[rcoreyus]

Don't forget that anal works both ways. If he is pressuring you too much, suggest that he try it. Some men really enjoy being on the receiving end.

[iheartmyman]

this is the best ever lube EVER! when coconut oil is refrigerated it gets hard and you can break off small chunks and insert them anywhere right before you start your sexual routine. its messy and it melts. you get lube where you need it most inside then evey time it gets even a tiny bit uncomfortable have him use more on himself. anal gets better with practice. you have to relax and it really helps if you have a vibrator on your clit at the same time. the best part about coconut oil is its a natural safe gentle lube.

Agreed. We have been using coconut oil for a few years and it is the BEST thing we have ever used. I don't think it's compatible with condoms though.

[Talitha]

Me and my boyfriend started experimenting with this a few months ago, the results in fact lead me to this board in the first place.. to post an embarassing thread about what I was experiencing the days after having it. (Feeling air passing from there the next day with no indication it was going to be there... so embarassing situation for me. It got better after a couple of days and things went back to normal but I think it kind of relaxes the area for a little bit after having it)

I had the same experience, it was very, very embarassing. And I was with my boyfriend... ALL DAY, so there was no way he wasn't going to hear me doing it... I just tried to make as much noise as possible to try and cover the sound lol. Turned on the music, the tv, opened windows... Lol.

I did feel a pressure toward my vagina while he was inside me back there that felt good and I tried to focus on that feeling and the turn on of doing something so different and it kept my mind off the physical pain of it.

Same here.

The pleasure I experienced was almost the denial of pleasure... I was so wet and turned on and didn't have him where I craved , but oh so close to it, pressing against it which was a turn on in and of itself.

That's exactly the same feeling I get. Even though I don't have him where I want, it still feels really good and just gets me more turned on, hehe.

But the last couple times we did it I also pushed a finger inside of my vagina because it just wanted to feel it so bad.

Good idea. Think I'll try that next time. Hehe.

[golden_nemesis]

Interestingly enough, I had my first anal experience this weekend after having participated in this thread. And I wasn't even the one to bring it to the table, though I have been curious about it. Friday night my boyfriend had a party at his house, and after everyone left he was feeling... frisky. He pretty much jumped me. We 69ed for a while, and I couldn't help but notice he was paying more attention than usual to my bum, lots of rimming and finger penetration. He does both from time to time during oral, but not nearly to the degree he was going at it on Friday.

We switched over to vaginal sex (from behind for a while), but again, he did a lot of finger penetration, and was applying lots and lots of saliva in the process. I had a pretty good idea of where this was headed, so wasn't all that surprised when I felt him pull out of me and press against my butt. He paused and asked if it would be okay. I was ridiculously turned on at the time, knew he was very well lubricated from vaginal sex (I get very wet), and he had been getting my rear moist and loose for a while. I gave him enthusiastic permission and away we went. Maybe it was because I had had a couple of beers (No, I didn't even feel tipsy, but it might have helped me relax) and was very very aroused, but it was entirely painless and didn't bother me in the slightest. It also probably helps that my partner is on the slender side in the girth department, and he is not circumcised, so there is less friction involved in penetration.

Had an impressively intense orgasm from the anal penetration and from him reaching around to stimulate my clit. All in all, it was definitely something I would try again. But my partner made sure I was very ready for him through lots of finger stimulation, and turning me on like crazy. I also knew that he would stop everything if I was in pain or just didn't want him to. I might also suggest a drink or two, like I had, not enough to dull you to pain, but enough to loosen up your muscles and lower an inhibition or two.

And for us, saliva applied liberally to the area in question and some of my own natural lubrication were plenty, but that may not always be the case, so always have lube handy, I'd say.

So don't give up, kms, if you want to keep working on it, but don't feel like you have to do anything that causes you pain and discomfort.

[WildChild]

I have found that to be the case as far as lubrication too. But I wouldn't recommend that for everyone - some of us are juicier than other I think!

