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  • Dragonfly
    Member
    • Dec 2007
    • 71

    What do you mean? What if he likes her attention? I am positive that he does! This girl is really pretty, pregnant and married what is she thinking? I am also pretty but I do feel threatened. I know I do have self esteem issues - but it does not help on how my husband reminds me everyday on my low self esteem.
    Last edited by Dragonfly; 12-20-2007, 12:47 PM. Reason: adding on

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    • Dragonfly
      Member
      • Dec 2007
      • 71

      my husband just called and acted like nothing was wrong. I told him I was still upset and he said that I was freaking him out. I am so upset. My feelings are more hurt than anything. Ever since we have been married he is eager to tell me who has a crush on him and one time a girl called our house and hung up when I answered. He carpooled with another girl from work. He had a crush on another and now this girl.. I need a freaking break!!!!

      Comment

      • Fallen1
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2007
        • 1937

        Originally posted by Dragonfly
        .....I am so upset..... I need a freaking break!!!!
        I know it's hard but try and calm down so that you can think clearly. This all may be really nothing to worry about.

        I know you said that he gets upset talking about it but you need to get this cleared up. If you don't it will do nothing but fester and possibly cause more problems.
        There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

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        • Dragonfly
          Member
          • Dec 2007
          • 71

          Since we have been married there has always been some girl. He likes porn, strip bars etc. Every time I leave the house to go to the grocery store it is a joke because he is always getting on the computer to look at porn. I know I am attractive but I don't feel like I am. I am sad. I am a stay at home mom with two kids and I feel like he does not appreciate what I do. His words hurt with the comments that I am insecure, I have "problems" I am "crazy" I can't shake the words off. I am just sad.

          Comment

          • rcoreyus
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 4369

            Originally posted by Dragonfly
            What do you mean? What if he likes her attention? I am positive that he does! This girl is really pretty, pregnant and married what is she thinking? I am also pretty but I do feel threatened. I know I do have self esteem issues - but it does not help on how my husband reminds me everyday on my low self esteem.
            It is possible he "likes the attention", but that nothing inappropriate is going on. I'll admit it, its nice to have some seem to be attracted to you - even if you have not intention of acting on their attraction.

            There are women I know who seem to find me attractive. I find this very flattering. But - I have no intention of sleeping with them. Heck, there was one gay man who found me attractive - I found that flattering as well.

            I would expect some women would be flattered if an attractive man seemed to be (politely) interested in them.

            Comment

            • JubesInquest
              Veteran Member
              • Jul 2007
              • 464

              He's the one with the insecurity problem!!!

              He likes the attention of different women--- makes him feel like he's something special to them.

              For him to tell you that you've got problems b/c your dad left when you were young is just him masking the real issue.
              Your trust is low when it comes to him (I've read more posts from you to see that). You forgave for the act; but you didn't give him license to be a fool about it.

              He's wrong. Point blank- period.

              Comment

              • misskitty3
                Senior Member
                • Nov 2007
                • 108

                I'm honestly thinking that something is going on. not necessarily sex but emotionally maybe?

                his reactions to you asking him questions seem very childish. like if you say to a little one if they went bathroom in their underpants, and they get so mad and upset because they really did.

                on the other hand, he could be getting upset that you bring it up cause it really isn't a big deal. who knows unless he actually talks to you, ya know?

                don't back down. this is upsetting you and him. i know its easier said than done but you've gotta find out what's up. and my advice is not to say "if you two are just work friends, then that's ok" because he'll be adament (sp?) about repeating that back to you.

                good luck and keep us posted.

                Comment

                • Dragonfly
                  Member
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 71

                  My husband and I talked lastnight. He said that it is a dis-service that this girl is so pretty. He said that she is so beautiful that he can't be friends with her and he can't be friends in any attractive girl. ( he was pouting ) I told him all of my friends are very attractive and it wouldnt matter if this girl was ugly.. It is the fact that he has talked about her so much to me that makes the whole thing weird. He apologized and said that he is sorry. I still feel really sad. I still don't think he understands. Even with him saying that he feels sorry for her because she is so pretty - with that comment, I felt so ugly.

                  Comment

                  • Dragonfly
                    Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 71

                    My husband and I talked lastnight. He said that it is a dis-service that this girl is so pretty. He said that she is so beautiful that he can't be friends with her and he can't be friends in any attractive girl. ( he was pouting ) I told him all of my friends are very attractive and it wouldnt matter if this girl was ugly.. It is the fact that he has talked about her so much to me that makes the whole thing weird. He apologized and said that he is sorry. I still feel really sad. I still don't think he understands. Even with him saying that he feels sorry for her because she is so pretty - with that comment, I felt so ugly.

                    Comment

                    • Fallen1
                      Veteran Member
                      • Oct 2007
                      • 1937

                      Originally posted by Dragonfly
                      My husband and I talked lastnight. He said that it is a dis-service that this girl is so pretty. He said that she is so beautiful that he can't be friends with her and he can't be friends in any attractive girl. ( he was pouting ) I told him all of my friends are very attractive and it wouldnt matter if this girl was ugly.. It is the fact that he has talked about her so much to me that makes the whole thing weird. He apologized and said that he is sorry. I still feel really sad. I still don't think he understands. Even with him saying that he feels sorry for her because she is so pretty - with that comment, I felt so ugly.
                      I'm sorry, please forgive me, I hate to make judgments about people without knowing them but - I know he's your husband and you love him but he sounds like he can be a real a*s to me.
                      Last edited by Fallen1; 12-22-2007, 08:33 AM. Reason: Rewording
                      There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

                      Comment

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