[kiaura]

Same Story ... sort of

I'm 36. From 13 into my early 20's I was extremely physically active and yes I had PM mood swings, but I always managed to get through it. Then I settled into a career where I spent all my time working on the computer and forgot dancing and taking care of myself. My stress level went up and I drank a lot of coffee during the day and had a nightly drink to put myself to sleep.

Sure it was lucrative, but I paid the price in therapy bills and through 1997-2000 was on Zoloft. I talk therapied my way out of needing Zoloft and was OK until 9/11 ... I had a nice view of lower Manhattan and had to cope with PTSD from that, I refused to go back on meds ... but I started drinking heavily.

I was functional, but between stress at my job minus stress reduction measures on top of drinking too much consistently ... oh not to mention smoking ... even if I bothered with vitamins ... I just wasn't absorbing them. Every horrible PMDD symptom described here applied to my state of mind for 2 weeks out of every month.

The summer of 2007, I met my soon to be husband and he insisted on some changes if we were to consider a life together. While it required a difficult career change that took adjustment and some serious self-reflection, I started pulling myself back together. I quit smoking and drinking excessively in combination with regular exercise and taking so many B vitamins that I'm sure I pee most of it out. It wasn't a quick lifestyle change, but rather something that took a lot of work with numerous setbacks.

So here I am now in 2010 and finding it both comforting and disconcerting to see the label of PMDD. I am not saying that anyone has brought PMDD upon themselves ... but anecdotally I believe the symptoms can be directly attributed to environmental factors rather than to an inherent disease.

BTW while I was on Zoloft for a bit, I only tried birth control hormones for two months (not in combination with Zoloft). Even though it was the low dose, I woke up crying every morning when I was on birth control. While I fully understood that yazz commercial when it came out ... I just couldn't fathom that hormone therapy could alleviate PMDD.

My monthly symptoms still consist of extreme anxiety, lack of self esteem (who am I kidding self loathing), clumsiness, bloating, breast tenderness, rage, unexpected outbursts.... you all know what I mean. The difference now is that it only lasts for 2 days instead of 2 weeks. Two days is manageable ... I can put them aside and know not to make any important decisions and stay calm ... as it will pass.

Given the health risks involved in using birth control as hormone management, I'm sharing my story so that, anyone reading looks at all of the factors that could be contributing to symptoms PMDD and takes control of them. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who helped me through this and hope to pass some hope along.

[lelah36]

I thought I was losing my mind!

I have been reading and I feel better knowing I am not the only one feeling this way.

For the last few years I have been horrible. I fly off the handle, I yell at everyone, I am ALWAYS angry and get really nuts and all around my "time".

But then a few days into it I am sweet and loving again. But those 5-8 days before my husband is running in terror from me. I am a monster and I have no idea why? I feel it building and it is like it has a mind of it's own. I feel as though I have to hide from myself during that time of the month.

It has caused my husband, which is a sweet and good if not great guy to be scared of me. I thought it was because I was a scorpio? No, it is PMDD. I was reading about all of you and I feel better in a way. Knowing that this is treatable is calming me in ways only some of you will know.

I hate losing my mind and feeling as though I am not me. I hate that monster that comes out and lives in this house and terrerizes my family that I love so much.

My husband has moved out cause he is scared of me and the way I act. I lose control and make everyone miserable for those days every month. It has gotten worse over the years also, that makes me hate myself more everytime. But not knowing what it is makes me want to jump off a bridge! We are working to see what is making me like this, he wants to come home to me. Not that monster that moves in once a month like a bad house guest that never leaves!

The diet thing looks good, but I think that I might need more then that. I was on zoloft for depression, but I was always depressed. It made me a little loopy also. So, I am looking into prozac. Plus herbals look good. I will be going back to the gym also, always loved that.

I am so happy to find this site and I hope we all find a way to live the way we should without that awful feeling we get that takes over for those 5-10 days a month and we forget who we are in everyway. Be strong ladies, we will win!

Love ya all and take care-Lauri WE CAN BEAT THIS!!!!!!

