[Lady16]

heyyy everyone.. im new to this but feel like i need some women to talk to about my problem...

I DONT ENJOY SEX!!!!

me and my man have an active sex life and for him thats amazing but for me its just a chore because i never ever orgasm!! we are both eachothers '1st time' so neither of us have had the experiece before so we have no ideas how to make me orgasm, i always orgasm during 4play but just not sex!! my boyfriend really enjoys sex and i love him soo much so i want to be able to give him sex without feeling asif i am about to do a days housework!!

i was just wondering if anyone has any ideas how i can enjoy sex???

x

[WildChild]

I first replied to your post in the Lounge bit it really belongs here, so I moved answer and will delete that duplicate post. Please don't post the same question in different topics.

Trying to give extensive sex ed to newbies is kind of hard to do, entire books have been written about it. So....I'm going to suggest some books and resources. The Orgasm Loop is a good one, Going Down, is another, One Hour Orgasm gives dome great hand techniques as well as discussing how to set the stage and build up anticipation. There is a lot of stuff on line, maybe do some searching around?
Do a site search here, we've had a lot of discussion covering quite a bit of ground.

Do you masterbate? Can you get yourself off?

[Lady16]

i masterbate now and again when my boyfriend is at work.. but my boyfriend does always 'finish me off' after sex using 4play so i do manage to orgasm but i just really want to be able to orgasm through sex x

[Iseulda]

So you can orgasm, at your own hand and during foreplay (and afterplay) with him - you want to orgasm during penetrative sex.

Well - you need to ask yourself some questions about the orgasms you do have.

What kind of stimulation makes you orgasm? Clitoral? Vaginal penetration? G-spot specific? Something else?

If you masturbate by rubbing your clitoris then try having sex in a position where you, or he, can stimulate you in the way that makes you orgasm. That's how I had my first orgasms during intercourse - basically masturbating myself to orgasm while getting the stimulation of penetration as well. Doggy and spooning are great positions to one or both of you a free hand to stimulate your clitoris or other parts during intercourse.

Some women never orgasm from penetrative sex alone and need extra stimulation. Some are perfectly happy with the foreplay / afterplay orgasms you already get but there's nothing wrong with wanting more - there's also nothing wrong if you can't achieve it.

Another thing you can try is g-spot stimulation. Have you found your g-spot yet? We're all a bit different but the quickest way to mine is a common one - have your boyfriend put his middle and index finger inside your vagina with his palm facing toward him, then have him make a beckoning motion with those two fingers, you know, like calling a waiter over. If you're anything like me you'll go week at the knees - if you're not then he may need to try a little higher up, or lower down, or a slightly different pressure. You'll know it when you feel it. Once you both identify this spot together then you can try different position that means his penis is stimulating that spot during intercourse. For me on my back with my legs on his shoulders is the optimal one.

Try lots of different things - don't just lie there letting him put it in and out - that will lead to unsatisfying sex for both of you. But don't worry if you don't orgasm - stressing about is only going to make achieving it more difficult. Enjoy the orgasms you do have and the intimacy of looking for new ways to give each other varied pleasure.

[Lady16]

Thank You Iseulda Me and My Boyfriend Looked For My Gspot when he got home from work and we found it (yey) and i went weak at the knees like you said ha ha ha!!! And Guess what Ladiesssss i orgasmed during sex!!!!! i tryed about 300000 positions before i found the one that did it for me, bent over the bed whilst he was pernertrating me and playing with my clitorus.. it didnt take me long either!! thank you sooo much girls you have been a big help!!! xxxxxxxxx

[WildChild]

Wow! That was speedy. Good for you! Keep up the good work!

[Lady16]

as soon as i read your comments back i had to try it ha ha ha my boyfriend thought it was his birthday come early ha ha ha!!! im never keeping quite about problems again im going to ask you girls!!!! it will be my boyfriend writing on a mens chat saying im a sex pest if the sex carrys on like it was tonight ha ha ha xxxx

[WildChild]

Orgasm does put it in a different perspective doesn't?

[happy ending]

Orgasm does put it in a different perspective doesn't?

it certainly does, when i was married i used to wonder why people raved about sex, to me it was just another dirty mess to clean up - now its all very different. congrats on finding your hot spot. i bet your boyfriend was pleased with himself!

[Iseulda]

Hey, I'm so glad it happened for you!

Talking and trying different things are key to a good sex life.

And yes, hurray for orgasms!