[Bladyn'smommy16]

No it is not going to happen again, I did it because I needed sex, not love just plain sex. We have been apart due to his work and I got weak. I love him and we have five children. I cannot live the lie I feel like crap about what I did. I have to tell him the truth and then rebuild the trust. I just don't know how and I want to avoid a big blow up if I can.

I don't think you can avoid a big blow out. If you really feel you need to tell him the truth do it sooner rather than later.. Because he could potentiality be more angry and hurt if you wait..

[jns]

I don't think you can avoid a big blow out. If you really feel you need to tell him the truth do it sooner rather than later.. Because he could potentiality be more angry and hurt if you wait..

I agree.

[jdub72]

I did it because I felt like he was not interested in me sexually, and I just got worked up one night and needed to be with a man. I was an idiot and I let my lust get the best of me.

[jdub72]

I told him last night after we went out, and came home from the restaurant. I was getting ready for bed he just came out and asked me. So I told him that I wanted to be the most loving wife and devote myself to the relationship, our 4 children and him forever then I told him I had been dishonest and I had in fact cheated evening he came home.

He looked at me straight in the face and call me a ****, a filthy ***** and a heartless ****. Then he slapped me with his closed fist twice. He left for the night. He came back this morning and was in the kitchen waiting for his breakfast he smelled like perfume and alcohol. I tried to hug him and he pulled away from me. I made his breakfast and tried to talk to him about last night and asked him why he smelled like woman's perfume. He just looked at me and said he thought I looked ridiculous with a black eye and he threw a pair of women's panties on the table and said now we are even. He told me that he was having a legal agreement drawn up that basically says if I cheat in the future I am giving up my legal rights to my marital assets and he gets custody of our children. He said if I do not sign it then we are going to split. I know he he only reacted because he was hurting and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I made a huge mess and made this happen,I deserved everything I got and I just want things to go back to normal.

[BabyGirl]

You did it because

I did it because I needed sex, not love just plain sex. We have been apart due to his work and I got weak.

and

I did it because I felt like he was not interested in me sexually, and I just got worked up one night and needed to be with a man.

That is a Cop Out . You Don't Need Sex, at least to the point of Cheating, there are Porn and Sex Toys and your fingers to release your pent up desires.

What is going to happen the next Time you " Need " sex ? Oops, I did it again ?
You say you Love him, where's the Respect for him and your Marriage ?
Cheating is Not Love, not showing Love, Not being in Love.

Admitting to it to him, will be a Huge Blow Up and most likely the end of your Marriage. He already suspects it . Again I can't tell you to tell him, but you will have to live with the Consequences of your Decision to Cheat .

So, either keep Quiet about it, never ever cheat again or admit to him of your "needing" another man. This will of course bring the opportunity to have a discussion about your feeling Neglected, but then he may decide that if you are willing to cheat on him, instead of doing the Mature and Respectful thing of talking over your feelings with him and trying to solve the issue , that he may need another type of Woman in his life.

It's your Conscience You have to deal with now, Either Decision, to tell or not to tell is going to change your Life, Your Marriage and your Children's Lives .

I'm being harsh, I know, but if you made the decision to Drive after Drinking and you got caught.. You'd have to face your decision to do it and suffer the consequences. Now if You drank and Drove and almost got in an accident and didn't get caught.. You could decide to never do it again .

This is called Learning your Lesson .. Don't Drink and Drive.. Don't " Need another Man " when Horny, Use a Vibrator or your own hands.

You have a Huge Decision to make . Think it over Carefully .

[jns]

Obviously BG was writing her post when jdub posted.

[jdub72]

I cheated on him the night he came home from out of state. He wasn't supposed to come home that night he was trying to surprise me and get home early. Until then we had been not so physical and I got a feeling we were not connecting for a while. I just got horny and needed a man.

[Little]

I think Babygirl was drafting her response before you posted about telling your husband.

It is not okay for your husband to hit you. A closed-fist "slap" is called a PUNCH. It is assault, no question about it. You should call the police and document his domestic assault on you. While you did a BAD thing in cheating on him, two wrongs do not make a right and there is no EXCUSE for him to PUNCH you. You did not deserve to be hit.

I assume this is not the first time he has hit you, maybe not the first time he has punched you. I also assume that he responds to many problems in this manner - retaliation and one-upmanship. He didn't believe he had evened the score by blackening your eye, but also wanted to cheat on you. I doubt you REALLY cheated because you didn't feel sexually taken care of - I think you cheated because you wanted to control the hurt in the relationship for once. Not that it's an excuse. But to forgive yourself going forward and take the right path, you need to really understand in clear terms why you cheated.

Don't sign anything. Call the police. Document his assault. Document your black eye. You haven't mentioned what country you're in - consult a divorce lawyer. BUT DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING.

[jdub72]

Your correct, looking back I wish I never would have done it, it was like a dream when it happened, like i was not even there.I told him last night after we went out, and came home from the restaurant. I was getting ready for bed he just came out and asked me. So I told him that I wanted to be the most loving wife and devote myself to the relationship, our 4 children and him forever then I told him I had been dishonest and I had in fact cheated evening he came home.

He looked at me straight in the face and call me a ****, a filthy ***** and a heartless ****. Then he slapped me with his closed fist twice. He left for the night. He came back this morning and was in the kitchen waiting for his breakfast he smelled like perfume and alcohol. I tried to hug him and he pulled away from me. I made his breakfast and tried to talk to him about last night and asked him why he smelled like woman's perfume. He just looked at me and said he thought I looked ridiculous with a black eye and he threw a pair of women's panties on the table and said now we are even. He told me that he was having a legal agreement drawn up that basically says if I cheat in the future I am giving up my legal rights to my marital assets and he gets custody of our children. He said if I do not sign it then we are going to split. I know he he only reacted because he was hurting and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I made a huge mess and made this happen,I deserved everything I got and I just want things to go back to normal.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Jdub72, your wrong you didn't deserve that at all... Yes you cheated on him but no one has a right to hit you at all... My advice would be do not sign anything.. Please! He apparently thinks you two are even now.. But revenge never solved anything.. I'm curious because I'm wondering is this the first time he's hit you?