[lelah36]

Update on progress

Hi ladies,

My OBGYN helped me and I am so glad the diagnosis was PMDD. I went on prozac I feel alot better then I have. I know its coming and I dont feelas though the monster will be coming out anytime soon. Plus, I have terrible insomina during that close time before that time comes closer, but she gave me xanex. Been sleeping so great at night.

I have hope when there was none before. Sleeping better not anxitious as much and feel way less "on edge" as I have been for so long. I never liked taking and SSRI's but I am greatful I did. Plus keeping busy helps. Excersice is also helping out with that "jumping out my skin" feeling I had with the other symptoms. Down the road if if gets worse before better I am going on Effexor, less time in blood stream and does not bind to the proteins in blood. I heard that is better and might do that down the rd. but that is in time. I just want my husband to see I am that same loving person I was before the PMDD monster moved in to our home. She is a messes up guest to have inside ya know!

I think I might make it this time and I am not scared of myself anymore as I was those 10 days or so before my menses. I will update evryweek, so far controlling anger and sudden out burst then before. Kids are still driving me nuts. But at least I don't go off as I did for the smallest things.

I hope all of you are doing better. I know how it is to be scared when that time is coming and that feeling that comes on so slow until it takes over.

All of you take care and I hope you can feel as good as me. Luv ya all cause we are all in this together! -Laurie

[Fruitcake]

Hello Ladies

After reading these posts I decided to register in the hope you could share your wisdom with me.

I've suffered hormonally and emotionally with my periods for many years, but always mid cycle, at ovulation time.

Things are getting much worse for me, worse to the point 2 years ago I walked out on my husband and my kids, he's still bringing them up. I'm now at a point I can't maintain any friendships or relationships because of my behavior. I'm living with my mum for 2 weeks of the month for my own safety, I WOULD harm myself if i didn't have someone with me. I am incapable of any rational thought or act.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year and although this affect periods could this be a separate issue?

It's on it way again, I've cried all the way round the supermarket today, I feel low, worthless & tired.

I've not been to the Doctor about this but i'm going to see him next week, I can't go on like this. Is there anything anyone can suggest to make me heard & any suggestions what help I can ask for (meds or counselling)

Thank you for reading

[proshka]

Im so glad I am not ALONE!! Like all of you I suffer PMDD, this month has been one of the worst I have had in a while. YAZ has helped me a lot, i usually only get crazy for about 5 days bf my period with the Yaz, and I know about my symptoms so am able to do the whole "mind before matter" philosophy. I can actually feel my hormones SWING and my mood changes, indeed it is like a monster, at one point i decided to re-search border line personality disorder, bipolar, and all the other stuff it can be mis-diagnosed for, the one day my FEMALE doctor told me to relax bc it was PMDD, this was after tracking my symptoms for three months. So yayyyy, im only crazy for a few days out of every month.
The hardest thing about PMDD is the people around me, my family and friends who dont have it and who dont understand it - I have 7 dogs and they show me unconditional love no matter what (which is a big help) bc human beings just make me feel worse about myself, and while I know its hard for them to deal with me, its so much harder for me to deal with myself. My mother especially really makes me feel like (IM 30 YEARS OLD) imagine that - she will scorn me and say, well i hope your not PMSing when we go on our trip bc i dont want you to ruin it for me! These words really cut into my heart bc she has no idea what i deal with, i feel so alone and have started to take a lot of pills for my anxiety and also drink with them, sometimes going to sleep is the only thing that makes me feel better - then i dont have to deal with the people around me or myself. I also feel guilt and shame bc i know that I am not being myself but have absolutely no control of my outbursts, my feelings of anger, irritability or emotions - PMDD really sucks! I havent had such a bad month in a very long time..........
i feel as if im going CRAZZZYYYYYYYYY

[proshka]

I have been reading and I feel better knowing I am not the only one feeling this way.

For the last few years I have been horrible. I fly off the handle, I yell at everyone, I am ALWAYS angry and get really nuts and all around my "time".

But then a few days into it I am sweet and loving again. But those 5-8 days before my husband is running in terror from me. I am a monster and I have no idea why? I feel it building and it is like it has a mind of it's own. I feel as though I have to hide from myself during that time of the month.

