[jen1447]

Congratulations on Annabeth!!

[Euphoric]

Congratulations, sounds like your little angel already has her daddy wrapped. You had mentioned being worried about his participation, so I'm glad he is being proactive. That's a step in the right direction.

[jns]

Congratulations, Crystal. Love every minute with Annabeth.

My husband has been all over her, holding her, changing her, & asking me to make bottles so he can feed her & let me nap.

I can't understand why hubby cannot make her bottles by now. It really isn't that hard.

[Crystalblue]

Congratulations, Crystal. Love every minute with Annabeth.



I can't understand why hubby cannot make her bottles by now. It really isn't that hard.

Lol. I'm breast feeding & he's not lactating. I'm laughing at the image of him trying to make a bottle, though.

[jns]

If he was making a bottle, it would be of expressed breast milk which would have to be warmed to the proper level so as to not be too cold or too hot. Afterward he would have to thoroughly clean and sterilize the bottles so they could be refilled. Way to early for that now, my bad.

[Crystalblue]

The new baby has been doing great. She's healthy and the cutest little jelly bean. My husband has been very active helping me take care of her, even eager to help with diaper changes and getting dinner ready.

Part of me doesn't understand why he can be so different and I still feel like I'm stuck with all this hurt from him. Mostly I feel in my gut that he hasn't told me everything. My guess is that there were more people he acted inappropriate with, but is in denial about crossing any lines, or maybe that it was worse and he doesn't want to hurt me with the truth. I've tried so hard to tell him that I need complete honesty and transparency but he's not hearing me.

I start back up with my counseling next Monday, but I think I've been using it wrong. I've spent so much time trying to figure out what I can do to make him understand what I need in hope that it'll open his eyes somehow and fix him, but really I think my counseling should focus on what I want to make myself better for me.

I told my husband I didn't want to do marriage counseling any more until he had done some independent counseling sessions. I want him to look into his porn use and see if a sexual addiction is needing to be addressed and until he does his own self evaluation, marriage counseling is not going to work. I can't feel safe moving forward with him while I don't even know what we're dealing with.

I've done a little bit of writing and my plan for today is to write out questions that are still tormenting me. Why all the deleted texts and secrecy for so long if you were hiding sexting with a coworker from a year ago that you put a stop to afterwards? Why tell me you deleted everything because you thought I would interpret it wrong? I've seen him hit on people in front of me! How wrong are we talking? How many people have you flirted with or had an attraction for that may be leading to something more? What are the boundaries with people at work? How am I supposed to move forward with all these unknowns hanging over you plus knowing you will continue to have contact with the people I do know things went too far with?

I try to remember that he's trying and making a lot of changes, but being a good father is not the same as being a good husband. I'm guessing it's the easier path for him, so he doesn't have to face the guilt of what he's done to our relationship. It makes it easier for him to focus on what he can do right instead of all the things he's done wrong.

[jen1447]

I'd like to think that Annabeth has made him into a new man, and maybe she has, but it's also possible he's being such a helpful guy (at least in part) to score brownie points. It's kind of a bait and switch thing, like mowing the lawn without being prodded because he made an unwittingly unflattering comment about your bum or something like that. The two have nothing to do with each other but butt kissing is butt kissing.

I like your ideas about continued therapy and the list of questions btw.