[kenturah]

who cant reach an orgasm not matter wat. when i am having sex after about half an hour its like all the feeling has gone away.am i the only one?

[hubby]

Strange you are asking this question. I have a similar post just above yours. I am not sure if my wife is able to have an orgasm. It may be due to lack of experience/understanding for us both or it could be a physical limitation.

Are you able to orgasm through masturbation or oral sex?

[kenturah]

masturbation nor oral sex has helped me reach and orgasm niether has my bf fingering me helped in either way i have tried almost everything that i can think of my bf has even went to by all means to toss my salad that was great but it didnt give me an orgasm. sorry for all that info

[hubby]

Nah, not TMI. Hmm, maybe trying too hard. Do you feel anxious when you are going at it, where you are thinking about the orgasm and when it will happen. From what I understand you really need to relax and take your time.

We should probably let the experts chime in here as we are the ones in the dark.

I almost feel bad that it is so easy for a guy.

[kenturah]

i honestly do relax am come and collected it gets me so frustrated that i dotn want to make him feel like he shouldnt be pleased so i hit him off and do wat i do for him because i love to make him happy and he trys in amy way to do the same for me but its just not working out for me hubby

[countrygirl49]

I've read that 1/3 of women do not achieve the big O from sexual intercourse alone. I am one of them. Even after going at it for long periods of time, I don't get there. After such a long time I actually start to get dry... Anyway, I always have to use a bullet vibrator on that one "sensitive spot" to achieve O.

In the beginning my fiance thought he wasn't big enough or good enough and I had to explain to him that a lot of women just don't get there by sex alone. I even mentioned that some women before me may have just been faking it, because he said most he had been with, had. Anyway, we talked, and it gradually became easier to play with myself while having sex, and less embarrasing. We can't do all positions like that, but the ones we do we have worked out well. Now, when we do it like that we usually O at the same time so that's nice.

It takes patience, understanding and trying different things. Spice it up a little, try new things, and try to relax-it becomes easier over time.

I hope that wasn't too much information. LOL

Good luck!

[mewhenim]

if you are relatively new to masturbation you may not be properly stimulating the clit. I don't think I was having proper orgasms untill I got a vibe with a clit flicker (rabbit)

[kenturah]

thanks countrygirl no not tmi that was some what helpful


mewhenim i have that toy and it doesnt work for me either

[WildChild]

Quite a few women appear to be disconnected from their sexual responses. In studies where brain activity and other physical responses are monitored, these women are found to be experiencing orgasm physically but are unable to "feel" it.

I think this is very much like the work that has been done with vision - people can't "see" something they have no frame of reference for. In classroom they have used a film of a group of people having an increasingly heated disscussion, the students (who are told this is about eyewittness accounts)are asked what happened and then are asked if the saw the gorilla. Very few will have seen that half way through a gorilla had walked through the scene. Because it was unexpected and irrelevant to the rest of what was happening, the brain simply failed to respond to it.

The mind and body are amazing and we are really just being to understand the complex interactions and reactions that occur. Did you know that your body will react to stimulus such as pain before the brain even knows about it? So how do you get your responses lined up so that you can feel and have this wonderful experience?I have my own idea that a lot of this is the result of childhood conditioning, being told not to touch 'there', being given the idea that is, 'dirty' or 'wrong' and that nice little girls don't touch themselves and enjoy it.

You will have to reprogram yourself. Relaxing is probably part of it. What does feel good? Try relaxing by yourself and later with your partner and rather than sex just focus on what feels good and feeling different sensations. A massage, fingers lightly trailing over your skin - not just your girlie parts, all your body can be an errogenous zone. Try feelings of hot or cold, being touched by things that have different textures. Note what and where you feel. Focus in the 'good' feelings, this should start making you more aware of your body and your responses. You will have to work at bringing this to your sexual ressponses. Some good resourses would be Drs Vera and Steve Bodansky's books on Extended Massive Orgasm and another book that comes out of the same group, One Hour Orgasm. A good starter might be The Orgasm Loop. You might want to check out the Welcomed Consensus, they have a number of DVDs on female orgasm and masterbation. Getting educated is a good idea and should help break down the emotional barrier to your pleasure response.
Good Luck. Practice lots!

[kenturah]

thanks wildchild