Okay, so im 20 years old, and a year and a half ago I was raped. It wasnt like, full out violent rape, he just wanted what he wanted and he didnt care that i said no, took it anyways and acted like he did nothing wrong. I spent a year and a half in therapy, and worked through my issues in that time. Then i met this guy, lets just call him D. And hes older, just got out of prison, and the first time i met him, and he looked at me with those sex eyes, i was lost, and he took the time and patience and understanding and sensitivity, and worked me through everything. When i first met him I had issues even with just basic touching even, and now I'm pretty much fine with sex, I've grown to LOVE it, haha, and before I couldnt even enjoy it, thought i was broken.
ANYWAYS...point of my story, I'm positive im allergic to condoms, they really hurt me, irritate me, make me sore and raw and itchy. So we stopped using them (im on the pill) I know he was also seeing other women, but he told me he used condoms with all of them, and only trusted me enough to not use em with me cause he knew he'd been the only man I'd been with since the rape and Id bin checked. So I never thought much of it. Never worried too much. Well recently we stopped seeing each other and I had sex with a guy I havent seen in years, and even tho im allergic, i was honest and told him id been with another man without protection, and i hadnt been to my dr's yet to be checked out, so i was protecting us both, and made him use condoms, and he kept trying to take it off but I kept stopping him, and towards the end, he switched my position and took it off without my knowing, and didnt tell me til he was back inside me. At the time I wasnt really mad, but he lives in a town that is Chlamydia capital of our province (literally....theres bin studies....) and hes sort of known for being a man ...So now i wonder who else hes in without protection...and now i have to worry til i go get checked. And if i have somethin, im gonna FREAKIN lose it!
I guess theres no real point to this, no questions, im just frustrated and needed to vent to someone who might understand why men are such friggin dicks! I mean, maybe i was sposed to be a man, cause i see things like, "it is what it is" and theres no need to act any different after getting what you want, you should be happy, not awkward or dickish! And why is it SO hard to keep a rubber on?? I mean im allergic, so im gunna suffer afterwards, and I still use em regardless that it sucks hardcore for me!! Grr...thanks for listening...
ANYWAYS...point of my story, I'm positive im allergic to condoms, they really hurt me, irritate me, make me sore and raw and itchy. So we stopped using them (im on the pill) I know he was also seeing other women, but he told me he used condoms with all of them, and only trusted me enough to not use em with me cause he knew he'd been the only man I'd been with since the rape and Id bin checked. So I never thought much of it. Never worried too much. Well recently we stopped seeing each other and I had sex with a guy I havent seen in years, and even tho im allergic, i was honest and told him id been with another man without protection, and i hadnt been to my dr's yet to be checked out, so i was protecting us both, and made him use condoms, and he kept trying to take it off but I kept stopping him, and towards the end, he switched my position and took it off without my knowing, and didnt tell me til he was back inside me. At the time I wasnt really mad, but he lives in a town that is Chlamydia capital of our province (literally....theres bin studies....) and hes sort of known for being a man ...So now i wonder who else hes in without protection...and now i have to worry til i go get checked. And if i have somethin, im gonna FREAKIN lose it!
I guess theres no real point to this, no questions, im just frustrated and needed to vent to someone who might understand why men are such friggin dicks! I mean, maybe i was sposed to be a man, cause i see things like, "it is what it is" and theres no need to act any different after getting what you want, you should be happy, not awkward or dickish! And why is it SO hard to keep a rubber on?? I mean im allergic, so im gunna suffer afterwards, and I still use em regardless that it sucks hardcore for me!! Grr...thanks for listening...
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