[longshadow]

Hi -
As a man I find this offensive. I see it as a privative way to mark a woman as a possession.
I am probably way too old school but I think is a way to dominate and degrade - you are worthy of spit.
As far as us guys wearing your fluids while going down? Well we trade fluids all the time. Yet spunking your face? I can bet you that there are very few long lasting relationships where the man degrades the woman in this way.
Respect yourself.
Longshadow

[golden_nemesis]

Hi -
As a man I find this offensive. I see it as a privative way to mark a woman as a possession.
I am probably way too old school but I think is a way to dominate and degrade - you are worthy of spit.
As far as us guys wearing your fluids while going down? Well we trade fluids all the time. Yet spunking your face? I can bet you that there are very few long lasting relationships where the man degrades the woman in this way.
Respect yourself.
Longshadow

Your viewpoint is very interesting longshadow, and I suppose it could be seen that way, but I don't believe it would make be feel degraded. Each woman works differently. And because I would be doing it by choice, there is power in that. I think it is a little overbearing to say that you could not envision this happening in a long lasting relationship. What happens in the bedroom, as long as it is fully consensual and enjoyed by both parties, does not have to dictate the way you relate to each other in a larger sense.

My partner and I are equally dominant in our relationship, and perhaps a slight majority of the time he defers to me. In the bedroom, he is the more dominant one, and it turns me on incredibly much. Does he respect me? Absolutely. But I wouldn't mind one bit if he wanted to cum on my face, because I know we have a healthy relationship, and that though he may be dominant in our sexual relationships, if I said a word of protest he would never dream of doing it, so I am ultimately in power.

[Hopeless Dork]

Nothing is degrading between two willing consenting adults. I am in a long term, loving committed relationship and enjoy my boyfriends orgasm wherever it may end up. He is so respectful of me in every single way, more so than any other man I've been with in my life or known as a person. What we do sexually in the heat of the moment that we BOTH want, is respectful because we respect each other.

[amaranthine]

I understand what both perspectives are saying.

I would never let him do it unless I wanted him to. I respect my own wishes as well as his. Recently, we've talked about a compromise, such as taking a shower together and letting him do it in there so that I could easily wash it off.
But I don't know yet.

A note from before... I forget exactly who brought this up...
My boyfriend does go down on me, but he only ever sucks on my clit. He never really goes down to my vagina, or if he does, only visits there briefly before going back to the clit. I've never seen anything get on his face... but that's probably because I have problems lubricating myself (most likely due to my BC).

[longshadow]

Hi -
I understand that my opinion carries with it all my personal baggage. What happens in the bedroom or anywhere else is most certainly between the lovers. Spunking in someones face just seems to me very misogynist.
There is every likely-hood that I am wrong.

Thanks everybody
longshadow

[Hopeless Dork]

The act alone, without the love to back it up - I'd feel the same, some random encounter with a guy and he did that - it would seem very disrespectful. But a couple, exploring fantasies and wanting to embrace and taste and consume every ounce of their lover - I don't see it as degrading in that sense. But I think just random spunk in the face, yeah that I would characterize as degrading

[Talitha]

I've never done it before, I kind of agree with longshadow, it's like marking a woman as his property, sure whatever happens in the bedroom is between the couple, there probably is love between them and respect, but it doesn't make the act different from what it is. It'll always be degrading to me, not matter how much respect is between the two couple. The intention of the husband/bf might definitely not be to degrade his wife/gf, but the act itself still is degrading.

Love and respect for eachother doesn't change what it is, for me that is. It's like marking her with his, "dirt" labelling her as his. I could almost compare it to the way male dogs pee on a spot to mark territory. It disgusts me. I don't think I could ever do it, good thing my bf isn't into it. Swallowing is not a problem for me though, since i'm not being "marked" by his sperm, it's going inside, like it naturally would amyways, I like the way my bf tastes, so that's a plus, and besides, it has a lot of protein! :P

[golden_nemesis]

I've never done it before, I kind of agree with longshadow, it's like marking a woman as his property, sure whatever happens in the bedroom is between the couple, there probably is love between them and respect, but it doesn't make the act different from what it is. It'll always be degrading to me, not matter how much respect is between the two couple. The intention of the husband/bf might definitely not be to degrade his wife/gf, but the act itself still is degrading.

Love and respect for eachother doesn't change what it is, for me that is. It's like marking her with his, "dirt" labelling her as his. I could almost compare it to the way male dogs pee on a spot to mark territory. It disgusts me. I don't think I could ever do it, good thing my bf isn't into it. Swallowing is not a problem for me though, since i'm not being "marked" by his sperm, it's going inside, like it naturally would amyways, I like the way my bf tastes, so that's a plus, and besides, it has a lot of protein! :P

I do respect your view, and longshadow's, I guess I just bridled a bit at his statement that such an action would not be a part of a healthy long lasting relationship. I think if one or both did hold your view, that would be true. Intent and perception make all the difference in the world. For a person who perceives it as degrading, it makes sense to decline to do it. But for those of us who do not feel like a piece of dirt, it could be pretty fun. :-)

As far as sperm on the inside vs. the outside, I figure if I am ok with putting something inside my body, I should very well be comfortable with it on the outside of my body. Just the way I think, I guess.

As far as possession and marking of territory, we joke around sometimes, grabbing each other and babbling "mine, mine, mine, mine, aaaaaaaaalll mine." Its nice to feel that we belong to each other, without being possessive. I don't growl at other females that come around, and he has no problem with the fact most of my friends are guys. Perhaps that is because we have marked each other in private, we know exactly who we belong to, with no anxiety or fear about the converse being true. It makes things so easy and free of distrust. We may be each others' possessions, but that doesn't mean we have to be greedy, LOL, or domineering of each other.

[ItsASecret]

I've never done it before, I kind of agree with longshadow, it's like marking a woman as his property, sure whatever happens in the bedroom is between the couple, there probably is love between them and respect, but it doesn't make the act different from what it is. It'll always be degrading to me, not matter how much respect is between the two couple. The intention of the husband/bf might definitely not be to degrade his wife/gf, but the act itself still is degrading.

I definitely agree. Even if my boyfriend randomly said one night he would like to finish on my face I would be very reluctant to go through with it. I think him watching me give head is disgusting enough so we don't even have much light, so having him unload on my face and watch it drip down would likely be traumatizing to me.

[Talitha]

As far as sperm on the inside vs. the outside, I figure if I am ok with putting something inside my body, I should very well be comfortable with it on the outside of my body. Just the way I think, I guess.

I am going to quote wikipedia because it best describes how I feel and why I feel that way about the whole inside vs. outside thing.

"It is a convention of pornography that the sperm is on her, not in her. It marks the spot, what he owns and how he owns it. The ejaculation that is on her is a way of saying (through showing) that she is contaminated with his dirt; that she is dirty"

"In pornography, ejaculating onto a woman is a primary method by which she is turned into a , something (not really someone) whose primary, if not only, purpose is to be sexual with men."

This is pretty much how I see it, and why I woud feel humiliated by it, if my bf decided he wanted to come on any part of my body, especially on my face, of all places. It's very degrading to me. Maybe i'm too much of a feminist to accept submittion lol, but the wierd thing is that I do like being dominated a little, it's just that act that I have a huge problem with.