[chaya]

My regular GYN sent me to a another GYN specializing in painful intercourse. If I had known it was a man I wouldn't have gone, it was so embarrassing during the exam and talking about it with him.

He examined me, internally, with a special TV like device and thinks I have a very small cyst on my fornix vaginae. It is at the very end of my vagina and very hard to see. When he touched it with a probe, I almost jumped off the table. His theory is that with deep thrusting, pressure in this area would cause a lot of pain.

He took a biopsy and I won't know the result for a week. If it is a small benign cyst, like he thinks, he said it could be removed with laser treatment. Since I've had the symptoms for a long time, he doubts it is cancer but wants to make sure before treatment. I'm going for a MRI tomorrow.

He numbed it when he took the biopsy but on the way home it started to hurt, so much I had to pull over and walk around. It hurts more when I'm sitting. Hubby will be disappointed to hear that I shouldn't have sex until this is resolved.

[Little]

I'm sorry that meeting with the new doctor was embarrassing, but I'm excited for you that new light is being shed on your pain issue. Your husband should be excited that you are being treated and hopeful that you will be able to enjoy sex fully again soon.

[chaya]

The doctor called today and said the biopsy was clear. He wants to remove the cyst through surgery. He said there would be a lot less chance of it growing back that way. Since my school has started, I'll have to wait a while to schedule it.

Hubby hadn't had sex in a week because the doctor had told me to wait, he was ready last night. I've never seen him so ready, hard as wood. Lucky for me he only lasted 3-4 minutes. He told me that if he goes more than 3-4 days without sex his testicles start to ache and it is hard to sit in his patrol car all day. I'm not sure I believe him because I was his first sex partner and he never masturbates. What did he do before we started sleeping together? Maybe it was getting sex regularly for almost 2 years that got him that way.

Nothing has changed with me, sex is still painful with deep penetration and and last night he was out of control.

[Stillness]

I hope that it works. My thinking is: Why isn't their pain on the rare occasion that you're in the mood? Since you don't experience pain when you are aroused, wouldn't lack of arousal be the problem? Is this barely perceptible cyst causing the lack of arousal? If it's not, why start cutting?

Please don't mistake this for medical advice or discouragement from having the procedure, this is just the kind stuff that I think whenever people propose feeding chemicals or cutting into me or my loved ones.

Let us know how it goes. My wife's doctor recently recommended having a cyst removed and she decided to hold off. Then, not a month later they wanted to take a biopsy in her breast because they "saw something." She consented with that and it was nothing. It wasn't major, but they invaded her body, had her in pain and discomfort, caused us to miss work, and they got paid for nothing. Part of me felt like she turned them down on one procedure so they came up with something else.

Also, blue balls is a real thing, but he might be exaggerating the pain a bit. Sexual frustration can make everything unpleasant though. And yes, getting used to sex, being married and being around a woman all the time can make the desire stronger.

[ItsASecret]

Since you don't experience pain when you are aroused, wouldn't lack of arousal be the problem?

It is certainly possible. With the lack of arousal you get a lack of lubrication, that lack of lubrication can lead to friction and tiny cuts and tears when sex occurs, and those tears become the reason that sex can be so painful. A lot of women will get that chain of events all because there was no time taken to make her feel comfortable and aroused prior to the actual penetration. It is an unfortunate situation but that is how it goes in many relationships when the man just wants to get the sex going.

Is this barely perceptible cyst causing the lack of arousal? If it's not, why start cutting?

It is possible to be a contributing factor to lack of arousal if the cyst becomes inflamed and irritated during sex or any other act and thus causes pain that would result in a lack of arousal due to that pain. However since the biopsy came back as clear that means the cyst is not really doing anything concerning, it is just 'there' with the potential to still cause problems though. The reason they want to remove it is because it could grow larger which can cause more pain later on, and removing it rather than just burning it will reduce the chance of it coming back.

My wife's doctor recently recommended having a cyst removed and she decided to hold off. Then, not a month later they wanted to take a biopsy in her breast because they "saw something." She consented with that and it was nothing. It wasn't major, but they invaded her body, had her in pain and discomfort, caused us to miss work, and they got paid for nothing. Part of me felt like she turned them down on one procedure so they came up with something else.

And what if it did turn out to be something? Procedures like that are called precautionary measures because they can be something. No one knows until the lab tech looks at the sample under the microscope.

[Stillness]

And what if it did turn out to be something? Procedures like that are called precautionary measures because they can be something. No one knows until the lab tech looks at the sample under the microscope.

I know what the mindset is, IAS. There was no indication that anything was wrong other than some miniscule dot - no pain, no elevated levels of anything, no expanding mass, no branching filaments. It was so small that the pinpoint biopsy removed all the tissue. There are possibly things that could maybe go wrong all throughout our bodies. Why not stick ourselves all over and take a zillion tissue samples? These people do some good work, but some of this stuff is sales. I know it and recognize it because it's what I do for a living. You can't slick a slickster. It's not an issue in general because all commercial enterprises have to sale. Where it does become an issue is when fear tactics turn into compromised bodily integrity. Put up a billboard talking about how your clinic is the greatest, don't tell someone they might have cancer.

[chaya]

I have always experienced discomfort with deep penetration. As I remember it become worse or I became more aware of it, after being married for 6 months. When I could get aroused and was orgasmic, the pain didn't matter, it might even have added to the excitement and pleasure.

I'm aware of the need for proper lubrication. It is true that when I'm not aroused, I need to use a lube especially at the start. I have experienced what might have been tiny cuts from lack of lubrication, but this discomfort is at the the entrance and not deep inside.

The doctor said the cyst is hard to see from examination but the major part is on the other side of the vagina wall and was about 2 cm in diameter.

I can only hope that removal of the cyst will stop the pain and allow me to have normal sex without fear. I'm open to the idea that this fear could be responsible for my loss of libido.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Not much to add Chaya other than so glad someone took the time to find the issue

I think your husband just likes having sex with you That's a good thing...

[jns]

Hubby hadn't had sex in a week because the doctor had told me to wait, he was ready last night. I've never seen him so ready, hard as wood. Lucky for me he only lasted 3-4 minutes. He told me that if he goes more than 3-4 days without sex his testicles start to ache and it is hard to sit in his patrol car all day. I'm not sure I believe him because I was his first sex partner and he never masturbates. What did he do before we started sleeping together? Maybe it was getting sex regularly for almost 2 years that got him that way.

Getting sex regularly for quite a while can be part of it. Your husband sounds like he really didn't masturbate before marriage. There are not many guys like that, but there are some. When they finally break loose, they have a lot of energy. If he is producing enough semen for strong ejaculations every day, he could well be uncomfortable after 4 days without release. Sitting in the patrol car would be uncomfortable in that case. Maybe you could use your hands if he allows it. Being brought up religious, he may be against spilling the seed.

Best wishes on the finding and removal of the cyst. Hopefully your libido will return when you no longer have the pain.

[chaya]

This Friday is the big day, I'll be going to the hospital to get the cyst removed. I have to check in the hospital early in the morning, they will do a MRI to make sure of the location and plan the procedure. If everything is OK, they will do the operation in the afternoon. I might get to go home Friday or might have to stay in the hospital overnight.

I just got over my period today, my poor husband will only get sex for 2 more nights, then no sex for I don't know how long, maybe weeks. The doctor said there would be sutures that will have to be removed. I didn't ask how long that would be. If I have sex the night before the operation, will the doctors be able to tell? I would be so embarrassed if they could tell that I had sex the night before, like seeing his sperm inside me.