[sandman24]

ladies ur thoughts on my theory

i think it depends on the size of the girl. A lot woman dont seem to know that they come in different sizes like men do and usually go with the bigger is better mentality till they meet someone who sizes causes too much pain or meet a lover who size isnt what they expected but was wowed in bed my the man carrying it that they stop caring about it.

then again there are woman who bigger vaginas who want bigger dicks to match them ( cant blame them for that) but alot who seem scream about size also claim to have the tightest vagina ever which makes me wonder if they are just really into pain or so they can brag to friends about how big the guy is they are screwing( or maybe they are lying about the tight part

from personal experience the one girl i slept with who didnt think i was big enough to satisfy her was also the only girl i considered faking my orgasm ( she viewed sex completely like what they do in porn, just a 15- 30 min session of me jackhammering it in there and if I tried anything else she complained about it and /or she tell me to get off of her and we stop having sex)

now im not saying all girls who care about size are like the woman i dated but im willing to bet a lot of them are.

OGFL,
I have noticed the same thing & am wondering if this is just a coincidence, or if most size queens have a porn mentality of sex. Do any of my lady friends have an opinion??? I'd always considered my penis to b average, & although I despised mediocrity n every other aspect of my life, I'd learned that I'd might as well love the one I have b'c I can't change it & I'd never had any complaints & still haven't(directly anyway). it was only recently that penis size had ever felt like an issue to me when as I've mentioned in other posts, My current gf indirectly made me aware I'm not nearly as large as some she's seen, including Mr. 10", who was the best bf she has had other than me,(of course she'd tell me that!!!). Another thing she has told me is I'm the shortest guy she's been w:, which i'm sure she knew I would assume meant smallest member!!!

B4 allowing myself to develop a complex, I would never pick apart my gf's every word or actions looking for a way to take offense, but i've since become insecure & behavedlike what I despise most, a jealous, approval seeking wuss!!! B'c she insists on either grinding me as hard as possible or having me give her all I've got in doggy-style, often w: a toy, I started thinking that was the only way I could give her what she want. B'c I always want her to finish 1st, I trained myself to forget about how good I felt so I could last long enough for her to finish. B'c I had to use my mind to succeed, it made it feel like a duty I was performing rather than the instant orgasm it used to b.

As most of u probably know, u can't climax when u get up in ur head & to make matters worse she would get upset if I didn't cum as quick as she was through. This led me to feel like I disappointed her & feel pressure to rush to the finish. While worrying that she wasn't gonna let me finish after exasperated sighs I was so out of it I would lose my erection. The shame this caused developed into full blown performance anxiety which despite logic I still deal w:.

ladies, I know I've went way long but if u wouldn't mind can u give me an honest answer to the following:
1. am I likely correct in interpreting her preferred sexual style to indicate that she likes larger? She also endures painful carpet burns/bruised shins & knees, etc. so she can keep going.

2. were her statement's & actions intentional & malicious, and if so, why would u do that to someone u love?

Thanks in advance,
Sandman24
3. What should I do? How do I do it???

[Hopeless Dork]

Well it depends what conversation lead up to her disclosing mr. 10 inches ( I do believe she has miscalculated his size though) Sometimes guys will say they are X amount of inches and girls just buy it because who is really going to break out a ruler to contradict? Anyways... if she just randomly started talking about her exboyfriends penis' and went on about a 10 incher and called you shortest... for no reason, then yeah, she's either dillusionally brutally honest... lacks social skills or basic common sense (if she doesn't act this way in general, then yeah, you can take it as a personal attack) but if she is usually aloof to what she is saying, maybe she just didn't realize how insensitive she was being.

HOWEVER... if you were the one that asked... if you were the one that went digging and poking around wanting to know about her exes sizes... then I don't think she was being mean, just honest... and probably a little vindictive to you for asking her those things in the first place.

[WildChild]

Increasingly I think that many behaviors such as this which people go through are an attempt to create a purely physical experience that substitutes for a more balanced emotional and physical experience. When there is a deep emotional and spiritual (not talking religious here) connection, the physical connection moves to a much higher level as well.