[rcoreyus]

If he is up for it, it will give him a better impression of what it is like - and convince him of the importance of going slowly . As far as toys - just tell him to go to a toy store and get one that is about the same size he is [quote=kms;85413] Also, for those of you who suggested HE try it, he's actually interested. I've found a few toys for men that he liked, so when either of us gets some extra money we'll get one and see how it works. With my luck, he'll probably love it and have no problems whatsoever

[kms]

First off, thanks everyone very much for all the helpful replies! You've all given me a lot to consider and try.

golden, thanks for sharing your recent experience - makes me feel more encouraged to try again. I also agree that prepping the area first and using my own natural lubrication is probably a much better way to go. That night I had just brought up the subject and we basically jumped right into trying, so I was more unsure and tense than I might have been after being completely prepped and turned on first.

Also, for those of you who suggested HE try it, he's actually interested. I've found a few toys for men that he liked, so when either of us gets some extra money we'll get one and see how it works. With my luck, he'll probably love it and have no problems whatsoever

HD, thanks for the detailed explanation on your experiences, that helps quite a bit for me to get a better sense of what to try, what to expect, and what to focus on. I like your explanation that it makes you feel turned on because he's NOT where you want him. I'll also try to focus on the spot near my vagina to see if that helps as well.

SinisterUrge, thanks for the advice about likely needing to go to the bathroom to relieve the lube. I think that's what was happening; I felt something in there and automatically wanted it out! Perhaps simply know what's going on will help me overcome that feeling however.

Coconut oil - that sounds like a great idea! That's relatively easy to find and I'm sure it smells great too. I'm sure it's much better than the warming lube idea, haha.

He definitely doesn't want to do it if I don't want to or feel too much pain - my participation and enjoyment is essential for him. The issue the time we tried it was that it slipped right on in without either of us meaning it! I think the suggestions some of you made for me to be in charge of working it in is wise. That way I can go at my own speed and feel more part of the process, and won't feel as shocked or surprised as it goes in; I can anticipate it a little better.

Ok I think I responded to everyone, and forgive me if I didn't, all of you had such good ideas and advice!

[tammyduc7]

anal is the best !

So I did an old thread search and saw that there are some threads discussing anal sex but most of them are really old so I thought I'd throw this out here again.

Basically, my bf, being very into butts, is also very into anal sex. He really wants me to do it with him since it's a big turn-on and I would then also be "full option" as he put it. We did do it more than a year ago when I was drunk and had no recollection of it - except I woke up with a very sore butt that lasted for like a week (doing sit-ups was not pleasant during that time, lol). I'd rather do it now fully conscious so that I can be an active participant - so we tried it the other night. We got all lubed up and he slowly started putting it in. The problem occurred when it just suddenly slipped in really fast - oh my goodness the feeling was horrific!! It really felt like (sorry to be graphic) diarrhea in reverse, so much so that I felt like puking. It was such a weird, horrible feeling. We also have warming lube so it started burning in there too - and then I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, except I didn't think I did... anyway, he made me stay with it, telling me to relax, and slowly it started getting better and it was ok - without him moving that is. Then he started moving it a little bit and the reverse diarrhea feeling was back in full force, ugh. We tried this a couple of times but mostly the experience consisted of just getting it in and letting me adjust to it, not much movement. Nevertheless, I'm sure my neighbors weren't too happy about my screaming from the pain and shock, lol (even though I tried not to!).

He was soo happy afterward and was so excited that we had done it and was telling me how much he appreciated me and loved me and whatever - so he was flying high while I was feeling actually really depressed. I've read up on anal somewhat and it seems that a lot of women really like it. I just wonder if I would ever get to that point, and HOW, because I think it would be difficult to get over the mental block of KNOWING that it will be painful. So I was feeling bad because I wasn't sure if I could get to the point of being able to do it freely without audibly and visibly showing the pain. And, honestly I don't know how I can learn to associate the feeling of diarrhea and sexual pleasure together... yet still I don't want to refuse to do anal sex simply because my first real experience was painful - there are a lot of things that are hard and painful when we first try them (like regular sex lol), but it gets better each time. So, I'm willing to try, especially since it's sooo important to him.

