes it rough. Last night I stepped up and told him to slow down and he did, first time ever, but after he complaint about it... At list he is trying!