[rcoreyus]

But how can you ever know that nothing is going on? All you can find out is that nothign was going on THAT TIME. Then if your spouse finds out you are snooping, it becomes a technological arms race - track covering software vs. track finding software. Since likely neither of you really understand the software, can you know what is really going on?

Most likely you will find ambiguous information. They had lunch together. Maybe some slightly flirtatious emails. Doesn't mean they are sleeping together - though they might be. If her emails suddenly stop, does that mean he us using an anonymous account somewhere. Did he clear the history on the computer just to speed things up, or is he hiding somethig. Was the Google search for "divorce" to answer a friends question or random curiosity - or is he thinking about it. Is he really the person posting as XYZZY to "Women's Health", or does that person just sound like him.

I really do understand the desire to know - but I just don't think is is possible to ever know that he is NOT cheating. You look and look, and eventually find something that convinces you that he is.

I agree that you have the right to check to validate the situation (if you suspect something is going on). If there's nothing going on, that's great, now back to life. No harm done. At least you are not living in doubt and distrust. You need the truth. I'd say trust your instincts.

[moonshadow48]

After thinking long and hard and reading your posts for help, I have decided that it is not worth it to continue to look around. It just drives me crazy.
I am looking at it as she lives in FL and that is a long way away. I am here. He has changed alot finally doing alot of things that he should have been doing all along. He is alot more considerate of my feelings and what I want out of our relationship. What my dreams and goals are not just his. Our sexual relationship has always been very good and has even gotten a little better too. I know it has only been a few months but I can see he is trying and I need to as well.
I am forgiving and moving on, I don't think forgetting will be as easy and there will probably always be things that hint at me. I have to trust again. However it will not be the complete trust I had before. I guess this was the for better or worse part..
Thanks for your help and I guess it really does help to be able to look at things from others point of views to help make your decision.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

At the end of the day? Only you know him....

At the end of the day? Awakening, is awakening and that part of lives is in the "soul"...

I have and will, do agree with Rcoreyus in as much as, we see a "red flag", we assume... And, that assumption is not necessily, the answer, ... I learnt that this week...

One day, down the track, seeing as your going down this road, he will explain...

I remember a Movie, not which one, lol, well? But, the desire and want that he always wanted, may very well be in you... And, the Movie? Well, she worked out, that what he wanted all along, was what he had, "before" in the younger days, so seeked, didn't want and found...

May you find and therefore, forget...

So Profound hey? But, Romance is made of these things...

You've been married a LONG time...

It is your decision in life at the end of the day.......

CW