Anyway, I'm wondering if any of you have had an initial painful experience with anal sex but it's gotten better - and if so, how did you help it get better? Are there any tips, techniques that I should try?

I defintely advise any woman to try anal sex ! I love it ! have your man to break you in by starting with his pinky finger and slowly working up to large fingers.Make sure you have lots of lubrication and patience.When he is done with you,you will feel like your whole body has been ed and you will be i such peace that you will feel like sleeping for days. Oh,yeah !

[tammyduc7]

Married 25 years and hot for anal.

Me and my boyfriend started experimenting with this a few months ago, the results in fact lead me to this board in the first place.. to post an embarassing thread about what I was experiencing the days after having it. (Feeling air passing from there the next day with no indication it was going to be there... so embarassing situation for me. It got better after a couple of days and things went back to normal but I think it kind of relaxes the area for a little bit after having it)

Anyhow, We've made a handful of attempts at it randomly and only a couple were "successful" as in , him being able to enter all the way. It was painful and I was embarassingly loud too, but I don't think it was as painful as I always worried it would be. It hurt, but was tolerable. I did feel a pressure toward my vagina while he was inside me back there that felt good and I tried to focus on that feeling and the turn on of doing something so different and it kept my mind off the physical pain of it.

1/2 the time we did it with lube 1/2 the time we did it without and we were able to get it with and without it and weren't able to get it in with and without it. I don't know what the cause was for either. I've always been curious so I was the prime inniator but he was quick to comply with my curiousity

After the first try I didn't experience the feeling afterwards of being 'open' down there again, only that very first time. Most experts reccomend lube and lots of it to reduce chances for injury and tearing etc.

I wouldnt even attempt it if I wasn't sure where I stood on the last time I went to the bathroom. The times I tried it were times I had went recently... and was sure I was "empty" in that area. Like you at first I still had a natural urge to push down when feeling pressure in there, it kind of does recreate a sensation at first that makes you feel like you have to go to the bathroom. But I think thats mental - when you are sure that you don't have to go and you feel that, you know you can relax about it and eventually that feeling passes. At least it did for me.

Like I said no expert, and have not even gotten it in on every try - but its something I am still plenty curious about enough to want to try again. Its nothing I don't think I'd want on a regular basis but when the mood is right, I am feeling adventerous and I feel safe and secure back there I'd give it a go again for certain.

Like you, I am interested in understanding the type of pleasure that some women get from it - the pleasure I experienced was almost the denial of pleasure... I was so wet and turned on and didn't have him where I craved , but oh so close to it, pressing against it which was a turn on in and of itself. Also that pressure like I said... seem to make me even more turned on and wet and if I relaxed enough and we took our time I wonder too if it would lead to orgasm without any added stimulation.

But the last couple times we did it I also pushed a finger inside of my vagina because it just wanted to feel it so bad.

I don't know to me its like a challenge and just a little something extra in the pleasure aresenal to explore further. And theres something about it that feels extra special, I guess because its not something everyone practices, there is a naughty factor to it that is a turn on to me. I also like feeling like I am open to giving him all of me that I can in that way that I find emotionally satisfying.

As far as I am concerned,whatever makes my man happy and horny is good for me.It just turns me on to see him loving it.Marriages can last for a long time and can have incredible passion if you work on it ( other relationships too ) .My hubby and I have sex of some kind 1-3 times a day and I can't get enough ! Keep on trying anal and best wishes !

[bo0o]

the only thing i can say is drink a little.
Be a bit tipsy for this. Drinking is bad but it does help
you. the first time my guy and i did it anal i was in the worst
pain possible. I really wanted to cry and like you felt very
disgusted and "thought" i needed to poop. Then we tried again
but this time i was a bit tipsy not falling off the chair drunk
but just tipsy. It really helped reduce the pain.