[hopethisworks]

ok so here's the deal. Just like it says, in 25 years I have NEVER had an orgasm no matter WHAT I do nobody can give me one. I've never even come close. Is this weird? How can I fix this? I would like for my boyfriend to give me one...I'm tired of faking.

[ItsASecret]

As long as you know what makes you feel good you just need to physically move his hand or fingers to where you want them to be and explain the angles, pressure and speed that you like. If you do not know what feels good, then you simply need to touch yourself. If you have not touched yourself before don't bother trying to orgasm the first few times because the stress of not being able to will prevent you from doing so. Also avoid pretending you have 'energy' in your body if you do not believe in it, it could just cause more frustration.

While your having sex or getting oral have you tried thinking about sexual images, scenes, or things your boyfriend does that makes you hot? You will need the arousal no matter what. Try vibrators as well if your into that.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think that if you are waiting for someone to "give you one" without first trying to achieve one on your own you could be setting yourself and partners up for some dissapointment and frustration. You have to figure out what feels good so that you can show your boyfriend, it will make his job much easier and put you on the fast track to satisfaction.

Do you masturbate? Would you be comfortable trying to? Learning what it takes for your body to orgasm, learning the build up of it , the sensations leading to it etc.. will make all those same things easier to duplicate with a partner.

[hopethisworks]

thanks for the help, i'll see if this works. The only problem is that obviously my body is hard to please and even if i did figure out what felt good to me I dont feel like he would last long enough to achieve that it never lasts long at all...30 minutes has been the most in almost 9 months....and even that was a stretch and he came more than once. he is not open to trying any kind of toys so i really just dont know what to do. i dont want to be stuck like this forever.

[rcoreyus]

Maybe you should let him know you have been faking. (I don't know him, don't know how he would take it). If he knew, he might not object to using toys to help you.

[SFDad]

Okay- I am no expert on women's orgasm's but might i suggest less focus on penis inside vagina and more on enjoying each others bodies?

My wife has never come by straight intercourse with me, but most times she gets 2-3 orgasms before we finish. Not bragging- but pointing out that a man can go down on a woman and bring her to orgasm quite independent of intercourse. Of course he needs to know how to do this, but if he hasn't tried, encourage him to do so.

If he isn't willing to try it out....well how interested in pleasing you is he anyways? Isn't that what sex is supposed to be about?

[Hopeless Dork]

30 minutes is a pretty lengthy session, at least in my world of sex in my relationship with 5-10 minutes being a quickie and 15-20 minutes on average (and very very satisfying) I think we have went over the 30 minute mark on a super long edition going probably closer to an hour, but my pleasure wasn't any more than it was in the 15- 20 minutes we usually take to both come.

I think the ticket is lots of foreplay, lots of arrousal for YOU before penetration, that way the actual intercourse...is just bringin' it on home - so to speak. If he brings you close to orgasm with his mouth or hand before entering you - he can go 3 minutes and it will do the job.

So do try working on coming alone if you are open to it, it really really really will open your eyes to things to try when you are with him to help the process along. Waiting for someone else to make you come might be a romantic notion but knowing how to get there, and guiding your lover to taking the ride with you going to lead to a lot more moans!

[ptcforlove]

Never had an orgasm

I am 51 years old and been married twice and never had an orgasm. I tried every position you can think of and nothing happens. I would just love to have that experience once before I die to see what it's all about. So tired of pretending...any ideas from the men out there or women

[nightqueen]

I am 51 years old and been married twice and never had an orgasm. I tried every position you can think of and nothing happens. I would just love to have that experience once before I die to see what it's all about. So tired of pretending...any ideas from the men out there or women

You say you've tried every position, but I don't orgasm through sex alone--no matter the position. I need direct stimulation of my clit. How about just touching there and playing with it--see what happens!

[yungmama]

I am 24 with 2 kids and have not had an orgasm from sex or oral either!! I dont know what the ........someone help us plz!!