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I can't stop touching this woman my colleague.

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  • I can't stop touching this woman my colleague.

    • I need advice. I have a very strange situation to handle.I donít know what to do? I am 53year old skinny short 5ft3 tall wrinkled face thin lips green eyes grayhaired soft butch single woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. I work at small accounting firm. Three months ago this new colleague started working there as a client manager. She is a 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette. She has very large (huge) breasts and she does have a big butt. She has has very olive skin. Most of her outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. She is always on high heels and full make up on. She is curvy, tall and busty, so many clothes tend to look sexier on her than on a thin person. She wears almost always her satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. She doesnít wear anything vulgar but because of her body type anything she wears looks tight on her. She is 5ft10 tall and and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes her HUGE! Standing next to me she looks like a giant. She is married for 18 years and she has a 16 year old daughter.

      On her third dayat work she asked me I I would give her a massage because she had a sore back. This has now turned into a semi regular thing. I go over to her office and massage her shoulders and back while she is sitting in her office chair. Often i rub her back with my both hands while she is standing as i stand behind her. On her 5th day at work i said to her that i just canít resist touching and stroking satin fabric because Itís just so soft and smooth to touch(that was just an excuse since she is always dressed in satin and silk clothes). She said that she doesnít mind me touching her clothes. So since then i am touching her alot on a daily basis. I giveher long prolonged tight full hugs around her waist from the front side or back. If sitting side-by-side at her desk working i am leaning against her. Also often i slap her ****** as a way of saying hi. Sometimes i hug her from the back and my hands will subtly go to cup her breasts a little. I often hold hands with her, whether Iím with her outside on the parking lot talking and weíre just standing there holding hands or whether weíre walking. Linked fingers, sometimes. I always link arms with her and walk leaning into her. I donít know if sheís just messing with me because she knows I like girls, if she genuinely likes me. After work the other day I saw her leave work with her husband and daughter and I nearly cried. It made me feel so alone going back to my empty apartment.

      As you can see, Iím all over the place. Any thoughts/advice? I am her only friend at work. Other women colleagues (all female workplace) donít like her. She is considered by these women arrogant, upper middle class, over dressed snob. They are hostile and rude towards her. I am obsessed with her. I look forward to going to work almost only because of her ( i like my job too, but she makes my day). I love the way her perfume smells, the way she walks, the way she talksÖeverything. And she doesnít really mind me touching her. Is there a possibility that she likes me? Iím just really attracted to everything about her, but sheís straight, and has a husband and a daughter. Should I tell her how I feel, or keep it to myself as to avoid making our friendship weird? I am very attracted to her. She says that she is 100% straight woman. What do I do? I hate that I feel this way. Maybe itís just strict body attraction? I just canít stop touching her. Often i place my hands on her breasts and move them in a circular motion while i am facing her. Also i always place my hand on her butt while i stand beside her. I constantly pat her lower back and touch her hair. I just canít help touching her. And I donít want to because sheís very straight. As i said standing next to me she looks like a giant. But for me the, taller a woman the better. I feel immensely attracted even standing next to tall,curvy, feminine women. Has anyone dealt with this? What kind of negative things can realistically come out of this? I am describing myself and this woman my colleague only for women here to understand the complexity of the situation. This is bothering me because I just canít stop thinking about her sexually. I am going through hell at the moment. Now Iím worried that this makes me a creep. I feel guilty all the time and hate myself for getting aroused by touching and rubbing this woman my colleague. I donít know if this makes me a predator. I donít want to be a predator. I would never force myself on anyone. This touchable woman my colleague is the kind of person who refuses to work on her own for longer than a minute. Not only does she have dozens of questions and comments about EVERY SINGLE THING she is working on, but she will ask them one by one, interrupting me about once per minute. There are other issues, like the fact that she routinely (read: almost always) misses deadlines which pushes my and my coworkerís deadlines out creating more work and stress for us. Oh and the ******** she does produce is almost always wrong so we have to double check everything anyway. She has good intentions but is a little needy. Over the last three months she constantly asks me for help with issues here and there that quite honestly take much of my time. I find myself helping her in some manner on 1/2 of her work tasks which has been getting rather frustrating.

