[Stillness]

I think the answer is yes, because I don't care if it is.

I'm a very easy-going man. I've never been attracted to really prissy, make-upy girly girls. Some guys need arm candy, I'm not one of them. My wife pretty much does what she wants as far as dress and grooming and I'm cool with it. She's not overly vain, so we get along fine. I actually like much of what she does.

There is only one exception. I've got a thing about lips. I love them supple and am disgusted by them being crusty. They don't need to be painted or glossy, just not chapped. For years I've been asking my wife to stop biting her lips and to take care of them. It's literally the only single thing I ask. I don't trip out about her comfortable shoes or the fact that she's a meat-eater (which is disgusting, but I think people should eat what they want). So it burns me that she's completely unaware that her lips look like she's been stranded in the desert for days. Mine look fine and the only thing I do is put a little Shea butter on my face in the morning after I shower and shave. So it's not like I'm asking for something elaborate.

She comes to sit down with me and spend time together, but all I can see is those lips. Now she's mad at me because I told her. I know it's insensitive. I just don't know what to do. She kissed me the last time we were intimate and they scraped me. That's ridiculous.

[jns]

Your not going to win on this. Maybe if you let your lips get rough she'll call a truce.

I know how much fun it is kissing lips that are full and soft, so I know where you are coming from.

[Stillness]

I can't let my lips get like that. I sell. I have to look and feel a certain way about myself. She probably wouldn't care anyway.

[Something_Awesome]

Honestly, if all your asking for is the lips then that's not too bad. That's like the easiest thing to care for? I remember when I was little my mom always told me to stay away from women with thin lips. She said they would be bi_tchy (she used a different expression) lol. Maybe she was right. My brother married someone with VERY thin lips and he has someone who is very bi_tchy.

I guess she never shared her advice with him.

Edit: Stillness, it's pretty admirable that you're vegetarian. I am not, but my GF is. It's interesting for her because in her culture going vegetarian is sacrilege. She's actually just doing raw food right now.

[Stillness]

Vegetarianism is easier for me. I don't think there's anything noble about it.

[effy2014]

Still, expressing your preference is not being a jerk at all. I am sure that you did it in a loving way rather than asking if she had been stranded in the desert for days. She should want to know if there is something she does that completely turns you off just as you would want to know the reverse.

I agree with you on taking care of lips, but I'm a Bert's Bees addict (Hello Effy, welcome). It's a very small concession for someone you love. I hope, after getting over being mad, she does something about it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes you are a Jerk.

Just kidding.

It sounds like a habit and a long standing one at that, you can ask till the cows come home that won't work, just like you telling me not to smoke because you don't want to kiss a dirty ashtray, ewee just thinking about that poor D.

You need to find the method in which to approach it, not tell someone off and tell them it's like sandpaper to kiss you, that's upsetting.

It's a habit so how do you think you can help her kick it? Before she kicks you?

[DreamP346]

Am I a Jerk?

Put some Chapstick on and give her a kiss. It will transfer to her lips. Do this as much as possible.

And no, you are not a jerk. It's a very small request that involves her taking care of her own body.

[Something_Awesome]

I like the above. You would be kissing her more often and she would appreciate that. Very clever.

[Stillness]

Wow, sp! I wasn't expecting a possible solution that clever. I was mostly just venting.

I'm glad that women try to fix problems instead of just listening.