[amy40]

I do not want to go to counselling; I just want him to say yes to sex and stop with excuses

[Stillness]

instead he went out to get a beer

It's easy for the partner with the lower sex drive to neglect the needs of the other. I think it may be especially so for men, because culturally it's believed that women don't have a sex drive like men. I've had female friends and old girlfriends tell me, "I have a sex drive like a man." You'd never hear a man say he has a sex drive like a woman. I think it can work against men with a higher sex drive too, because a wife can think, "That's just the way men are," and ignore it.

In any case, the person not getting their needs met needs to find a good time to talk and tactfully, but clearly and unemotionally express that they have sexual needs that are not being met.

[amy40]

unemotionally express

totally messed up on that as was very emotional as I felt hurt
felt so down today that after brought kid to school did nothing but binge watch TV
.......Lassie and Little House on the Prairie which were somehow relaxing

[amy40]

we talked more last night but I was also still emotional
had just went to get more Kleenex when he suddenly appeared and startled me
he had come back to talk more

thanks all for the responses!
am getting worn out from this topic so not going to add to this thread anymore
but others are welcome to

[briana fredrickson]

It's important that children understand their parents have feelings for each other and the parents need to show them without the children being embarrassed. However, cultural differences do play an important as in South East Asian countries display of affection are still frowned upon and this might difficult for a partner to understand if it is a mixed marriage where displays of affection in home and in public are quite common and would seem natural to one of the partners. Both partners need to understand this especially if the children are being bought up in a culture where public displays of affection are not very common.