      This touchable woman always asks me what I did over the weekend. She asks me ďDid you go out?Ē Or what did I do, where did I go, etc. It would be rather embarrassing to say that I didnít do anything of note, but then again, avoiding these questions is becoming increasingly difficult. I think Iím ugly and you can tell me Iím beautiful but I wonít believe it. And thatís my problem. Iím so firm in my views and I donít know what to do. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture. One of the things Iíve noticed over the years is that Iím always attracted to heterosexual tall curvy ultrafeminine women that I know are unavailable.

      Itís been a pattern since I was a teenager. There was this girl I was in lust (thought it was love then) with all through high school and I basically idolized her. The problem was I barely even spoke to her because I was so nervous around her. As a result I never really tried to date anybody else because I thought she was the one I was supposed to be with. This woman my touchable colleague is physically stronger than me. I am just a skinny, short, tiny, 53year old woman. She is always on high heels i am always in flat shoes. As i said standing next to me she looks like a giant. And I feel so guilty. I am aroused by rubbing her. I hate that i have grown accustomed to it. What is wrong with me? I often stroke,jiggle and squeeze her breasts and slap and rub her ****** , in a joking/playful way. She is okay with that. Am i taking advantage of her? I am so confused with myself and i donít know what to do.

      Iíve posted it on here in the hope someone can understand me instead of just judging me. My other issue with this touchable woman colleague is the fact that she is SO codependent and needy. She is SO incredibly sensitive but of course pretends she is not. Expecting me to talk to her at work as much as she does with me. She makes passive aggressive comments when I donít talk to her as much. I am not her boss and there was at least some communication between us that touch was okay. She said she is okay with touch, allows it, hasnít expressed dislike, she isnít avoiding me. There seems to be some understanding that we are both fine with how things are. Some people are okay with or simply like affection.

      Iím honestly more concerned that she may be taking advantage of me. Maybe itís not malicious, just how she deals with relationships. She might be giving favors to get favors. Some people are like this. It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning. On her third day at work she asked me If I would give her a massage because she had a sore back. She asked me around 2 other women co-workers. When she walks in the hallway i put my arm around her waist as i walk beside her. Also she often hold hands with me when we are leaving work walking to our cars.Some of other women coworkers notice our behavior and they have a confuse look on their faces. There is no HR at work. My boss is a very successful local business woman. She has built her company from scratch. My boss is a 51 year old woman who has been divorced twice. My boss has a policy of hiring only women over 40. Other 14 employees are women in their 40s and 50s. They are rude and hostile to this woman touchable colleague. Theyíre all mean to her and leave her out. Most of these women my co-workers seem to think she is a stuck up overdressed snob. When she smiles at them , some simply stare back . Others just stare at her like she is an alien. And so most of these women my coworkers stay away from her. Itís gotten to the point where even if she tries to talk to them, they usually blow her off and walk away.

      When this woman my touchable colleague speaks with other women our coworkers, she tends to be overly nice and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesnít help the situation. She is radiant and touchable to me. I place my hands on her at any occasion. I gravitate toward her like fruit fly on a banana. I am too sexually attracted to her. I just canít help myself because this is the way that I am, this is how my body react to her. Please donít be grossed out. I feel so guilty but i just canít stop touching this woman my colleague. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to some. I am ugly. I canít stand looking at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I will take long drives and just think about how sad my life is, how lonely I have become, the things I regret, and what I could have done differently. I do this a few times a week, drive and cry. It makes me feel better momentarily.

      I havenít been happy in years, I donít see any signs of it getting any better. I see most people getting excited for the weekend, but for me, I get depressed. I have no girlfriend. I have no one. I have friends, and I have had girlfriends and a long term (12 years) relationship, but only because people tend to like me when they get to know me. Iíve never received compliments on my looks. Itís like my whole life is a struggle because of this. I never feel great or like a winner. I keep no pictures of myself. Sometimes Iíll take some with my laptopís webcam or my cellphone, and when I look at them itís really painful. Iíve taken pictures from every angle and every single one of them looks terrible.

