[Reborn Angel]

I figure this is an odd question for someone who is 21... but what is sex? I know the whole idea of it... but my boyfriend and I have both been raised to not have sex until we're married. I was wondering, then how far is sex? Oral sex counts... right? what about touching? Thanks for your answers!

[Little]

Different people are going to have different answers to this. For me, "having sex" is consensual vaginal penetration.
Debate away ...

[Guest]

In my marriage....

passion, about looking at each other the same way you did all those years ago you married. Something you use to strengthen your marriage, something that is a very powerful act between two people. Showing your partner in life that you to this day desire to make them happy.....

[Reborn Angel]

I heard that oral sex is sex because it has it in the name... but is touching each other the same? Is that sex too? Or is it just vaginal penetration, as Little put it . (so many new terms... very odd sheltered back ground, where I wasn't allowed to so much as look at a man... so all of this is new)

[Guest]

Well, to me oral sex would def be considered "sex"...*shrugs* You are in fact being intimate with that person...

[Little]

Well, if I were to go up to my best friend and say "I'm having sex with Tom Cruise!" she would get a mental picture of rhythmic motion between the sheets
Many people's definitions of sex have to do with religion, and I assume your upbringing outlawed sex for religious reasons. I'm willing to guess your parents would be pretty upset with you to find out that you had oral sex before marriage. It's your choice, your definition, but it does come down to the scrutiny of others.

[rcoreyus]

So many definitions, I think the limits are:

1 Something so intimate that you would be upset if your boyfriend / husband did it with another woman.

2 Something that might get you pregnant.

There is a world of stuff inbetween. The best might be something that would make you feel guilty. I'm afraid you need to decide for yourself since different people have such different ideas.

Based on the reaction of the public to Bill Clinton, maybe you need to count oral as sex.

[Reborn Angel]

Ok, thanks for the feedback!

[SinisterUrge]

IMHO (and longtime readers will know that views of sex are so liberal as to be to the left of Lenin....)

Vaginal Intercourse: yes, this is sex obviously. If your hymen/maidenhead is intact: you're a virgin. If not you aren't. If you broke your hymen doing something non-sexy (like riding a horse) you are technically still a virgin, but your sex partners won't believe you (and who the heck rides a horse anymore?). And in some African countires you can be killed for that. So don't go there. Also note that virginity has nothing to do with consent: If you were raped, you have my sympathies and condolances but you're not a virgin anymore.

Anal sex: Yes it is sex, but believe-it-or-not you have two sets of virginity: you have your virginity and your anal virginity. Vaginal and anal sex have nothing to do with each other and even men have metaphorical " cherries".

Oral sex: Oral sex is kind of limbo. It isn't technically sex (nobody could possibly get pregnant from it), but in the hands of skillful practitioners oral sex is far better than penetrative sex, at the very least there's a lot more variation to oral sex.

Mutual Masturbation: Masturbation isn't sex, its masturbation. Duh!

And now for a brief primer on sex and the bible (if your jewish, wiccan, or anything else you can skip this).

*Oral sex among unmarried couples is bible approved [Song of Solomon]
*Female masturbation is not covered by the bible.
*Male masturbation is only wrong if your not screwing your wife (unmarried guys whack away)
*Woman on woman action is not covered by the bible.
*Man on man action is a Leviticus abomination. Thus only applies if you're a Jew (they also can't eat shrimp or wear clothes that are a cotton/rayon blend.)
*You can covet other men's wives only if they aren't jewish.
*A woman can only sleep with one man (her husband) but men can have multiple wives, or unmarried consorts.

Seriously ladies, why on Earth do you think being Christian is a good idea? At the very best you're a walking uterus. At the very least you are ed to (or limbo) because women can't go to heaven in some churches. Pastafarianism at least doesn't force you to not sit on any chair a man might use for seven days after the start of your period. And yes, that is a legitimate Bible rule.... remember in high school when you sat in the same chairs that everybody else uses? Yup, you're going to already.

[SinisterUrge]

Thanks to the insanely overprotective word filters....

Anal Sex: That should end with "BUTT cherries"

and for the sex/bible primer

*At the very least you are DARNED to HECK (or limbo)

*Yup, you're going to HECK already

Good to know anal sex, santorum, and 'pole smoking pillow biter' are all better than the uncensored HECK and DARN