[Lymphocyte]

I don't know why, but every month, about a week-couple of days before my period, I panic that I'm pregnant. It gets to the point where I will go out and buy a pack of 3 pregnancy tests, use them all, get 3 negatives, and still panic because I think I'm pregnant.

Does anyone else get this, or am I just weird?

[Stillness]

My wife just sent me a message today telling me she's not pregnant. And she's on her period! And she's never been pregnant.

I don't understand it, but if my wife is representative of some of the female minds out there, you're not unique.

[effy2014]

My wife just sent me a message today telling me she's not pregnant. And she's on her period! And she's never been pregnant.

I don't understand it, but if my wife is representative of some of the female minds out there, you're not unique.

Are you guys trying to have a child?

[Stillness]

No. We don't want them. But we don't do anything preventative. We've been doing it this way for over a decade and even before we weren't taking strict precaution.

I thought my wife was over the anxiety because of the fact that I've never gotten her pregnant. Apparently I'm wrong.

[effy2014]

That's interesting Stillness. The mother of my twins was my high school sweetheart. I was a "religious" condom wearer and, despite that, we had a few scares. When we wanted to have kids, there was a big surprise . . . she had significant fertility issues. It took heavy duty drugs to get her pregnant. All that worry . . . .

My current SO could get pregnant anytime, even at 43 when we met. She hated condoms and I refused to take the risk. Ended up getting her tubes tied when she had a fibroid zapped.

[Stillness]

Yes, one or both of us has issues. We had one possibility where the doctor's test initially said pregnant, but then the serious test came back with a hard "no". It made the other seem flawed, but a miscarriage is a remote possibility.

So we've had one "maybe, but probably not" after all of the natural love-making. I ejaculate in her every single time too. You'd think she'd be at peace.

But then you here about those miracle babies that come in an "infertile" couples old age. One of our friend's brother got his wife pregnant after 20 years. She went to the doctor for malaise or something and she was 8 months. My wife's mother claims that she was pregnant with her and still got her period. My obgyn cousin tells me it's not possible, but I think that somehow feeds my wife's fears. And I guess that fears don't even have to be rational.

[calibri~]

I have this fear also. Always have a pack of preg tests to put my mind at rest. (I was on some meds that meant I had to do a preg test every month, rain or shine, so to speak, and guess I don't consider it weird to check.)...as soon as the fear creeps up on me, test, negative, chill out, then period starts usually the next day!

[shoshannah]

I have always gotten a bit apprehensive around the time I finish my active pills, but definitely nothing like panic. When DH and I first started having sex, we both got nervous just before I was due, but as time went by and I never got pregnant, our nerves got less (though have never gone away completely). Once we were married we were less worried still. Nowadays, since I have baby fever, I wouldn't be upset if the pill failed, so it's more apprehension than worry or fear.

[KMonte85]

If I'm supposed to get my period on the 23rd day, I better wake up THAT MORNING being on my period or my mind starts to wander!! But I only get apprehensive if it's the day I should be getting my period or after, not really anything earlier than that unless I haven't been careful!

[Stillness]

Here's what I don't understand. Pregnancy results from sex. It's been that way for a really long time.

If you're having unprotected sex and you absolutely don't want and are in no position to have children, then your actions are inconsistent with your desires. I can see slipping up once or twice, but over and over? How do you live like that?

If you want to protect yourself and you are doing so reliably, why fear? Why live like that?

I realized very early on that I like sex a lot and nothing was going to stop me from getting it. I also realized that pregnancy could result. I'm at peace with that. A large percentage of babies weren't planned. The world did not collapse when they came. It won't end if you make one? Why all of the worry and agitation over something to which the entire human family owes its existence?