      And the problem is that I canít stand to be in any type of relationship anymore because of that. Iím 53 now and the last time I went on a date was 2 years ago. Some lesbian women Iíve known for a while seem attracted to me, flirt or invite me to activities, but I remember how they looked at me the first time they saw me, and it just kills it for me. Maybe Iím vain and shallow. I just canít get over it. My other problem is that since i was a teenager I am more sexually attracted to heterosexual ultrafeminine tall curvy attractive women. They turn me on. All the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I just did what a lot of other dykes seem to do and adjust to what the market has to offer. But for the past three months Iíve been obsessing over this woman my colleague. I developed really strong sexual feelings for her. There is no HR department(it is a small firm) but my boss covers HR issues at work. Iím wondering if I really am just a creepy pervert. Itís making me so anxious and I just really need some nonjudgmental advice. Iím really panicking about this. Iím severely attracted to this touchable woman my colleague and i canít keep my hands off her. Iím worried that Iím taking advantage of this woman. I didnít think much of it at first. She is objectively very attractive, much hotter than any woman Iíve ever slept with. She says that she is strictly hetero and that just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes her cringe. She is extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy Sheís hard to avoid since her office is next to mine. I always hug her in full frontal hug pressing my face on her breasts. Since my face is exactly the level of her breasts and she is rather large i find resting my head on them comforting. She is okay with that. She even said that her breasts are a readily-available source of comfort for me. Part of my problems come from sexual frustration i guess.Iím painfully ugly.I am short and skinny. I donít consider any of my facial features to be attractive in any way.Iíd think this is all in my head, but looking back Iíve never had a woman call me anything like ďcute,boyish , etc.Ē Is there anyone else whoís had a similar experience at all?I really donít want to be alone. Not with this.I want to stop touching her and groping her but feel like I canít.I am drawn to her. I am short skinny and ugly.My whole life i canít attract the women i find attractive.When i talk to feminine women who look better i always fail with and really get no attention with them either really even when i constantly put myself out there with them. It really sucks. Please be brutally honest.Do you think i am a pervert?I have realized that when I get a strong enough urge to touch her, itís like I become a different person.Why is the urge to put my hands on her so strong?I cant be the only soft butch dyke with this issue!!Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

    I need advice. I have a very strange situation to handle.I don¬’t know what to do? I am 53year old skinny short 5ft3 tall wrinkled face thin lips green eyes
    Last edited by jns; 06-10-2018, 06:04 PM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.

  • #2
    It sounds like this relationship is convenient for both of you. You get to be with the object of your desire though not to the degree you want to be. She gets someone who will defend her in the workplace and the massages. My opinion is that she is not a good employee. She doesn't know her job and doesn't seem to strive to get better. Her pushing her work on to others has probably caused part of the dislike of her by the others. An additional observation is that the physical relationship is inappropriate for the workplace.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by jns View Post
      It sounds like this relationship is convenient for both of you. You get to be with the object of your desire though not to the degree you want to be. She gets someone who will defend her in the workplace and the massages. My opinion is that she is not a good employee. She doesn't know her job and doesn't seem to strive to get better. Her pushing her work on to others has probably caused part of the dislike of her by the others. An additional observation is that the physical relationship is inappropriate for the workplace.
      I am tiny short skinny 53year old masculine woman.I am not tough and strong. I am not intimidating.I am physically completely harmless. I can be confidant in some situations and very very shy and nervous in other situations. When I feel like I have some authority or control over my responsibilities I can be very confidant, but when Iím outside of the workplace I lose my confidance. This happens especially when I interact with women I like. This woman my touchable colleague asks me how to do the same thing several times per day. It doesnít mean she is lazy just that sheís incapable, perhaps due to lack of experience or capacity, of performing to an adequate level.She is constantly asking me the most basic of basic questions. I feel Like I am her helpdesk at times.
      I am in this situation now; what do I do? She is very desirable which is why I am obsessing.Moreover, in the past I have scared women away for acting weird (nothing major or too weird) but enough where they werenít interested in me. I am just not good at talking to women; I get tongue tied and am not confident. What do you think? have you ever felt the same way? Am I creepy? (yeah I guess so)I am basically looking if someone could help me to cope with this situationÖ I just donít know what to do.

      Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.I donít know what it is, but ever since around high school heterosexual attractive tall curvy feminine females have been very uncomfortable around me.Does anyone relate to this or understand why straight women would get scared or creeped out or repulsed by someone so fast if theyíre not really a rapist? Can it really be facial features alone (really ugly wrinkled face)? What kind of outward behaviour will make them creeped out or repulsed?I am short and skinny.itís not like I randomly walk up to them and start touching their breasts or something. I at least know that that would be totally inappropriate.

      I am so sexually attracted to this woman my touchable colleague. Itís more physical than actually mental.She is an absolute ideal ten for me physically. Every time i see her walking around with those big massive breasts & butt cheeks swaying all over the place i lose control.She is so tall and big and soft.I just want to have sex with her I know itís wrong. And why is she allowing me to touch her and grope her? When my hands are on her she is just standing or sitting there laughing or not saying a word making stupid faces.

      Comment


      • #4
        I am not judging you. My comment on the physical relationship comes from three decades of sexual harassment training.

        I can understand your attraction. It is really not any different than my attraction to some women. And, she is not repulsed by you, so you must not be as bad as you think you are.

        However, pushing her work onto others is not acceptable and will build resentment quickly, especially in a small group.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • #5
          I don't think jns was judging you harshly at all, if you perceived it that way.
          Please understand that when forming our opinions of the situation for which you requested feedback, that is forming a judgement. An opinion. Most of us here will give solid judgements based on experience and observation. Most of us are not harsh or carrying resentment indirectly in our formed opinions.

          Our community here is pretty accepting, supportive and nonjudgmental. We will absolutely call it as we see it though.

          Are you outside the US?

          I think what's happening there is wildly inappropriate. That's part of why I ask if you are outside the US.

          I think you should end these habits, sooner the better. So much wrong here√Ī. This behavior needs to stop. I'm not criticizing you, I'm suggesting that you take a different path forward. If she has so little professionalism and respect that she behaves this way, it's up to you to make the best choice.

          Get some professional counseling to work on your self evaluation and help build confidence and feel better in your own skin.

          Encouraging you to see a counselor does not mean I think there's anything wrong with you. Everyone has some areas to improve and here's yours.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jns View Post
            I am not judging you. My comment on the physical relationship comes from three decades of sexual harassment training.

            I can understand your attraction. It is really not any different than my attraction to some women. And, she is not repulsed by you, so you must not be as bad as you think you are.

            However, pushing her work onto others is not acceptable and will build resentment quickly, especially in a small group.
            Thank you. I don't really know what i'm trying to achieve by posting here. I think i just want to tell this stuff to someone. Thank you for listening. I feel so much guilt over this but i am pretty certain i would never come close to actually harming this woman my touchable colleague. I hate myself for taking pleasure in touching,rubbing and groping her at work, but i find it hard to stop myself. I should note that I know that this is all a set up for failure. My mind hasn't been able to think straight in months.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by jns View Post
              I am not judging you. My comment on the physical relationship comes from three decades of sexual harassment training.

              I can understand your attraction. It is really not any different than my attraction to some women. And, she is not repulsed by you, so you must not be as bad as you think you are.

              However, pushing her work onto others is not acceptable and will build resentment quickly, especially in a small group.
              This woman my touchable colleague flirts with many of our male clients. She says that it is part of her job as a client manager (making clients feel better about themselves). She gets hit on a lot by guys, which makes women she is around jealous for some reason. She has an overwhelming amount of attention from men. Gosh how I want her! What do I do? At home i day dream about having sex with her all the time. Often when my hands are on her i get groinal responses. I know you can't help feelings of arousal, but what bothers me is i worry about letting myself enjoy them. So i feel like since i get my feelings of arousal from the groinal responses then i'm abusing this woman my touchable colleague. Is this normal or am i horrible?? I think i'm a monster.

