[MissLyss]

I simply have to comment on this-- I've been in a few threads about not being able to orgasm, because I, like a lot of you in this thread, feel like I can't do it! I've only been sexually active for around 10 months, and my boyfriend and I were both virgins -- but it's still so frustrating that I don't orgasm.

Everyone suggests masturbation, which makes sense -- but my problem there is that I don't like the idea of touching myself. I try it, and it doesn't really help because I just don't like it. That's annoying, too, because I wish I could just suck it up and do it! My boyfriend and I do research, though, about both oral and actual intercourse.

The other weird thing about me is that I tend to have orgasms in my sleep. I had one a few weeks ago, then seventeen days later I had another (I started to count) and then four days later I had another. What the heck?! Why do I have them in my sleep but no other time!? Gahhhh!

[Guest]

The other weird thing about me is that I tend to have orgasms in my sleep. I had one a few weeks ago, then seventeen days later I had another (I started to count) and then four days later I had another. What the heck?! Why do I have them in my sleep but no other time!? Gahhhh!

If men don't experience sexual release normally, they have orgasms in their sleep as well....hence wet dreams.

You're gonna have to get past the touching yourself thing. It's not dirty, and it feels good. You have to learn your body.

If you're completely against that, have your guy perform oral.

[PJhavinfunagain]

OK those who have never had one... Does you man use his hands or tongue on you? I never had one until I found a man who realized a womans pleasure was not just from sticking his penis in you vagina. He needs to touch you everywhere! have him pay attention to your breasts and nipples too. If my guy is sucking on my nipples and rubbing my clit... OH my!... Ok I gotta stop LOL...

[MissLyss]

If men don't experience sexual release normally, they have orgasms in their sleep as well....hence wet dreams.

You're gonna have to get past the touching yourself thing. It's not dirty, and it feels good. You have to learn your body.

If you're completely against that, have your guy perform oral.

He does! That's the thing. And I try touching myself, and it's just not something that does it for me. I try to force myself and try to get used to it, as everyone suggests it, but sometimes I just want to hear what technically works for other women -- like, what EXACTLY does it for her, while she's with the guy.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking this thread! Just know that you're definitely not alone in your orgasm struggles! If I figure something out, I'll let you know.

[PJhavinfunagain]

Everyone suggests masturbation, which makes sense -- but my problem there is that I don't like the idea of touching myself. I try it, and it doesn't really help because I just don't like it. That's annoying, too, because I wish I could just suck it up and do it! My boyfriend and I do research, though, about both oral and actual intercourse.

The other weird thing about me is that I tend to have orgasms in my sleep. I had one a few weeks ago, then seventeen days later I had another (I started to count) and then four days later I had another. What the heck?! Why do I have them in my sleep but no other time!? Gahhhh!

1st... you are not alone in that touching yourself just fells wierd. Keep trying you will be greatly rewarded! Also try a vibrator. I so regret not getting one years ago when I was first sexualy active. I lost my virginity 18 years ago and am only really learning about my body now.

2nd... You are having orgasims in you sleep because your bady needs it and you are fully relaxed. Relax more when you and your BF are together. You are both learning and eploring. Get some soft porn and watch together, then try out some new things!

[Arbie]

Never had an orgasm?

WOW! Ladies, forget you partner for a moment here. Your partner will not have a clue what to do until you do. Don't get the misconception that you need penetration to achieve orgasm either. Clitoral stimulation is the way to start out here. For those who are a little wary about touching yourself down there, start off in the shower/bath. Just tickling, squeezing and generally exploring down there. Move to the bedroom (privately, leave hubby out of this for a little while longer). Start to massage the clitoris (if unsure of where this is google suck it up and google it, there's plenty of diagrams out there) in a circular motion. You might find that rubbing over the clitoris in a diagonal direction is pleasurable (other muscles may reflex) just go with it as you build up speed and gather some sort of rhythm try holding your breath or cease breathing for short periods of time. You'll get why as you go and find your own way. If you do eventually achieve orgasm PRACTICE! Women are wonderfully capable of multiple orgasms! Keep at it, the try adding in penetration (toys, fingers) this where hubby may come in to play. But get to know yourself first.

This is all of course if you trust some 18 year old girl from Australia! I love and appreciate my body and find so much freedom in knowing myself. I want EVERY woman to know experience that!

[sweetsunshine]

I had my first orgasm from sex when i was 23. I started having sex when i was 18. It took a long time to figure out what i like but what helped the most was being on top and getting his pelvic bone to rub against my clit. Then i told him about his pelvic bone adding that extra stimulation and when he is on top he tries to get in that position.

I was also too embarrassed and too worried to hurt his feelings to tell him what i did and didn't like about oral but when if i were giving him oral i would mind if he told me what he liked/didn't like. communication is huge.