It has caused my husband, which is a sweet and good if not great guy to be scared of me. I thought it was because I was a scorpio? No, it is PMDD. I was reading about all of you and I feel better in a way. Knowing that this is treatable is calming me in ways only some of you will know.

I hate losing my mind and feeling as though I am not me. I hate that monster that comes out and lives in this house and terrerizes my family that I love so much.

My husband has moved out cause he is scared of me and the way I act. I lose control and make everyone miserable for those days every month. It has gotten worse over the years also, that makes me hate myself more everytime. But not knowing what it is makes me want to jump off a bridge! We are working to see what is making me like this, he wants to come home to me. Not that monster that moves in once a month like a bad house guest that never leaves!

The diet thing looks good, but I think that I might need more then that. I was on zoloft for depression, but I was always depressed. It made me a little loopy also. So, I am looking into prozac. Plus herbals look good. I will be going back to the gym also, always loved that.

I am so happy to find this site and I hope we all find a way to live the way we should without that awful feeling we get that takes over for those 5-10 days a month and we forget who we are in everyway. Be strong ladies, we will win!

Love ya all and take care-Lauri WE CAN BEAT THIS!!!!!!

Lelah36 --- Ur post was great bc i too am a Scorpio and tend to use it as an excuse for my behavior. Sometimes its just easier than explaining it to people who will never understand what we go through. Good luck with your family and this monster that is PMDD, Im not sure how you feel about birth control, but YAZ has helped me tremendously, just an FYI

[NO_MORE_PMDD]

There is a solution!!

There is a solution!!! IT’S SIMPLE AND EASY. I WILL GET TO THAT – BUT FIRST A BIT OF MY STORY.
Started my period age 12. Signs of depression – very noticeable at age 15. Went into a bit of an isolation from my friends. Worked the whole summer and was pretty much a loner for a period of time. As I reflect, I felt a large majority was spent operating at a lower frequency – but there were many times that I wasn’t depressed. Started BC Pill age 16 – became sexually active. As I got older, I really started to notice the emotional roller coaster I was on each month. By 2004 I decided to go on seasonal birth control (period every three months). I thought at least I would only roller coaster every 3 months. Life was pretty hectic in 2004 and up until 2007. Consisting of divorce, loss of my grandma (closer to her than my real mother), career change, first time living alone, and in 2007 my mother’s suicide in my pool couple with the real estate market crash – my source of income as well as my investments. By the end of 2007, I was having night sweats, insomnia, hot flashes, feelings of utter despair – depression, lack of luster. Blah in general to the max! My shrink decided I needed ZOLOFT to heal my post traumatic stress disorder associated with the suicide. I went on it – it caused worse insomnia. By early 2008, I decided I needed help from a doctor. I was referred to one by a friend. They drew blood – testosterone and estrogen came up extremely low. They put me on a hormone therapy bio- identical hormone administered through a pellet. This is placed just under the skin and the body pulls from it what it needs. They say it can last 3-4 months depending on the patient. I was still on Birth Control pills – which is a form of synthetic hormones (progesterone and estrogen). At this time my progesterone levels were not tested. In about 3 weeks – wow! I felt better – dramatically better. In about 2 more weeks – I had put on 15 lbs. WHAT??? I ran, swam, lifted weights for years. I was in great physical shape. Doctor said it was water retention caused from the estrogen – he gave me a water pill. The weight did not come off. I was irritated but feeling better. I decided NO MORE estrogen. I had a few more supplements of testosterone. It bothered me that I was dictating what the doctor should use…it just felt wrong. I decided I would have to keep searching for an answer. By the end of 2008 insomnia came in full force – I tried over the counter remedies and NOTHING WORKED. I was desperate and decided to seek again for help. I found a doctor to run saliva work and look at all the hormones. That sounded like a better plan. My tests came back – very low progesterone and some other things as well – that aren’t pertinent to the PMDD story – but also part of the puzzle to finding optimal health. She took me off the pill immediately (April 2009). She was in utter shock an MD would put me on bio-identical hormones while taking birth control pill! She also prescribed some bio-identical progesterone cream (very low dose). I didn’t use it right away. The first two months my cycle was 28-30 days. It seemed ok. Then about the third month – HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! WHAT WAS HAPPENING? It was subtle at first. I felt out of sorts – irritable, anxiety, feelings of despair – wanting to bolt, to run away. Like an injured animal goes to die alone. As the months came, I was scared. The devil or something similar to it was going to possess my mind and my body for anywhere from 5-10 days. I tried the cream one day – against advice from my acupuncturist. He said the symptoms were from progesterone deficiency but that it would pass eventually. I got to a point where I was having suicidal ideation. Really!! It will just pass – when??? I asked him at what point does it go from being a thought of suicide to an action. I mean I was out of my mind – I wanted to die!! Every month was more and more severe! WTF was happening. Frantically, I researched and researched. I knew it was estrogen dominance (low progesterone to estrogen balance) so I took a little more cream – it helped a little but not near enough to bring me comfort during those really tough days. I was determined to solve this equation. To fix this horrifying event that was occurring. I finally found a doctor (he’s in a different state than I) who wrote a book on how to cure the PMDD. He described everything I was going through and why. He also gave me all the answers to cure it and how to do it myself. AMAZING – it was a simple cure. I was not taking near enough progesterone. I was taking almost 100 times less than what finally was my dosage to cure the symptoms. I ordered bio-identical progesterone right away. Jan 2010 was my first cycle on the higher dose – NO PMDD.
Through trial and error I have come to realize that I have to take large doses to stay alive – living with the severe PMDD I had after coming off BC pill was not an option. I am now seeing a local doc who has ordered my salvia which concludes I am still not producing enough progesterone – and I likely never will. It seems that I never did before the BC pill (hence the feeling of low frequency all my life) and after being on the pill for 20 years – the damage is done.