              Comment


              • #8
                You're not a monster, you're not a horrible person, and if anyone is taking advantage of anyone here, it's your "touchable colleague."
                Stop beating yourself up over this!
                You say she's strictly hetero, and yet she lets you fondle her breasts in the office? Doesn't that seem strange?

                Comment


                • #9
                  My friend is a lesbian and she too is attracted to taller, curvier hetero women. We joke about it. I think it more than just attraction though. I think it's a "safe" fantasy that keeps her from having to pursue a real relationship because she fears rejection. She too doesn't see herself as attractive.

                  You are self-sabotaging. Your work crush is using you, yes. But she's irrelevant here. I will guess you have had other work crushes? The relevance is that you are self-sabatoging. Calling yourself ugly and unappealing is your minds way of making an excuse to not pursue healthy viable relationships. Think about it. Are you attracted to every woman you meet? I'd venture to guess the answer is no. So you should not think that just because every woman you meet may not be attracted to you that it must be because you are "ugly". I learned very young that I will "not be everyone's cup of tea", and that is perfectly okay!

                  Attractiveness is relative. I'm rarely attracted to the guys that women are swooning over. One of the guys I was most attracted to in my entire life was someone most other women did not find attractive at all but I was insanely attracted to him. Go figure, right? My point is, if every day you look at yourself and you tell yourself "I am UGLY. I am hideous. I am not worth anything. No one will want me. I am an ugly monster!"...........then guess what? People will see you as you see you.

                  I am curious if you grew up in a home that was accepting of your sexuality? Do you live in an area that allows you the freedom to feel openly gay?
                  "Be what you're looking for."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Texasred View Post
                    You're not a monster, you're not a horrible person, and if anyone is taking advantage of anyone here, it's your "touchable colleague."
                    Stop beating yourself up over this!
                    You say she's strictly hetero, and yet she lets you fondle her breasts in the office? Doesn't that seem strange?
                    Thank you. I am very grateful to you. Thank you for reading this, sharing has helped me already. What do you think I should do about it? This is really hard for me. I feel this overwhelming urge to touch and grope this touchable woman my colleague and it is for sexual gratification. She says that she is 100% straight and that even the thought of eating out a vagina makes her gag. Is she taking advantage of me? Whenever she needs help at work, I almost always make time for her no matter what. She is like a child, needing constant approval about anything she does. There's always guys flirting or asking her for her number. When she goes out in public guys start talking to her and subtly try to ask her out. She mentions that she has a husband but some of them wont go away. I do get away with groping this woman my touchable colleague all the time, simply because she lets me. I can just walk up to her and feel her breasts or grab her butt when ever i feel like it!! I routinely slap or rub her butt. I love to squeeze or jiggle her massive breasts(when no one is around). They are so soft and squishy. I love her height and her curvy stature. Standing next to me she looks like a giant. She dresses in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. She is always on high heels and full make up on.

                    This has been going on for over three months now. The most distressing is the fear that I am or will become a sexual predator. I spend lots of time every day ruminating over why I cannot be a pervert sexual predator, and why I could be. At times I'm convinced I'm a monster. I guess the point of writing this is to see if anyone can relate and set me at ease -- even for a little while!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I think you have to figure out a way to get away from this situation. You are a moth being drawn to a flame. I fear it may not turn out well for you. Is there a way you can do your job but be physically at an inconvenient distance from this lady? How about going on an extended vacation to let the emotions cool? A vacation would cause this lady to have to do her own work. Have you ever thought about dating again? I think some of the vulnerability to this lady was due to not having a fulfilling personal life.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Beautiful Disaster View Post
                        My friend is a lesbian and she too is attracted to taller, curvier hetero women. We joke about it. I think it more than just attraction though. I think it's a "safe" fantasy that keeps her from having to pursue a real relationship because she fears rejection. She too doesn't see herself as attractive.

                        You are self-sabotaging. Your work crush is using you, yes. But she's irrelevant here. I will guess you have had other work crushes? The relevance is that you are self-sabatoging. Calling yourself ugly and unappealing is your minds way of making an excuse to not pursue healthy viable relationships. Think about it. Are you attracted to every woman you meet? I'd venture to guess the answer is no. So you should not think that just because every woman you meet may not be attracted to you that it must be because you are "ugly". I learned very young that I will "not be everyone's cup of tea", and that is perfectly okay!