When we lack the emotional/spiritual connection we feel something is missing. The relationship, including sex, isn't as satisfying. There is certainly nothing wrong with a good old roll in the hay, just a total physical experience - but not all the time. We are here for a purpose completely based in love. We transfer from a spiritual existance to a physical body to learn to interact and love at another level. When we are not serving that purpose we feel the lack and unconsciously seek to fill the void. Some people use food, drugs, alcohol, violence, escape into fantasy of video or film, or oddly scripted performance requirements (including sexual), in an attempt to fill the void. None of it works, it's not what we need. We have consciously forgotten why we are here at some level we know and are not satisfied until we moving toward our purpose.

Can you work at connecting with her on a deeper level through your sexual experience? A good book to start with understanding this is, One Hour Orgasm.

[pretzel]

Increasingly I think that many behaviors such as this which people go through are an attempt to create a purely physical experience that substitutes for a more balanced emotional and physical experience. When there is a deep emotional and spiritual (not talking religious here) connection, the physical connection moves to a much higher level as well.

When we lack the emotional/spiritual connection we feel something is missing. The relationship, including sex, isn't as satisfying. There is certainly nothing wrong with a good old roll in the hay, just a total physical experience - but not all the time. We are here for a purpose completely based in love. We transfer from a spiritual existance to a physical body to learn to interact and love at another level. When we are not serving that purpose we feel the lack and unconsciously seek to fill the void. Some people use food, drugs, alcohol, violence, escape into fantasy of video or film, or oddly scripted performance requirements (including sexual), in an attempt to fill the void. None of it works, it's not what we need. We have consciously forgotten why we are here at some level we know and are not satisfied until we moving toward our purpose.

Can you work at connecting with her on a deeper level through your sexual experience? A good book to start with understanding this is, One Hour Orgasm.

There's alot of truth here, but at the same time I think that if change the question a little that maybe the answers will also change.

You mention the very real difference between sex and making love. That being the emotional aspect versus the "roll in the hay" fun physical part.

I, for one, despite my own insecurities about how I view my own penis, have learned through the years that the level of pleasure are not solely based on size.

However, if it's just a physical enjoyment of sex, taking out the emotional bonding that occurs during making love, would anyone's opinion change. If just for the fun of sex, would people prefer men more endowed than average? Same could be said for guys, on a purely physical aspect, would a women's breast size preference change?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

There are different types of "humans" in this world, let's say.

Those who can tap into their inner-selves and therefore, tap into emotions, bonding, connection, they can feel everything, see everything, visualize, acknowledge their senses, truly feel just on a touch... Then those who are cold, self centered, were bought up to be selfish and attend only to their needs.

The partners have to match to the different "types" of people, or else there is no connection, only greed and not so kind words, which brings a person down...

We were made to fit, feel... But, not all people have as WC stated, have that awareness, soulfulness, connection with themselves,life and all that it is.

All men in my opinion have a hangup over their size. Even the larger guys as women walk away because it's too big for them, or else they use it as a tool to whoa women, and end up very lonely and un-loved at 45+, no children and wonder why..

And, the reason is unfortunately the people they sleep with. The comments that those people make. The reactions.. Yet, if they came across a person who could feel, was in-touch with herself, life, SENSUAL in every aspect... Just to touch your member, would bring a sensual feeling upon them, a connection....

So in my opinion, always ditch the cold person, before they make you feel less of a man. Because, it will be evident outside the bedroom too as they want other things in life and you will be constantly trying to please.

There is nothing wrong with working towards a woman finishing, and there is nothing wrong with her also taking the lead, at the beginning, during or after. It's always in my opinion about giving and taking equally, loving the person your with and therefore, loving thy penis and in that, him knowing how he makes you feel, and that he's a man......

Size, has nothing to do with it.

And, I'm not talking from my current relationship Just in general, that's my opinion... I'm extremely happy in that department.

CW

[Rediscovered]

CW's words are very wise and very true.

