[Heatwave]

countrygirl49 - how long did it take you to get used to playing with yourself in front of your partner? I have never been given an orgasm by someone else other than myself, and I know that playing with myself during sex would help but it still feels too personal. However, after two years of being with my boyfriend (who isn't a big talker) I'm getting really frustrated with not getting off when he does every time.******* type="text/**********">vbmenu_register("postmenu_78774", true);

[countrygirl49]

Well, within the first couple weeks I was with him we talked about it. So at least it was in the open. After that point I just started including using my bullet when we had sex. I don't use it every time because there are just some positions that don't work for me as well. But I would say that it only took no more than a month for me to become completely comfortable with it.

Have you talked with your bf yet? Or is he not around when you do it yourself? That would be my first suggestion, to talk to him. Just let him know that it's becoming frustrating for you and that you want to experience an orgasm with him. Let him know that it might be a bit uncomfortable for you both in the beginning, but that you'd like to try it. If you don't want to talk about it first, maybe you could just suggest that you would like to use your toy at the same time you are having sex. Or, if you don't use one, maybe suggest trying one, trying something new. I know that it would take me a lot longer and I would become frustrated (and probably not have an orgasm) if I didn't use one.

Anyway, it does take a little time. In the beginning it might take a little longer to reach climax, but as you become more comfortable together, the better it will be. I hope this helps, if you have other Q's just ask! And good luck.

[Heatwave]

That was encouraging thanks. Why do we get the periods and all the major reproductive processes AND have more trouble reaching orgasm?! There must be a heavenly afterlife waiting for women I tell you.

[countrygirl49]

Ha ha. I totally agree. There MUST be something awesome waiting for us!

[MissLyss]

Kenturah-

I was so relieved to find your post. I'm having the exact same issue-- no orgasm, ever, except in my sleep. Have you ever had one in your sleep? I've posted about it a bit on this board; it frustrates me because I know my body is capable, but by myself, and with my boyfriend, I feel like I'm getting NOWHERE. I have no problems with desire or anything like that, but I am stressed, looking for a job, and on anti-anxiety meds- are you on any medications?

I think all the talk about how hard it is for women to orgasm and how the slightest thing done wrong can ruin all the work put into it psyches me out. I didn't care about orgasms until my boyfriend felt so bad that he wasn't making me. Now, it's starting to frustrate me a lot. So don't worry, you're not alone!

What also drives me crazy is when I look up "how to get a girl to orgasm", they're all like, "ask what she likes!" I don't know what I like! Nothing seems to work!

Hehe, vented a bit. The point is, you're not alone! We'll figure it out!

[kenturah]

....

yes i have reached an orgasm inmy sleep but wat would i give to reach one awake

[Digitalmom29]

I have never had an orgasm in my sleep before, but it sounds wonderful. I occasionally have a climax when having sex with my boyfriend. The only difference is, he knows I have trouble reaching an orgasm and (approx. 80% of the time) does as much as he possible can to try to help me reach climax, but still usually, nothing. We'll be in bed for hours, I'll enjoy every minute of it, but in the end, no cigar! Most of the time I end up having to handle myself in order to reach full enjoyment. I'm beginning to wonder, if what's going on with me is not mental, but physical. I get myself all worked up in and during the sex hoping for an orgasm, just to be let down in the end. I mean, what can I possible do at this point?

[WildChild]

Ladies you simply MUST get the book, The Orgasm Loop! I'm multi orgasmic and can cum just doing a few kegels sometimes. When I read this book I realized that she is describing things I've done for years. I did naturally, you can learn, it isn't complicated or difficult!