[solders_nvr_die]

okay been here a day and did alot of reading and going through stuff here and i want to make a point we men do need to relize how selfish we are and its tough because most the time we dnt relize it i know now to do things without being asked and so she worries less also why do we expect sumthing when we go to kiss / hold and coress our lovers why cant it just be left at that and not always lead to sex im so glade i found this site and will use this as a resorce for me and hope others do too i just cant belieave how selfish we are and dnt relize it

[GStar]

I've never had sex with anyone but if I did the only thing I'd want to do is ensure that they had the best time I could give them. I don't see how you could be selfish to a women, espescially when it comes to sex.

[WildChild]

Well we women have been pretty much trained out of, or don't know how to communicate what we want or need. Men so often become defensive,that may be insecurity but it's hard on women. I had some bad experiences when I was younger with my first husband telling me that there was something wrong with me if I didn't enjoy what he did sexually. It left me skittish about expressing my likes and dislikes.

For all the talk about women not wanting sex, I've found men to be more sensitive in many ways. Any little problem and they shut it off. Apparently they think it's OK if they do that, but not if a woman does.

Really both genders need to open up and be more aware of meeting each other's needs. The man I care for and I discussed this at length when we first got together but it's pretty much become his way or the highway.

[happy ending]

some men are very selfish, some are like you and do their best within their abilities to satisfy their women. you are right wild child, women often think men should just know what they want. whereas if we tell them they are often quite happy to do it. my ex however it was his way or the highway.

[solders_nvr_die]

see my wife is closed off unless she is wanting sex and i always wonder why she didnt want the snuggling and small kisses and i belieave now its because i set her up for that bc usually i wld expect that to get me sum and so she shut alot of us doing that off i feel that both parties need to talk bout their sex/life relation ship at least 1-2 times a week i dnt get embarresed because i see its important but now i just got to wait for deployment to be over with

[WildChild]

You could talk to her in letters or emails. Tell her what you love about her, what you miss, how you would like to touch and kiss her, how much you want to be there for her, to do things with her. Talk to her about the little things - talking a walk together, playing with the baby, brushing her hair for her and running your fingers through it. It could you both feel more connected.

Tell her about the things you see and people you meet. Encourage her thoughts and feelings.

[Guest]

its different when you go from having sex to barely any... women have needs too. any girl that says otherwise....run! lol,

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's in the understanding that we are romantic creatures, emotional creatures so if we give, and then "expectations" are had, purely because we wanted to touch, kiss, feel "love", you guys obviously, then turn that into "sex", which is not the affection we showed, we were showing "love"...

Down boys.

CW

[happy ending]

its is all tied up with emotions with women, some men need to learn that no all displays of affection lead to sex. a bad rub, hug, snuggle etc are not all signs that women are gagging for it. some women are too afraid to show affection because they know it leads to sex. sometimes it does, but it shouldnt have to. i love massaging my honey, i will rub his back for hours, he loves it too, sometimes i get horny, sometimes i get sleepy. he doesnt mind either way because he enjoyed the backrub. anyway i should stop bragging about my honey all the time, you must all get sick of it!

[WildChild]

Not at all Happy, it's good to know there are people who have relationships that are working well!