And my personal experience with penis size...previously in my life, I could only have sex one time with a man (including my ex-husband) and then I would be too sore, too raw to do it again for a few days (and didn't want to anyway). This includes the men with whom I'd been before my husband, men of all shapes and sizes.

Now I am with the first person I feel truly connected to spiritually, emotionally and sexually. And we often make love 3-4 times over the span of just a day or two (we only get to see each other on weekends). I'm always ready to go, never sore.

Is it his penis size that fits me perfectly or his heart? I tend to think it's a little of both...

[sandman24]

thank wildchild!!!

Increasingly I think that many behaviors such as this which people go through are an attempt to create a purely physical experience that substitutes for a more balanced emotional and physical experience. When there is a deep emotional and spiritual (not talking religious here) connection, the physical connection moves to a much higher level as well.

When we lack the emotional/spiritual connection we feel something is missing. The relationship, including sex, isn't as satisfying. There is certainly nothing wrong with a good old roll in the hay, just a total physical experience - but not all the time. We are here for a purpose completely based in love. We transfer from a spiritual existance to a physical body to learn to interact and love at another level. When we are not serving that purpose we feel the lack and unconsciously seek to fill the void. Some people use food, drugs, alcohol, violence, escape into fantasy of video or film, or oddly scripted performance requirements (including sexual), in an attempt to fill the void. None of it works, it's not what we need. We have consciously forgotten why we are here at some level we know and are not satisfied until we moving toward our purpose.

Can you work at connecting with her on a deeper level through your sexual experience? A good book to start with understanding this is, One Hour Orgasm.

Can you work at connecting with her on a deeper level through your sexual experience? A good book to start with understanding this is, One Hour Orgasm

Wildchild,

Thanks for taking time for such a thorough response!!! I agree w: u 100% that there's so much more to sex than the physical aspect. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy the carnal aspect of sex, but in order for it to b as good as it can be I need to b emotionally & spiritually connected. I used to have a 1 dimensional sex life too, where it felt more like masterbation w: a partner rather than the deepest form of communication & intimacy two ppl can experience, but once u've had the ribeye bolognia doesn't satisfy u anymore.

Based on what I've told u about the things she's said & also how she likes to have sex, do u think she misses being treated like a sex toy by her "pornstar" ex's, or do u think that she just isn't aware that mind, body & soul connected sex is on the menu? I thought that might b the case, but we've had earth shakingly good sex many times in the past.

Secondly, one of the main things that I've found needed to have great sex is when u & ur SO are so comfortable w: each other & trusting that u can drop all inhibitions & insecurities aside & fully express urselfs. Am I being overly sensitive, or is she purposefully trying to make me self conscious & insecure?

Finally, I have found that once I love someone, I drop my guard, quit trying to act all macho, & allow myself to be vulnerable. when I've been in love b4 my friends would say how "whooped" I am. I have always thought that as long as my girl loved me too, & reciprocated by spoiling me back that I want to b "whooped", & would lay down not just my happiness, but my life for my woman. Is this not the way to be?

Thanks in advance,

Sandman

[Beesmommy]

I feel that it depends on the person lol..me personally i think average is good for me lol...not too big not too small, my bf's penis is actually curved so some times it does hurt when we have sex because it rubs on that same side majority of the time and is uncomfortable sometimes...but i like it, he makes me squirt so im happy lol.....

[Guest]

All men don't have a hang up about their size. I don't and have never done. Again, as mentioned before, if it does the job, and mine has several times, then it's performed it's function. If I'm naked in front of a woman I don't feel at all uneasy about the size of my penis. I'm confident in it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sounds like I'm picking on you tonight

How many people are not in-secure? How many are totally confident very few and obviously your one who is, and that's to be commended.

CONFIDENCE is the key.

But, in my experience, even the confidence ones get in-secure, when the woman walks away, says no more.. .They chase like nobody's business. But, I'm huge? But, I last along time? Why? And in that, it's because we as women will not be used, as meat, simply put.. It may have been un-real... But we are looking for more, not just SEX.. But, love.. Remember, we are emotional creatures, you can be good, you can perform well, you can be confident, but if you can't give more than just a great romp, you can still be history

CW