[CheekyNess]

Thanks Effy, I will definitely check out those books! Also, just to clarify, neither of us is "young", although everyone's definition of what young is would be different. However, we are: 36 (me) and 44 (him). Quick background: we started dating in 2012 after knowing each other for years, and being matched online. We dated for 3 months, got engaged, and flew through wedding planning, all in just over a year. It's been a whirlwind to say the least! Seeing that I knew his Mom fairly well, I thought I knew what I was getting into, but once we got engaged, her attitude towards me changed entirely. She's gotten a little nicer in recent months, but still issues the occasional put-down. Hubs always has a reason for why she says what she does, and apparently, she never means the words that come out of her mouth, but something entirely different. I find that hubs talks this way as well, so I never really know what he means... It's always a guessing game! But, thank-you, I will throw those books on my Amazon wish list and order them in the near future.

Relationship communication is not a skill most people -- especially young people -- are good at. Four of the five problems you identified relate to the lack of communication in your marriage. Go to a good marital therapist and learn the skill. There are also some fantastic books out there that may quick start the process (Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson and Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix are two of my favorites). Those books will help teach you to communicate.

I hope you will find that, through honest communication, the two of you could rebuild the emotional bond and trust that will facilitate more intimacy. A marriage in which you need to find lovers in order to satisfy your sexual needs is not much of a marriage at all. Before you give up, put in the work to resolve your issues.

[CheekyNess]

Hey, I might try this method, thanks! :-)

That's just a shame. I've trained a few people in proper kissing, and my technique to start with is to just tell them to sit still and not do anything and let me kiss them and they should pay attention while I do it. Then slowly they can be allowed more leeway to get into the back and forth after they start grasping the principals. This takes the heat off of them because you're not expecting anything of them (so they can't fail), and because the tacit implication of you going to those lengths is acceptance and not rejection. No idea if he could actually be trained that way or is approachable tho.

[effy2014]

CN -- that's one of the important purposes of therapy. It puts issues on the table. The second one, the most important in my view, is to teach relationship communication. If you have the ability to talk through problems without getting defensive and with empathy for the feelings of your partner, a couple can solve most any problem.

The only problem in a relationship that most men recognize is the lack of sex. Give a pathway to solving that and you will have him working on the others.

[Romy]

It's very difficult to live in a sexless marriage but sometimes it's not quite so simple to leave.....for example if you had children together. For me, keeping the family together is a top priority and my opinion (rightly or wrongly) is that if a person left the marriage because there was no sex and left young children in a broken family it would appear very selfish. There is no easy answer with regard to this subject. Being sexually compatible and having sex daily is absolutely a top priority for me. If no children are involved I would definitely consider leaving.

[Trixareforkids]

I agree to this to a point. If the only real issue is sex and it's not spilling over into the other aspects of the relationship, both people are still civil and affectionate then it's really up to the principles. If however, the lack of sex spills over and resentment becomes palpable, there's open disrespect for one another and/or open fighting, it would actually be better for the kids for the parents to split.

[CheekyNess]

Children aren't involved; only furry ones, and I had them long before hubby was in the picture, so they would come with me (it's written in our prenup).

It's very difficult to live in a sexless marriage but sometimes it's not quite so simple to leave.....for example if you had children together. For me, keeping the family together is a top priority and my opinion (rightly or wrongly) is that if a person left the marriage because there was no sex and left young children in a broken family it would appear very selfish. There is no easy answer with regard to this subject. Being sexually compatible and having sex daily is absolutely a top priority for me. If no children are involved I would definitely consider leaving.