The good news is there is a solution – it works! I wonder how many relationships I threw away, jobs, etc when I was possessed by the PMDD. If I could put together a timeline and line it up with my cycle over the last 37 years….I bet I could connect all the dots to irrational behavior. Now I know – puzzle solved.

Feel free to send me a message – I would be happy to give any specific details to my experience! GOD BLESS!!

[NO_MORE_PMDD]

Aks your doctor to test all your hormones. Look very closely at your progesterone and estrogen - I cured my PMDD with natural progesterone supplementation, but if you are on BC pill you are not able to take it.

[lindsay_florence3]

help a girl out

Hi my name is lindsay and i had a question. I have not been to a dr for this exact issue because i honestly an terrified of drs. Here is my story please let me know if it sounds like pmdd:

I started my period when i was 9 and always had really severe symptoms: Cramps, bloating, heavy bleeding, headaches, body pain, mood swings-major, tired,worn out completely, anger, crying jags, wanting to punch someone.....

I am now 22 and after years of different pills and other birth control i am on a generic seasonale. With this pill i only have 4 periods a year.

The problem is i may not have the symptoms 12x a year and only 4 now i still have the screaming, feeling, like i cant breathe or function or even want to get out and that is not like me at all. These symptoms are now lasting for 2 weeks before my period as well as the week of my period... So 12 weeks out of the year i dont want to be with anyone or do anything.

I guess i need to know if this sounds like pmdd if it does ill do my best to go in and get checked out

also what can i tell my boyfriend? We have been together for almost 6 years but just moved in together and this will be the first cycle that he will see me be like this in person. Before i would be at home and we limited the time he saw me... He didn't understand today when i had to call in sick to work bc i woke up scared and started to cry, i had to call a gal pal to get her to make me feel better about my choice not to go in.... Not to mention my symptoms aggravate a past surgical site on my wrist the pain is bad when ever my pms flairs up it is just painful....

Sorry this is so long i just need some female advise...

[NO_MORE_PMDD]

PMDD - It's real and it's treatable

It does sound like you are suffering from PMDD - it's the jeckyl and hyde thing. I too had that and I too was on the generic form of seasonale. For me the solution was to get off the pill and support myself with bio-identical progesterone - which is the deficiency likely causing your experience. I suffered for years and when I first got off the pill I really suffered because I didn't know how to supplement correctly with the progesterone. There is a book called the cure for pms - you can buy it online. It saved my life. I recommend you find a good doc....what state are you in?