[ThexMrs]

Here is the deal... I started talking to a man online in May of 2008. After two months and hundreds of hours on the phone, he told me that he was in love with me. In November of 2008 I agreed to meet him because my feelings for him grew very, very strong. I was falling in love.

Prior to our meeting we had sexually explicit conversations as well as exchanged sexually explicit photos and videos. Through that period he talked about how he would please me sexually in great detail.

Well... When we met we decided to have sex. It was NOT AT ALL what I thought it was going to be. Everything he had said did not actually happen. I gave him oral, hand jobs and the actual sex but didn't get that in return. In fact, I didn't even have an orgasm.

My question is, was he all talk?

I know that he was nervous as was I. That is part of why I didn't have an orgasm the few times we had sex besides the fact that it didn't last long.

Please help me figure this out.

Oh and by the way... We are still going strong and are happy.

[WildChild]

Why are you still going strong and happy? It's a fantasy based relationship. Even though you'd talked extensively, you probably moved too quickly on the sex but it's hard to say. There is really only one way to find out.

[Richard S]

Having a thing is a different experience than wanting or fantasizing about it.

Doing stuff on-line is a way to meet people. It's a way to supplement the physical, in-person relationship. It's not a substitute for that. Except when it is. Favoring virtual relationships to real ones is a trap. A trap many people fall into these days.

It was inevitable that there would be a period of adjustment, and it sounds like everything is going fine.

[Guest]

I don't think this kind of relationship has to be totally fantasy. I mean they did talk extensively and I realize there's no Human contact that is but you can really get to know people in a great way. It's know different than the old days when we wrote letters in that since. The Chat seen make it different some because its live but it's still the written word.

Now the sex thing, yes it can be totally fantasized to a great degree.

But if you feel close to him, and enjoy his company this is something that could possibly be worked out.

Can't help but feel the nervousness of it all made somewhat of a difference. Now if he told you he would do certain acts or positions then don't that's a different story. He could have talked all that up just to get you in bed.

There's been a few time when I couldn't get it up for a long time. Like the time that I had a threesome, it took me forever to become relaxed. I was uncomfortable about being able to perform but finally I came around.

Good Luck to ya!

[acerousme]

honestly...I dont think there is anything wrong with this. He was probably scared! His attraction to you is just....super strong....That can happen. He was probably SO nervous that he just...couldn't preform, and so he fumbled.
It happens.

He's probably not all talk....give it time.

[ThexMrs]

Why are you still going strong and happy? It's a fantasy based relationship. Even though you'd talked extensively, you probably moved too quickly on the sex but it's hard to say. There is really only one way to find out.

I don't believe that it's a fantasy based relationship at all. It's a long distance realtionship, no more - no less... For now. After talking for 6 months I met him and we had sex. That's not moving quickly to me. It wasn't like we had a one night stand. We are together and we are flying back and forth to see each other until we decide when and if we are going to move.

[ThexMrs]

Oh... I'm not sure what you mean by "Why are we still going strong and happy?" Our relationship is great. It was just that the sex wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Maybe a little more background is needed for anyone who reads this to really understand.

I lost my virginity at the age of 20. April of 2008. I have had sex only a handful of times, literally. Just five times. Maybe it's my expectations and not even him. I don't know. That is why I posted this thread.

[ThexMrs]

Having a thing is a different experience than wanting or fantasizing about it.

Doing stuff on-line is a way to meet people. It's a way to supplement the physical, in-person relationship. It's not a substitute for that. Except when it is. Favoring virtual relationships to real ones is a trap. A trap many people fall into these days.

It was inevitable that there would be a period of adjustment, and it sounds like everything is going fine.

I don't do online relationships. I want to make that clear. This was something I didn't expect at all. I always told myself that I would never be one of those people who date online. I didn't believe that it was real, AT ALL. He proved me wrong. My intentions were not to meet him, ever. I can't help that my feelings grew for the great person that he is. I wouldn't change it.

[ThexMrs]

I don't think this kind of relationship has to be totally fantasy. I mean they did talk extensively and I realize there's no Human contact that is but you can really get to know people in a great way. It's know different than the old days when we wrote letters in that since. The Chat seen make it different some because its live but it's still the written word.

Now the sex thing, yes it can be totally fantasized to a great degree.

But if you feel close to him, and enjoy his company this is something that could possibly be worked out.

Can't help but feel the nervousness of it all made somewhat of a difference. Now if he told you he would do certain acts or positions then don't that's a different story. He could have talked all that up just to get you in bed.

There's been a few time when I couldn't get it up for a long time. Like the time that I had a threesome, it took me forever to become relaxed. I was uncomfortable about being able to perform but finally I came around.

Good Luck to ya!

I don't want to sound naive by the statement I am going to make but... The sex was not pressured. We were kissing and it just came up. He said prior to coming out that if I needed him to prove that he loved me that we wouldn't have sex. While we were together and it came up I did say that I wanted to. He asked me repeatedly if I was sure and I said yes. I don't think that he just wanted to get me into bed, at all.

I think you are right that he was just nervous. Maybe I should just talk to him about it. That's really the only way to know I guess.

Thank you. I found your post the most helpful.

[ThexMrs]

honestly...i dont think there is anything wrong with this. He was probably scared! His attraction to you is just....super strong....that can happen. He was probably so nervous that he just...couldn't preform, and so he fumbled.
It happens.

He's probably not all talk....give it time.

thank you! :d