[JustAman]

As a man, I must say that there is no more beautiful a creation than that of a womans body. Small, slim, thick and large,.. they all have qualities that command admoration. I personally feel that as your husband, as you his wife, have an obligation to one another to satisfy and fullfill each others needs, emotionally, mentally and physically. If one is willing to do so for the other, and the other not reciprocate... it's a dead end street. One cannot do all the giving and expect to have a healthy productive relationship. It has to be 50/50. OCD.... what ever.. meds... excuse.. sorry for being so abrupt.. but if you TRULY love the one you are with, you will do what you have to do to make that person know that you love that person. And if you love is that deep, as mine is for my wife.. no pills are needed, her happiness is the only prescription I need to cure what ails me.

[cassie66]

thanks all he wont go for therapy. no he doesnt thinkhis own bits are dirty, he always wants metodoit all to him. yest wll notdo anythig for me. i have asked so many times. he keeps saying its wrong. imat my wits end. itried to expalin i have needs and its not dirtybut he wont listen. i cant force him.

[JustAman]

If he won't work with you, and try to understand, or at least compromise.. I say it's time to cut and run.. unless you want to spend the rest of your life miserable and wanting more. I couldn't imaging sex without oral,.. that's like peanut butter and no jelly. I service my wife EVERY time, and vice versa.. and sometimes that's all we do. I'm so sorry cassie, and I mean that sincerely.

[Guest]

thanks all he wont go for therapy. no he doesnt thinkhis own bits are dirty, he always wants metodoit all to him. yest wll notdo anythig for me. i have asked so many times. he keeps saying its wrong. imat my wits end. itried to expalin i have needs and its not dirtybut he wont listen. i cant force him.

If I may be blunt...Lemme get this straight...He believes YOUR bits are dirty and disgusting yet believes his own is beautiful and deserves YOUR attention!

OCD or not, he knows what he is doing....

Honestly, I don't know what to say other than if he is unwilling to even TRY you have a long heartbreaking road ahead of you!

[Ashlee T.]

You're right, you can't force him.......and even if you could it would surely take away your pleasue by knowing you had to force him and knowing that he wass disgusted throughout.

My advice, give him a taste of his own medicine. Boycott his "bits" as he has yours.....and say "ya know what honey, you're right, genitals are disgusting, dirty and gross....and I just can't bring myself to touch yours either. I'm glad we finally agree."

And then I'd question your happiness in other areas of the marriage. Does this man make any effort to fulfill you in other ways? Is he emotionally stimulating? Do you feel loved by him? Ask yourself those questions.......

[JustAman]

I"m sorry for being so blount also... but this poor woman is not getting the love, affection and attention she deserves... she needs to bail and find her a man who will love and appreciate her for who she is. As a man, I can tell you this, most men would love to have a woman with the level of desire you have, Me personally, my wife has a very high sex drive and I still can't get enough of her.... but I love her and would do anything I can or could to keep her satisfied, emotionally, mentally and sexually. You can't give and give and it not be reciprocated... your being used as a sexuall object and not respected and loved as a partner.. you deserve that.

[Ashlee T.]

JustAMan - Amen to that. How could anyone in that situation keep any self esteem? I'd rather be lonely alone, than to be lonely with someone that is supposed to love me.

Cassie... girl, if he doesn't care enough to make an effort at changing this behavior, then I think most of us agree that you deserve SO much more!! The longer you put up with this, the more it is going to negatively effect your self esteem and soon....you'll think he's right and that you don't deserve that kind of love. But YOU DO!

[Guest]

JustAMan - Amen to that. How could anyone in that situation keep any self esteem? I'd rather be lonely alone, than to be lonely with someone that is supposed to love me.

Cassie... girl, if he doesn't care enough to make an effort at changing this behavior, then I think most of us agree that you deserve SO much more!! The longer you put up with this, the more it is going to negatively effect your self esteem and soon....you'll think he's right and that you don't deserve that kind of love. But YOU DO!

Def agree!!!!

[lolabug]

maybe you should try to do the guilt trip say if you love me and you wanna pleasure me like i know you then you will do this for me that always works for me

[Phoebee]

I have a friend whose husband has Aspegers (Not sure of the spelling) syndrome. It might be worth going into therapy to at least talk this out.

As to the idea of being "clean" for him. My DH is not squeamish about doing oral sex but he admitted that having me shaved made it go from needing to be talked into it to wanting to do it. He said that having pubic hair stuck in his teeth or caught in his throat was really unsexy *Which makes sense I suppose...

Anyway, I'm not saying to go bare just to try it but... If he is borderline? BTW you might have to be a bit proactive. Tell him how much you would enjoy this. Maybe get a copy of the better sex video series that talks about oral sex. Its "tasteful" and may encourage him in that direction. I know it helped with us...