                        Attractiveness is relative. I'm rarely attracted to the guys that women are swooning over. One of the guys I was most attracted to in my entire life was someone most other women did not find attractive at all but I was insanely attracted to him. Go figure, right? My point is, if every day you look at yourself and you tell yourself "I am UGLY. I am hideous. I am not worth anything. No one will want me. I am an ugly monster!"...........then guess what? People will see you as you see you.

                        I am curious if you grew up in a home that was accepting of your sexuality? Do you live in an area that allows you the freedom to feel openly gay?
                        This community(where i live) is very liberal and has a high ratio of gays/lesbians in proportion to the overall population. I've never -- not even once, experienced any hatred or lost friends here because I'm lesbian. And I'm openly lesbian. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm strongly attracted to heterosexual ultrafeminine tall curvy women. The reality is deep inside I know that i am hideous looking , every time I walk past a mirror I feel a pang in my heart as I'm reminded what everyone else is looking at . Being an ugly short skinny masculine soft butch lesbian just leads you to a viscous circle which if your lucky enough will break one day but otherwise you will be in a dark pit for a lot of your life . I'm about 5'3", and when I'm out and about and look around myself on a typical day, most people seem well and truly taller than me (including women). I feel a kind of resentment, over having been born this height, identifying as a lesbian and being attracted to women, none of which I regard as my choice. I also feel envious of tall butch lesbians.

                        The very thought of politely expressing my affinity for tall curvy attractive ladies seems to go along the lines of me being a freak or perv with a tall curvy woman fetish. Am I only allowed to be attracted to ladies my height or shorter? Seems very restrictive. I like them all but prefer them tall. Is this wrong? By the way, this has been an issue for me since I was 12. My earliest sexual fantasies were about Sophia Loren.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm curious why you consider your attraction to a certain "type" a fetish? It's a preference, not a fetish. That's not uncommon at all.

                          Some people have a stronger preference for certain appearances. Others less so. I tend to have different taste in men than many women, as BD says. I'm often attracted to men that my friends are puzzled by.

                          Your self loathing is troubling quite honestly. Again, I hope you'll seek out a good counselor to help you through this. Until you gain some confidence, some self worth, I think you'll be unable to find strength to make right this situation at work.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jns View Post
                            I think you have to figure out a way to get away from this situation. You are a moth being drawn to a flame. I fear it may not turn out well for you. Is there a way you can do your job but be physically at an inconvenient distance from this lady? How about going on an extended vacation to let the emotions cool? A vacation would cause this lady to have to do her own work. Have you ever thought about dating again? I think some of the vulnerability to this lady was due to not having a fulfilling personal life.
                            I was thinking of going on a vacation to get away from this whole situation with this woman my touchable colleague. I literally can't keep my hands off of her. I've been having a rough time the past three months worrying about this stuff. I am a 53 year old woman and for as long as I can remember I have been attracted to tall curvy ultrafeminine attractive heterosexual women. When I was a teenager, the other girls were into boys. But me... I was always left out, and terrified. I already felt like a monster at age 11 or 12 or so when I first started going through puberty. Because I knew I wasn't like the other girls, and attracted to what they are. Am I just seeking validation for my actions towards this woman my touchable colleague?
                            Last edited by Gretchen1965; 06-11-2018, 08:15 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                              I'm curious why you consider your attraction to a certain "type" a fetish? It's a preference, not a fetish. That's not uncommon at all.

                              Some people have a stronger preference for certain appearances. Others less so. I tend to have different taste in men than many women, as BD says. I'm often attracted to men that my friends are puzzled by.

                              Your self loathing is troubling quite honestly. Again, I hope you'll seek out a good counselor to help you through this. Until you gain some confidence, some self worth, I think you'll be unable to find strength to make right this situation at work.
                              Why do you think that until i gain some confidence about my physical appearance i'll be unable to find strength to make right this situation at work? Please explain that to me. Please be brutally honest.

                              Comment

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